Writing Wicked Prayer

[Inuyasha Fandom]

A cool wind blows by me as I write this. My MP3 player sounds off with a meloncholy rendition of a grand sonata, and even still, this makes me feel even more grave. A glass of wine sits next to me, hald empty, the color a deep red, reminding me of the blood within my own veins.

I suppose I'm wondering where I should be. I don't really know where the path I'm walking on will lead me. I wander the path, leading those who will follow. I hold the lantern, lighting the way. But, no one walks beside me.

Long ago, I remember being happy. My life was full of promise. I believed i was here to bring smiles to people's faces, to guide them through their ordeals.

Now, I ponder if I must walk my path alone, with no one by my side. Am I able to lead, but never find someone to walk by my side?

Truely, is this my destiny? Life and love ever revolve around me, and I find myself lost on my path. I am able to lead, but I myself am lost to the chaos of time.

I'm bless with the mercy of the holy mother, and cursed with the grim reaper's heart of stone. That is the self I portray. I am the dark angel, too good for hell, and too bad for heaven. I walk the path of eternity, forever guiding, forever alone.

My tears are like ice, they fall from my eyes like precious pearls, glittering and beautiful, but far away from the sights of others. I suffer alone, all they see is a smile. Rarely have I ever let any one see me cry, and to those who have, you better feel DAMN priveledged.

Roses in a vase... dead and wilted. How ironic I'm fascinated. So much inide my head, and no one to talk to about it. My curse, my blessing. It's both, and yet neither at all.

I think of people from my past now, and wonder how they're doing. But, I lead another life now, and I don't wish to be dragged back into the past.

The past is just that, though it makes us who we are. Sometimes, my life feels like a crazy train of which there is no stopping. I myself often say I crash, bash, and thrash my way through life. I've never burnt bridges, and truth be told, I'm a different person now from just a year ago. Such a short time, and yet, so much has happened.

To be honest, I didn't think I would make it to see 23. But, things happened, and I met someone who gave me strength to persevere. But, me and them are no more.

And you know what? Oh fucking well. Now, thanks to this past year, I have a whole life ahead of me. I'm weak, but my strength carries me forth. I cannot be destroyed. You wanna fuck with me? Come on, let's play. I'll take anything you got, and I'll rock your entire world. Fuck with me, and I'll roll you. I may have to go to the hospital afterward, but trust me, you'll be in far worse shape than me. I'll just have to go to the hospital because my heart might give out from the pressure it's under. You'll be unconcious with broken bones. Of course, I might die while in the hospital, but still.

Despite that, I'm far more sweet than I care to admit. I dislike violence, I hate fighting simply because I know too well the power I have. I've taken on guys bigger than I am, smaller than I am, and the same size as me. I lose only when I want to. I'm not human when I fight. There's something else entirely housed within my mortal body, and it doesn't stop. It stops when my opponent isn't moving anymore.

Rage is something I'm full of. It's one of my secrets. I've seriously hurt people because of it. And I hate hurting people. It rips me apart knowing what I've done.

I'm not trying to be big and bad. All in all, I'm a softie, a pansy. Just don't piss me off, and all will be cool. I'm a sarcastic bitch, yes, but I will shy away from conflict unless I'm pissed off.

Why am I babbling now? I have nothing real to say anymore. I have a whole life ahead of me now, and an inheritance I'm starting to tap into. I got money out the ass. I've got nothing to worry about, my health will eventually be just fine.

I'm thrilled with myself right now, in all actuality. I've got a life I'm happy with. I've got people who care, and don't shun me for being who I am. That's more than a lot of people have. Compared to some, I have everything. I'm wild and passionate, caring and care-free. I'm a punk, and yet also a gentleman. I'll give everything I can, and keep no secrets. I've had to go through more than more people have, and seen more than most have. I can give advice, more than likely because if I didn't go through it, then I know someone who did.

But, I'm sleepy. I'm going to bed now. Good night people

[Drizzt Do'urden]

Nicley done Inu, really the only thing I have to say besides that is try spellchecking before you read.

There were a few glaring spelling errors, but nothing that took anything from the reading. That's really the only critique I can give besides I really enjoyed reading that piece, and happy to hear that your soul isn't really that bleak.