Military

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Okay, I know alot of our guys are military and I know that alot of our girls are too; my husband just left for his first deployment, 4 months. We haven't been apart for an extended period of time for a long time, almost 3 years. I'm having a hard time adjusting to this and I was wondering if anyone else up here has ever been through this and what they suggest to help me gt through this next 4 months so I don't go nuts missing him to much. I have my 3 kids to help me but there have been times that I just want to sit down and cry. Any advice? [/FONT][/COLOR]

[chibi-master]

Okay, this is going to sound like a load of sentimental CRAP, but...

Look at your signature. Note the phrase "going strong". In order for a relationship to "go strong", I'm pretty sure both people need to be strong. So just remember, you're strong and you'll get through whatever the heck life decides to throw at you while your husband is deployed. There's a reason that's in your signature: IT'S TRUE.:catgirl:

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]My boyfriend is a Lieutenant in the Army Reserves and he disappears on the first weekend of every month, and twice a year for two to three week training. We've been dating for nearly a year, but at the moment he's in San Diego doing...something.

Whatever it is he's been so busy he hasn't had the time to call me for four days straight and when I did try to reach him he was preoccupied and the conversation just went nowhere. And he's been gone for a week now. And the day he's back is the day I'm shipping out to the Phillipines as part of a medical team. So we'll miss each other the entire summer.

My advice? As ridiculous as it is, is to simply not worry. Not worry that he'll wander off base and find some hot young skinny attractive large breasted non nagging exotic woman to give him a lap dance. [Yes, that's what I'm paranoid about]. Not think that no news means he stepped on a grenade and is now on his way home in multiple pieces. It's difficult, because like any woman with an over active imagination I'm afraid that every little thing that was in our last, unsatisfactory, conversation is just a sign of something much more serious. But sometimes no news really is good news. I know it's difficult to be separated from someone, especially when you don't have the prior additional dealbreaker commitment of a marriage, but if I can pull my mangled hyper-emotional insane brain through it, you can.

Also, consider sending him a love letter. The kind his Commanding Officer will make him do pushups for. Plaster it with lipstick kisses and on the back write "Love Larry." [just kidding][/FONT][/COLOR]

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Thanks Raiha, your last line made me smile for the first time today. thank you for that.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Drizzt Do'urden]

Well KG I can't even count the number of times I've been through this, on the other side of course. Similar to Raiha's bf I'm in the Air National Guard and have been deployed to various areas over the years.

Your problem made me go back and look at how many times/how long i've been gone during my 5 year relationship with my fiancee and I've tallyed up that I've spent exactally 1/4 of our relationship out of country, and even more then that if I'd count my drill weekends and in country excercises.

I asked my fiancee exactally how she's mangaged to endure during these deployments, ranging from 8 months to 1 month and she told me, and it sounds cliche, that "Abscence makes the heart grow stronger".

She says that while I'm gone she simply focuses on the little things in our relationship, like the fact that she's a ridiculously horrible cook and i take care of all that. So instead of trying to push thoughts like that out of her head, she allows the fact that I take care of the cooking to sink in and though it doesn't help ease any pain it does "make me feel closer" (her words).

She also spends more time with my family then she typically would. One thing that is an advantage for you that she doesn't possess is your children, everytime you look at your children during his abscence you'll think of him. Every quark in their personality that you say is a little bit of him in them you'll see/touch/feel.

Also, one advantage you have in being active duty is a heavy support system. I'm sure there are quite a few women and even men you are able to connect with and share your experiences with. One last thing KG if you need anything feel free to pm me here or add me to yahoo or msn if you have either (my id's are on my profile).

@ Raiha (and KG) Thinking about things like strippers and hookers isn't something I'd suggest...though I can understand where it's a better thought then "stepping on a grenade" but its a fruitless thought. This is the exact reason that significant others cheat on their deployed spouses. It's not because they've met another person who's going through the same thing and they've "connected", it's normally because thoughts like this acompanied by the loneliness don't go well together.

In the end it's just like Cheese Master said, being strong is what you'll have to do. For yourself, Knuckles, and your children.

[Raiha]

[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Most of that was gallows humor. I don't seriously think my boyfriend is going to hire a stripper to cheer himself up any more than I think he's tired of me, and that's the reason he hasn't called me for now.. ...er...

Five days.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Drizzt Do'urden']In the end it's just like [B]Cheese Master[/B] said, being strong is what you'll have to do.[/QUOTE]

That's [B]chibi-master[/B], Drizzt. [B]Chibi-master[/B].

[Drizzt Do'urden]

[quote name='chibi-master']That's [B]chibi-master[/B], Drizzt. [B]Chibi-master[/B].[/quote]

I'm...so sorry. That's all I really can say I read one thing and thought another.

[Ol' Fighter]

Aww, Knuckles...

I know it's nearly impossible to stop thinking about him being so far away, but like Raiha said just try not to think too much about it...hey, plus this is his fourth deployment I'm pretty sure he knows what he's doing. I say it's times like these were you need to find yourself a hobby. Something that will keep you entertained for hours like reading a super long book or if your a total gamer play a game that never ends like Star Ocean or somethin'.

Of course telling anyone to stop thinking about someone they love is impossible, but just try to control your fiery passion for your guy and be strong like chibi-master and Drizz said. He'll be home before you know it.