Is it wrong?

[Akieen Cloud]

[COLOR="Navy"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Okay, here's the back story of my question. I'm a very friendly person and when it comes to my friends I'm even more so. I'm also a big flirt, but it's harmless, just goofing off and having fun. My best friend lives in the same area as my mom who I am visiting at the moment, so I've been hanging out with him and a couple of my other friends, now my best friend's girl friend flipped her lid today cause I was leaning on him while we sat on the hood of his car talking, so here's my question...Flirting among friends, harmless jokes, play hits, poking fun at one another, all of the flirty little things we do, is it wrong among friends who are as close as siblings? Or even between friends period? Or is it okay as long as it doesn't go past flirting? Just looking for opinions.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Jabberwocky]

[FONT="Palatino Linotype"]Flirting is natural. Friends joke around and the two can get intertwined. One of my friends is like my brother, but having said that it never stopped... *ahem*

I personally don't see the big deal. Some people are just more touchy feely then others. One of my friends thought the person mentioned in the first paragraph wanted her. For months the smallest act of his was turned into a huge 'flirtatious' move on her. It annoyed the crap out of my ex-girlfriend and I. Boy, how disapointed she would be if she still liked him...

But I sil don't see why jokes and regular flirting would be a problem, it's not like there IS anything further beyond that point, so I woudln't be all flippy over it. For me, as long as you're not kissing my significant other, I'm perfectly fine with the jokes/flirting. Besides with my friends every other comment out of our mouths is some sexual inuendo, so it's all fine with me.[/FONT]

[Botar]

[COLOR="DarkGreen"]Just don't go past flurting and you'll be just fine. Flurting is fun and harmless.[/COLOR]

[Korey]

[FONT= Franklin Gothic Medium] I feel like I'm back in high school >>

As long as you don't act further, then you should be ok. As far as the possesive GF/Wife/whatever goes, that's your friend's call. You both know there's nothing going on, but if it seriously bothering you, then bring it up with your friend. No sense in ruining your friendship.[/FONT]

[Gavin]

[SIZE="1"]Taking the up the mantle of devil's advocate I'm going to ask you to look at it from his girlfriend's perspective for just a moment, sure both of you mean it as just something harmless but she mightn't see it the same way. Personally no, I don't see there being anything wrong with joking and flirting between two old friends but I would try to be aware of other people's feelings over it.

I think your best friend needs to try to assure his girlfriend that it's all just harmless rather than you getting worked up over it.[/SIZE]

[John]

I don't think you or your friend were behaving inappropriately, but I'm with Gavin in that I think you need to consider the girlfriend's feelings, whether you think they're unfair or not. It'd probably be a whole lot easier for you to tone down the flirting than it would be for her to just get over it.

Also, what do you mean by "as long as it doesn't go past flirting"? Are you implying that that's a real possibility in your case?

[Rachmaninoff]

Personally I think it's fine. However, only if the people involved and others know it's just joking around. It sounds like this girl either doesn't know you well enough to know you weren't serious (or were you?) or you were going a little overboard.

Fun or not, it's not worth hurting someone's feelings over and I'd definitely talk to the girl to clear it up. Even if you and the others are fine with it, she may be uncomfortable with it. Though I imagine that's the case since she got upset.

[Akieen Cloud]

[FONT="Century Gothic"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="Navy"]Well he did reassure her, letting her know its all fun and games and that it would never go beyond just that, casual flirting. And no it never would, I'm married and DEEPLY in love with my husband. I would never do anything to put that on the line. But any way. I also told her that's all it is, just friendly flirting and jokes like we used to do when me and him went to high school together. that's all its ever been. All it ever will be and she's still flipping her lid over it. Blowing it way out of proportion. Thing is she doesn't trust him. At all. And she really doesn't trust me either, him and I have never gone beyond friends even when we went to school together we both agreed we make better friends than a relationship deal and we weren't willing to risk the friendship we had on that, we have both told her this as well and she's still having a nit fit so I dunno what else to do. I've toned it down to just giving him hugs when we leave the park after hanging out and she says I'm hanging all over him so I dunno what to do anymore, and the thing with the hugs, he gives them to me before I even get into my car. So how I'm the one hanging on him I'll never know...I guess some people just see things REALLY differently than others eh?[/COLOR][/FONT][/FONT]

[onigiriroll]

I don't think it's wrong. Just so long as you two are like, the best of friends and you're not cheating on your husband. But, since you are madly in love with you husband, maybe it won't be a problem. Hope it's not to late to reply:animeswea

[pooperson]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]I flirt with everyone forever, & it gets me into quite a bit of trouble sometimes. Whoops.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[TheResplendent]

[FONT="Tahoma"]The biggest thing to take into consideration here is that everyone is different and will react differently to the same situations as others will. People have opinions on flirting that occur concerning themselves directly that fork from their opinions on it when it concerns those around them, and it all really has to do with the kind of person they are in a relationship.

Your best friend's girl can either be easily observed as at least a little jealous or might simply have something against you personally. I don't know whats going on personally between you two but if there isn't any animosity passed the flirting issue than you just have to take into consideration that she feels this way and since she is the one that is involved with the guy, it would be proper to respect her feelings about it and at least try to come to a means of compromise if you cannot stop flirting completely. If that is your personality type, then just try to cut out a lot of the physical part of interaction. If it is simply a trust issue involving only him, and not really aimed at you, then they need to talk it out amongst themselves and you can honestly omit yourself from that whole situation since you don't need to suffer any of the stress or consequences of that whole ordeal. If you still want to flirt with him, then do it discreetly until they work out their crap. But the stress that you can come into by not even being involved in the real issue at hand between them is something you definitely do not want, and more importantly do not need.

It seems like this is the first kind of this situation you've run into so it is safe to assume you've acted as such before and everything had been ok, so it isn't really fair to question whether or not flirting amongst friends is ok in general. As long as you know when and where is right, who it's affecting and how it is affecting them. Much more discretion is involved in flirting when it pertains to your friends. Not like with someone you just meet in a bar or club.

I have been through essentially every type of what flirting amongst friends can transition to. I've made out with friends, slept with friends, just flirted a little, though have never done anything more than flirt or rudimentary contact (hug, kiss on the cheek, pat on the back, etc etc) with a friend who had a boyfriend at the same time. Some were fine with it, some felt weird after everything. It all comes down to the specific person's feelings. No reason you should not do it at all if you want to, if there is nothing going on intimately or romantically with you and someone else or your friend and someone else otherwise. So flirting in general is perfectly fine, there is no way in hell i would stop. Most situations when concerning friends just need discretion, as I said.

Another example to help explain a little better what might be going on in her head, my current g/f could really give less of a damn if i flirt with another girl. She is very lenient to the point where depending on the girl she wouldn't even mind if we kiss in front of her. However, every time it came to my ex before her (we still hung out for a few months while i was with my current g/f) she wouldn't even tolerate her with her hand on my shoulder and got upset if i [i]didn't[/i] get upset at her attempts at flirting. The reasons for this being that she had past boyfriends cheat on her because of exes trying to still be friends...though honestly they never really got along to begin with. So it is also very possible that your friend's girl has had a history of things going wrong due to another girl just doing some "harmless" flirting. Not necessarily an ex like with me, but the concept is what i'm trying to make clear...that she wants to avoid a potential repetition. One thing that goes wrong in the midst of otherwise acceptable allowances can ruin the entire mindset. Occurrences in past events is the most popular reasoning for trust issues to develop aside from poor self-esteem. Unfortunately since you are only the role of friend and nothing more, it would be right to respect their relationship. It isn't what you have to do, but in case you were wondering the best way to approach it.

Hope that helps a bit, good luck.[/FONT]