A Densha Otoko Type Forum

[mryekcim]

Hello. I know this might be ignored by many but at least hear me out. I just finished watching Densha Otoko and i kinda a problem on my own that i need help. We all can't get lucky and protect a beautiful person on a train from a drunk man. My is that there is a beautiful girl and im an average otoku. The ones you see in book stores reading the manga, watches anime at every chance i get and my favorite songs are mainly anime opening or endings. She is way out of my league. Shes 2 levels of math ahead and top of our class. We are friends but i like her. She fill my heart with joy just the thought of her. I need help to find a way to win her heart. If you can help that would really be appreciated.

[CaNz]

well... from what you say... prepare for failure... the way you are right now is probably not what she is looking for.
if she really means that much to you... you might have to change a bit of your lifestyle to better suit hers.

she is pretty, so start working out. shes looking good for a reason, you need to do the same.
math seems to take up a lot of her life, but academics usually is a much broader topic. find out what she what her classes are and try to strive in them to get attention. also, learn how to spell. i refuse to put effort into the little things but that post was barley legible, and no girl is going to fall for a guy they cant even write notes to.

after that its just plain old trial and error until the opportunity arises when shes willing to give you a shot. your being picky, and most people get into relationships because of similarity and good timing. she still has to want to date you for it to work.... you can be perfect for her and still not make it if she finds a boyfriend, has just broken up or is focusing on school. basically there is a ton of variables that real life brings... and manga situations don't depict them at all.

[OMNOMNOMALY]

[font="Garamond"]you'z best not be trollin' [/font]
[quote name='CaNz' date='09 July 2010 - 12:05 PM' timestamp='1278702334' post='696993']
well... from what you say... prepare for failure... the way you are right now is probably not what she is looking for.
if she really means that much to you... you might have to change a bit of your lifestyle to better suit hers.

she is pretty, so start working out. shes looking good for a reason, you need to do the same.
math seems to take up a lot of her life, but academics usually is a much broader topic. find out what she what her classes are and try to strive in them to get attention. also, learn how to spell. i refuse to put effort into the little things but that post was barley legible, and no girl is going to fall for a guy they cant even write notes to.

after that its just plain old trial and error until the opportunity arises when shes willing to give you a shot. your being picky, and most people get into relationships because of similarity and good timing. she still has to want to date you for it to work.... you can be perfect for her and still not make it if she finds a boyfriend, has just broken up or is focusing on school. basically there is a ton of variables that real life brings... and manga situations don't depict them at all.
[/quote]

[font="Garamond"]But in all seriousness, CaNz is right. Pretty much what he told you up there will go for any situation with any girl encounter now or in the future. Take care of yourself, take an interest in what she's interested in, be genuine, give it a chance and don't force it. Life throws curve balls, that's just how it goes.

Stuff tends to happen when you don't expect it to. The thing is, people give you advice like "never change who you are for someone else" which is all well and good and it's true but sometimes if you are [i]really[/i] different like in your case, some adjustments do need to be made not necessarily to who you are but you know what I mean.

There. That is my 2 cents.

Good luck.[/font] Edited July 9, 2010 by Saint Casillas

[CaNz]

i'mz not trolln, imma a box u c!
but i never troll about love saint casillas...
everyone has there own ideas about what to do with someone you don't have much in common with. many people do say be yourself... but i never found that to work unless the person has low self confidence, (love you because they dislike themselves) otherwise people usually cope better with there own tendencies.

people don't have to compromise for the one they love, so long as their interest is perfect for them... or really close to it. other than that... the key to things working out is compromising. if someone wants to change your life drastically in order to cope, it may not be worth it... but if you think the changes are for the better, or are worth it then there is nothing wrong with it. Edited July 9, 2010 by CaNz

[OMNOMNOMALY]

[quote name='CaNz' date='09 July 2010 - 03:05 PM' timestamp='1278713150' post='697003']
i'mz not trolln, imma a box u c!
but i never troll about love Ace... [spoiler]and dont worry, i wont tell anyone you agreed with me[/spoiler]

everyone has there own ideas about what to do with someone you don't have much in common with. many people do say be yourself... but i never found that to work unless the person has low self confidence, (love you because they dislike themselves) otherwise people usually cope better with there own tendencies.

people don't have to compromise for the one they love, so long as their interest is perfect for them... or really close to it. other than that... the key to things working out is compromising. if someone wants to change your life drastically in order to cope, it may not be worth it... but if you think the changes are for the better, or are worth it then there is nothing wrong with it.
[/quote]
[font="Garamond"]I'm not Ace, I'm Anomaly/mapthesoul./Alexa xD

Compromising is (usually) different than changing who you are, so yes. I still agree lol.[/font]

[CaNz]

oops... so many people change there names now... i just cant keep up.

[chibi-master]

[quote name='CaNz' date='09 July 2010 - 03:05 PM' timestamp='1278702334' post='696993']
well... from what you say... prepare for failure... the way you are right now is probably not what she is looking for.
if she really means that much to you... you might have to change a bit of your lifestyle to better suit hers.

she is pretty, so start working out. shes looking good for a reason, you need to do the same.
math seems to take up a lot of her life, but academics usually is a much broader topic. find out what she what her classes are and try to strive in them to get attention. also, learn how to spell. i refuse to put effort into the little things but that post was barley legible, and no girl is going to fall for a guy they cant even write notes to.

after that its just plain old trial and error until the opportunity arises when shes willing to give you a shot. your being picky, and most people get into relationships because of similarity and good timing. she still has to want to date you for it to work.... you can be perfect for her and still not make it if she finds a boyfriend, has just broken up or is focusing on school. basically there is a ton of variables that real life brings... and manga situations don't depict them at all.
[/quote]
I have suddenly gained some newfound respect for you, big brother...

Seriously, though, mryekcim, there's no way to win a girl over if she doesn't like you in the first place. Find that out first. If she does have feelings for you and maybe she's too shy to make a move, go for it. However, if she doesn't feel like that about you, don't try to push her. You'll only make things akward between the two of you.

[Botar]

Flirt with her! not to extreme but subtle. just kinda let her know you like her in a friendly way, and roll with it from there. Girls tend to not like shy guys, so be out there, but not to annoying.

Oh, Its Otaku, not Otoko.

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Botar' date='09 July 2010 - 11:39 PM' timestamp='1278733191' post='697022']Oh, Its Otaku, not Otoko.
[/quote]
Well, no. He was referring to a series called Densha Otoko.

[Botar]

[quote name='chibi-master' date='09 July 2010 - 11:56 PM' timestamp='1278734219' post='697023']
Well, no. He was referring to a series called Densha Otoko.
[/quote]

He said he was an average otoko, is there a difference between otaku and otoko?

[mryekcim]

Thank you for the help full advice. Iv been working out for a month and not a single result. Is it better to workout before going to bed or when you wake up. I only weight 120 pounds and 5'8. My regiment was 50 push ups and 100 sit ups right before i go to bed. As for academics she is more of a logical person and want the AP physics class at my school but we wont know until the summer ends. I feel every time im around her i take a protective role. When guys start to bother her i break it up. Do any of you have any workout advice.As for the spelling i tend to be sloppy writing but im currently working on that now.

[Botar]

Both, work out when you wake up and before you go to sleep, and try to fit it somewere in the middle of the day. Overkill it for best results. You're on your way, son

[Korey]

[size="2"][font="Garamond"]There are several factors that apply towards attracting the girl towards you, but the most important thing is to stand out from the potentially millions of other suitors that approach her on a daily basis. What makes you so special? This can mean many things, such as working out, getting a new fashion style and just embodying a fun and outgoing lifestyle. Ever notice that when you get a new haircut that isn't the norm for you or how if you buy a piece of jewlery or something, that people tend to notice? That's the key principle of standing out. You want to be "That guy" for her, so do things that make her want to be more than just friends with you. Protection is a very loving thing that comes with people who know each other for a long time, but it can also be a dangerous road because you can fall into the "friend zone" and end up seeming more like a big brother than a lover.

Also, if you just confess your feelings and say "Look, I like you a lot.", then there's no need to flirt. You can skip the flirting stage if you know the person really well, because you've already made that emotional connection with them. Now you just need to demonstrate why you're better than everyone else. Be the alpha-male. [/font][/size]

[CaNz]

Magus pretty much hit the nail with that one. you are definitely not the only guy who likes her... so you have to bring something different to the table. I'd just like to reiterate the academic part. get your haircut, and get ripped... but do not drop the books. guys have an innate ability to be happy with a girl that looks good but is as dumb as a rock, but girls are rarely ever that way. get a good grade in physics (i'd help since i loved that subject) and take the rest of the classes seriously. the worst thing that could happen there is you learn something.

[chibi-master]

[quote name='Botar' date='10 July 2010 - 12:11 AM' timestamp='1278735084' post='697025']
He said he was an average otoko, is there a difference between otaku and otoko?
[/quote]
He said he was an average otoku, and I assume he misspelled otaku due to his having just watched Densha Otoko. I highly doubt that he did that on purpose, thinking it was the correct spelling, silly!

And yes, standing out is good. Just don't be obnoxious about it. For example, nothing ridiculous like putting on a pair of cheap sunglasses, sliding across a table and staring her in the eyes. That's just weird. Now, the one thing I'd like to stress at this point: [b]Stalking or strange behavior that could be mistaken for stalking is a no-no.[/b] It doesn't matter how well you know her, do not harass the girl in your attempts to woo her. I have been on the receiving end of this kind of behavior, and it is not pleasant. I ended up cutting all ties with the creeper. If you like her, you obviously don't want that to happen. Edited July 11, 2010 by chibi-master

[CaNz]

yeah... do something classy, like bake her a cake and watch her eat it. =P

but in all seriousness, knowing when to give up is a good habit to have. it has nothing to do with not trying, some battles just cannot be won, and more likely than not you will have many of these. continuing on when a girl has no interest is wasting both peoples time. if for some reason this doesnt work out, realize she is not the only girl you can be with.

[eleanor]

[quote name='mryekcim' date='10 July 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1278738260' post='697029']
Thank you for the help full advice. Iv been working out for a month and not a single result. Is it better to workout before going to bed or when you wake up. I only weight 120 pounds and 5'8. My regiment was 50 push ups and 100 sit ups right before i go to bed. As for academics she is more of a logical person and want the AP physics class at my school but we wont know until the summer ends. I feel every time im around her i take a protective role. When guys start to bother her i break it up. Do any of you have any workout advice.As for the spelling i tend to be sloppy writing but im currently working on that now.
[/quote]

TBQH that is not too great of a regimen. Get weights, start lifting, do cardio. There are several major group muscles, and you should be working them out on a rotating schedule if you want a full-body workout. A simple Google search about "weight lifting" will fill you in on the basic details.

Although, IMO having an awesome body is not really key to getting a girl. Ever notice how you'll see a lot of pretty girls dating less attractive/less-than-average-looking guys? But it's never really the other way around? All girls appreciate a hot looking guy, but I'd say most don't care about it nearly as much as guys care about girls' looks. I mean if a guy is significantly underdeveloped/overweight or unattractive the chances go down significantly, but for average guys. ....Then again I'm from the suburbs of the South so my vision of the average guy may be different from others.

[mryekcim]

Thank you for the help full advice. As for right now I am looking for what sets me apart from the others. I think i almost have it. So far i fell like I am falling in to the friend zone but that's just me. Working out is really hard but its all for her. sorry for the short post i gotta get back to my viola practice.

[chibi-master]

[quote name='CaNz' date='11 July 2010 - 01:38 AM' timestamp='1278826717' post='697090']
yeah... do something classy, like bake her a cake and watch her eat it. =P
[/quote]
MRYEKCIM, IGNORE THIS. CaNz is just trying to get me mad, so do not actually do this! That creeper I mentioned did this and it was one of the last things he did before I cut all ties with him!

I'd listen to eleanor's advice about looks, if I were you. She's right, looks aren't the big deciding factor.

[CaNz]

[quote name='chibi-master' date='11 July 2010 - 07:48 PM' timestamp='1278902933' post='697141']
MRYEKCIM, IGNORE THIS. CaNz is just trying to get me mad, so do not actually do this!
[/quote]
if i dont tease my little sister once and a while, im not doing my job right, but i didnt mean to make you mad .
im pretty sure he knew not to do that one (if not all this was a lost cause) the girls are right in a lot of ways, but i disagree with the looks thing. you do see girls with worse looking men, but you see far more ugly men without girls. find an attractive guy and he always has a girlfriend (this is a generalization, and you may even know of exceptions, but more than likely this is the case)

this is just to get the girl though, and it has no effect on keeping her. thats gotta be you. I dont care what the girls here say to you, if a girl is not attracted to you, you dont have a shot, besides... its good for you.

[eleanor]

[quote name='CaNz' date='11 July 2010 - 11:03 PM' timestamp='1278903784' post='697143']
if i dont tease my little sister once and a while, im not doing my job right, but i didnt mean to make you mad .
im pretty sure he knew not to do that one (if not all this was a lost cause) the girls are right in a lot of ways, but i disagree with the looks thing. you do see girls with worse looking men, but you see far more ugly men without girls. find an attractive guy and he always has a girlfriend (this is a generalization, and you may even know of exceptions, but more than likely this is the case)

this is just to get the girl though, and it has no effect on keeping her. thats gotta be you. I dont care what the girls here say to you, if a girl is not attracted to you, you dont have a shot, besides... its good for you.
[/quote]

My main point is just that looks really aren't THAT important to us. I feel like because in general guys value looks so much, they think girls must, too. But in reality we don't, at least not nearly as much as the average guy. If we think a guy is flat-out unattractive, no, we're not going to want to date him, but if he's average or above there are good chances.

[CaNz]

i agree that a man will marry a girl if she is hot enough... personality seems like such an afterthought to my breed that its disgusting... women seem to focus solely on personality, looks just being a decent thing to have, however i both races are far more willing to start a relationship if they are attracted to one another. the looks thing is [i]only for getting her[/i], after that its weather she really likes you or not.

its like... the relationships that last forever can be the ugliest couples, because they like each other for personality, but its the pretty people that are constantly dating different people and never getting past a month. the key would be to make the nicer guys work out so they get the date, and the pricks need to get ugly so girls don't waste there time on them.

[Korey]

[quote name='CaNz' date='12 July 2010 - 04:03 AM' timestamp='1278903784' post='697143']
if i dont tease my little sister once and a while, im not doing my job right, but i didnt mean to make you mad .
im pretty sure he knew not to do that one (if not all this was a lost cause) the girls are right in a lot of ways, but i disagree with the looks thing. you do see girls with worse looking men, but you see far more ugly men without girls. find an attractive guy and he always has a girlfriend (this is a generalization, and you may even know of exceptions, but more than likely this is the case)

this is just to get the girl though, and it has no effect on keeping her. thats gotta be you. I dont care what the girls here say to you, if a girl is not attracted to you, you dont have a shot, besides... its good for you.
[/quote]

[font="Garamond"]Bzzt. Wrong. Looks have little to nothing to do with attraction. Obviously you wouldn't date a troll, but the thing that women look for in a man is acceptance. Someone who can accept them wholly for who they are and can provide them with the things that they want or need. Depending on the woman these things may vary, but there are a few universal things (protection, providing for a family, emotional support, or even simply procreation). I read an interesting book about sexual selection called "The Red Queen." and it detailed the specific factors that humans have towards sexual preference in a partner. And looks was one of the lowest deciding factor on the list. Sure, you may think that Halle Berry is hot (I know I do), but that doesn't mean that they fit the criterion that you are actually looking for in a life-partner or even a girlfriend. Looks are really skin-deep. That's why, when selecting a partner, humans try to test each other to get the other person to reveal aspects about themselves in order to see if they fit aforementioned criterion.

I'll use myself as an example. I'm no Brad Pitt, but I believe I have a good personality and display certain alpha-male characteristics (dominant, confident, strong mentally and emotionally) that would set me apart from all the other men in a crowd. The aspect that most people lack in approaching women or anyone in that matter is getting beyond the first initial hurdle of the fear of rejection. You have to realize that it's never personal. Ever. How can you dislike someone you barely even know? Through my experince people will only turn you away if it seems like you're needy and you want something from them (which you do, but I try not to appear that way). So, why not just approach them? [/font]

[chibi-master]

[quote name='mryekcim' date='10 July 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1278738260' post='697029']
I feel every time im around her i take a protective role. When guys start to bother her i break it up.
[/quote]
Be careful with this. Make sure that [i]she[/i] feels bothered, and [i]you're[/i] not just getting antsy because you like her. Otherwise, you could just come off as rude and obnoxious. She might actually like one of those guys and you just may be messing up a dating situation for her.

[quote name='Korey' date='12 July 2010 - 05:00 AM' timestamp='1278925203' post='697165']
[font="Garamond"] How can you dislike someone you barely even know? Through my experince people will only turn you away if it seems like you're needy and you want something from them (which you do, but I try not to appear that way). So, why not just approach them? [/font]
[/quote]
It's not someone he barely even knows, though. According to him, they're friends. I don't know how close of a friendship they have, but admitting romantic feelings could possibly ruin a friendship of any kind.

[mryekcim]

I got some what good news. She asked if we could hang out. I don't know if it means strait to the friend zone or not but it feel nice. I cant drive yet but my permit test is in two days. I don't know what to do. Is it a date or just really hanging out? a little help please.