Fortune Cookies

[Maully]

[color="#2E8B57"]I love fortune cookies. While I never put any stock in them, I think they are totally fun. Not only are they fun to read into but also to play stupid games with like "in bed" or ridiculous things like that; The week I got married I got a fortune cookie that said, " the love of your life will carry you through anything." even though I'm divorced now, that fortune is still on my fridge. My favorite fortune ever, [i]ever[/i] was one that said, "Today is a disasterous day. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." My ex-husband had one taped to the front of his bass guitar that said, "All is not yet lost."

What are some of your favorite fortunes, or ones that you'd like to see? I personally like the thought of opening a fortune cookie and it saying, "DUCK!" or, "Don't look behind you."
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[CaNz]

well i work in a Chinese food restaurant so i have had many, but mine never seem to be that great. however other people i know have gotten some good ones. One customer in particular i looked at while cleaning the table. the customer was a fat middleage white man, and his cookie said "a Handsome Admirer has his eyes on you." I understood why he didn't leave a tip.

my cousin is an interesting case... he usually gets fortunes that are either lame or sound bad. the top two i can remember are "you may win a contest" (pick something as broad as possible, then say 'may' to make sure that even if the person never wins anything you'd still be right)
and "your joy is your sorrow unmasked" (does that mean what makes you happy is really being sad? or is it that the things you thought made you happy really lead you to depression?) its such an odd fortune... and actually a little unsettling i'm sure.

[Raiha]

[font="Times New Roman"][size="3"][color="#9932cc"]The worst fortune cookies are the ones that give you advice, rather than a hilarious and funny fortune. I.e. Eat vegetables and get sleep for a healthy life!

My best two fortune cookies were received in the presence of friends. The first was when I was having lunch with a firefighter friend and the fortune read:

[size="4"]"The World Will Soon Be Ready To Receive Your Talents!"[/size]

The second and by far the most hilarious fortune came to me when I was having a dinner date with a friend that didn't turn out to be the one referred to in the fortune. However it did come one month before I met my current boyfriend.
[size="5"]
"You are on the verge of something big."
[/size]

Go figure.
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[chibi-master]

I got my favorite fortune when I was 8 years old and I still have it. It says, "You like to use your imagination." I know it's kind of stupid, but I have a lot of pride in my imagination, so I love it.

I'm having Chinese food tomorrow, so I'll be back.

[Botar]

[quote name='chibi-master' date='11 July 2010 - 11:33 PM' timestamp='1278905623' post='697149']
I got my favorite fortune when I was 8 years old and I still have it. It says, "You like to use your imagination." I know it's kind of stupid, but I have a lot of pride in my imagination, so I love it.

I'm having Chinese food tomorrow, so I'll be back.
[/quote]

i want one that says banana. lol

[Korey]

[quote name='Botar' date='12 July 2010 - 05:49 AM' timestamp='1278906581' post='697151']
i want one that says banana. lol
[/quote]

[font="Garamond"]My buddy Lance once got a fortune cookie that was misspelled.[/font]

[Pleiades Rising]

Ah, the solemn and esoteric wisdom that only a cookie could hand out. I know I've had some really terrible ones that would make Charlie Brown feel right at home (something like "Everything is against you, but cheer up!"), but I did get some good ones. I think I still have one or two saved, so I'll go dig 'em out. Huh, the only one I saved was the Charlie-Brown fortune: "If it seems the fates are against you today, they probably are." I suspect I saved it because my pessimistic side rejoiced, and it made me all giggly inside. What can I say? Some fortunes seem to be written by angry German nihilists, and that makes me know I'm at home.

[chibi-master]

Today I got a fortune that says, "From now on your kindness will lead you to success."

[Pleiades Rising]

Actually, I remember a better one (which, for some reason, I didn't save): "The speed of the leader determines the pace of the pack." That was one I could agree with. Such fine words from a cookie.

Also, I wonder how some of those little aphorisms go down after a meal. Imagine having a business lunch with some potential clients, and you get something like, "Things are not going your way, so look for other avenues for profit!"

[PiroMunkie]

[color="#A0522D"][font="Arial"]I usually forgo the fortune, smother the cookie in sweet and sour sauce and stick the whole thing in my mouth ... then look around and see if anyone wants theirs, lol.

I love those things.[/font][/color]

[Nony]

Last time I got a fortune cookie, it said something about me having good luck in the real estate business.

... what.

[Heaven's Cloud]

[color=indigo]I always thought it would be great to own a fortune cookie company just so I could put really dark fortunes in cookies. Here are a few ideas:

"You will die shortly"
"Next year you will be audited by the IRS"
"Your spouse is sleeping with your sibling"
"A broken condom doesn't just lead to a bundle of joy"
"The cadmium in the Happy Meal toy from McDonald's that you keep on you desk has given you prostate cancer"
"Your lucky number is none"
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[PiroMunkie]

[quote name='Heaven's Cloud' date='25 July 2010 - 10:06 AM' timestamp='1280070382' post='697861']
[color=indigo]I always thought it would be great to own a fortune cookie company just so I could put really dark fortunes in cookies. Here are a few ideas:

"You will die shortly"
"Next year you will be audited by the IRS"
"Your spouse is sleeping with your sibling"
"A broken condom doesn't just lead to a bundle of joy"
"The cadmium in the Happy Meal toy from McDonald's that you keep on you desk has given you prostate cancer"
"Your lucky number is none"
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[/quote]
[color="#A0522D"][font="Arial"]http://www.cookiemisfortune.com/

You are not alone in that thought.[/font][/color]

[Pleiades Rising]

It shatters my day when I'm eating with family or friends and they get fortunes in their cookies, but mine is empty. I've had that happen to me, and it cast a shadow on my day. I'd rather have gotten something like "You are always wrong" instead of cracking open that cookie goodness to find the empty space of disappointment. It's like having Santa wake you up on Christmas night just to show you the gifts you aren't getting from him.

[Heaven's Cloud]

[quote name='PiroMunkie' date='25 July 2010 - 03:25 PM' timestamp='1280085915' post='697883']
[color="#A0522D"][font="Arial"]http://www.cookiemisfortune.com/

You are not alone in that thought.[/font][/color]
[/quote]

[color=indigo]Bummer, I didn't think I was alone in this, but I can't believe someone beat me at creating a viable company surrounding it. Maybe they'll hire me on as a freelance evil fortune cookie writer.[/color]

[Inuyasha Fandom]

Starting some bad fortunes?


I'd love to give someone a fortune cookie that reads "That wasn't chicken"

Then again, that's just me being oh so delightfully evil. However, there is the prospect of the awesome fortune. "You will polish shiny golden knobs of joy" [i]in bed[/i]

Yes, I have received that as a fortune. I also received "You will soon see far away and exotic places." Ironically, two months later I moved from illinois to new mexico lol

[Korey]

[quote name='Inuyasha Fandom' date='28 July 2010 - 05:04 PM' timestamp='1280329450' post='698104']

Then again, that's just me being oh so delightfully evil. However, there is the prospect of the awesome fortune. "You will polish shiny golden knobs of joy" [i]in bed[/i]

[/quote]

[font="Garamond"]Get ready for a wonderful and exciting career in the field of professional housekeeping.[/font]

[Gavin]

[font="Tahoma"][size="2"]I think I got fortune cookies for the first time when I was in Australia with my cousins, for some reason Chinese restaurants over here just give you those prawl-flavour crackers.

As far as I remember the fortune was something like "Good fortune is coming your way" and later that night I got polluted drunk and slept with one of my cousin's friends.[/size][/font]

[DeathKnight]

[color=crimson]I dunno about pessimistic fortunes, but I received a fortune one time that asked me in spanish what my favorite ice cream flavor was.

Maybe it was hitting on me.[/color] Edited August 13, 2010 by DeathKnight

[Claire]

[i]"You like horses and gambling, but not to excess! "[/i]

I've had that exact fortune TWICE.

(I also like neither of those things) Edited October 7, 2010 by Tonks

[oxic_berry]

i love fortune cookies ^____^ and i have a fortune cookie story to share too!

i used to work in a chinese restaurant, and had just left two fortune cookies with the check on the table (for two rather good-looking guys *giggle* anyways). a little while later, i hear laughing and they wave me over. apparently the one guy got a fortune in his fortune cookie that said, "do not laugh at other's misfortune" and the other guy broke open his cookie next only to see that there was no fortune!!! XDDD i know, it's slightly stupid, but i thought it was funny :3

[Lozer and Proud]

[font="Palatino Linotype"][quote]Last time I got a fortune cookie, it said something about me having good luck in the real estate business.

... what.[/quote]

I tend to get a lot of fortunes like that. Our favourite chinese restaraunts must buy their fortune cookies from the same place. I also get ones that say something about me traveling the world.

Huh, maybe I'll be able to support my worldly travels with my successful real estate business. I'm one lucky bastard.

Seriously though, despite how cheesy they are, I do love fortune cookies. I'm the one that makes everyone pick their own cookie instead of passing them out to them. If I pass it out it's like I'm picking their fortune for them and there's really no fun in that![/font] Edited October 16, 2010 by Lozer and Proud

[Pleiades Rising]

Just had some Chinese food a couple of days ago, and I saved the fortune (I was thinking of this thread). It reads: "The troubles you have now will pass away quickly." It didn't say, however, if they'd [i]stay away.[/i] Oh yeah, my lucky numbers on that day were 29, 37, 38, 39, 16, 35.