RPG MMD Episode 1 - Night of the Living Emos

[The Tentacle]

The Place - Possum City, a small town in the rural south.

The Time - Around 11 PM on a Friday night.

~

It was quiet, eerily quiet.  Although Possum City was relatively small its streets should have been filled with traffic despite the late hour.  Friday nights usually saw the townfolk winding down after a long week of working by downing large quantites of beer in the myraid of pubs, bars and taverns.  Nothing said "TGIF" like tying one on.

Yet tonight the streets were deserted.  No inebriated drivers wove their way across the four lanes on their way to who-knows-where.  Well, almost none.....

The silence of the night was broken by the sound of a roaring engine as a large vehicle rumbled down the off-ramp and onto Possum City's main drag.  And what a vehicle it was!  It appeared to be a large bus, but not just any bus.  This was one of the short buses that were often associated with transporting "special kids" to school.  In fact, that was what it was called.  The title "Short Bus" was stenciled in large block letters across the bus's side in black paint.  

Yet it was obvious this wasn't a typical short bus.  No, this bus was jacked up a half dozen feet off of the ground on a set of monster truck tires that were even now rolling across the pavement at an unsafe speed.  Black smoke poured out of the twin smokestacks that jutted up from either side of the bus.  The light from the streetlamps were reflected dully in the bull horns that were mounted atop the bus's hood.  

From within the strange looking craft 80's hair metal blasted.  The sound of wailing guitars and red-leather clad singers with poofy hair and questionable sexual orientation poured from its windows as the Short Bus sped down the road towards a brightly illuminated structure in the near distance.  

This well-lit place that stood out in the surrounding darkness was a mecca of capitalism to some and Hell on Earth to others.  If there was any sort of activity to be found in this eerily peaceful town it would be here.  Yes, this place was open for business regardless of holiday, natural disaster or even the Second Coming.

This place was Wal-Mart.

The Short Bus ploughed into the parking lot and ground to a stop in a handicapped parking spot.  In short order its doors swung open and a set of folding stairs extended.  Thick smoke poured from the portal and the music grew even louder for a moment before finally falling silent.  The bus's powerful engine whirred down as the ignition key was turned.  A second later and the vehicle became as still and quiet as the rest of the town.  But the peace was about to be shattered.  Bigtime. 

With heavy footfalls the driver of the Short Bus stepped out into the night and set foot upon the cursed terrain.  He was a massive man, heavily muscled and shaggy haired.  The horns that graced his helmet jutted out like a pair of phallic symbols, heralding his masculinity.  His eyes blazed with the intensity of the village he'd just burned down not more than an hour ago.  

The ground seemed to tremble and the moon chose that moment to hide itself behind a passing cloud as the most hardcore, badass, manliest man in existence made his debut on Otakuboards.

This man was Bear the Viking.

Stretching his powerful arms he straightened his tunic and scratched his ass.  "Hey guys!  What are you waiting for?  Christmas?"  He roared through the still open doors at the Short Bus's other occupants.  

"Let's go SHOPPING!"

[b](OOC - Okay, the MMD has begun.  Just make your character introductions and then I'll move the story forward.)[/b] Edited August 1, 2010 by The Tentacle

[Inuyasha Fandom]

"Christmas? Please. You MUST be joking. I'll be making my appearence when ever the hell I feel like it.."

A woman stepped down, her high heeled boots clacking down the stairs. She was quite the sight to behold, and looked so far out of place she appeared to be a normal association with the Short Bus. Her kimono fluttered in the light breeze, and she jumped the last few stairs. "Let's try NOT to burn this place down, too..." Sighing, she looked on at Bear. "We should strive for class..." Looking on at Wal-Mart, she sighed. "Who the hell am I kidding... It's a damn Wal-mart."

Her eyes scanned the front of the building, and found it to be lacking in... well, everything. Wrinkling her nose, she sighed, and smacked the underside of the bus. "Get a move on!"

[Elk]

Plain Dane the Useless stepped off of the Short Bus. He didn't particularly like to be riding the "Short Bus", as it was associated with being "special", and if there was one thing that Plain Dane was, it certainly wasn't "special", in any way.

His assassin's hood was pulled low over his head, shading his eyes from view.

He didn't like Wal-Mart very much either. Wal-Mart was the embodiment of evil. He remembered, once in an English class he had taken, watching a documentary all about the evil of Wal-Mart. Sure, it offered cheap prices, but at what cost? It wasn't a pretty sight, what Wal-Mart did behind the scenes, but when you were a poor as dirt worthless assassin who couldn't use his skills for much of anything, you found ways to cut corners.

Even if that ment having to endorse your worst enemy.

There was a woman... At least he thought it was a women, but at times there seemed to be a tell-tale buldge in her crotch, was mumbling something to herself.

Plain Dane palmed his forehead, his hand disappearing in the shadows of his hood. He was surrounded by idiots. All the had ever wanted to do was major in something deep, like philosphy or pshycology, but no, he [i]had[/i] to be the [b]only[/b] son of the world's greatest assassin. His education had not been what he wanted.

Heaving a great sigh, as if it was one of the greatest efforts to move the air in and out of his lungs, Plain Dane the Useless looked up into the evil he knew in his heart as Wal-Mart. Edited August 2, 2010 by Elk

[The Tentacle]

"I'm not gonna burn it down."  Bear sighed, rolling his eyes.  It was a tempting thought but if he set Wal-Mart ablaze where was he going to spend all of the gold he'd just stolen from that now-smoldering village?  

Bear began to walk towards the entrance, a heavy sack of gold jingling at his waist.  All around him lay a scene of total destruction.  Unlike the highway the parking lot was filled with cars.  But they weren't parked on orderly rows.  No, most of them were strewn around haphazaradly.  Some had obviously been crashed, others were turned over on their rooves and others still were on fire.

The Viking didn't think anything of it.  After all, this was the Wal-Mart parking lot.  It was always like this.

"Hmmm...."  He muttered to himself as the gears of thought began to grind within his head.  "I guess I [i]could [/i]burn it down after I'm done."  The Viking thought to himself.  A plan was beginning to form within the recesses of his mind.  Images of the store being sacked and razed played out before his mind's eye.  

"I could save a crap ton of cash that way."  Bear realized.  But before he could ride that train of thought into the station he was distracted by movement coming from beneath a burned out street lamp.  

From the shadows shambled a ragged figure clad entirely in black.  Bear glanced irritably at the person.  He couldn't tell if it was a male or female due to the thick curtain of oily hair that obscured its face.  But that didn't matter right now.  The angry Viking had just been on the cusp of having a good idea when whoever that was had derailed his train of thought.  Man or woman, they were about to take an ass-whipping.

"Muuuhhhh".  The black-clad figure moaned as they shuffled closer.  They were near enough now that Bear could make out the logo of some underground grunge rock band printed on their shirt.  "Sssnnnfff, uhhhh."  The figure groaned again.  

To Bear it sounded like they were crying.  The sound of anguish extinguished the rage that was beginning to burn in Bear's mighty heart.  In the face of a stranger's pain he did what any other person would have done in his place.

"Bwahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!  Go cry emo kid!  Ah hahahahahahaaaa!"  Bear began to guffaw, pointing his meaty finger right into the person's tear-streaked face.  "OMG you're sooooooo lame!  Guahahahaaaaa!  What the Hell is your problem anyway?  You're boyfriend kick you to the curb or something?  Haaaaahahahaa!!!"

Bear was so intent upon agitating the emo that he didn't notice said emo's mouth yawn open, hovering dangerously close to his outstretched finger.  It wasn't until his finger was firmly clasped between the emo's unbrushed teeth that his laughter ended.  

"Ah hah haaaaa......AAAAHHHHH!"  Bear howled in pain.  Suddenly his rage returned and he snatches his hand out of its mouth.  That hand returned a second later to clamp down around the emo's neck like a vice.  His other hand shot out, grabbing a handful of crotch and crushing it with all of his might.  With a grunt of exertion Bear lifted the emo off of the ground, holding it briefly above his head before ramming it headfirst into the pavement.  The emo's skull splattered with a satisfying sensation of crunching bones and squishing gray matter.

"Hmph, s'what you get."  Bear muttered as he stalked away from the body, leaving it to cool in the chilly night air.  The emo's body jerked spasmodically and then fell still.  With the vilence past silence rapidly flowed in to reclaim the night.

A sound like metal scraping against pavement heralded Bear's return.  The Viking was dragging an uprooted stop sign across the parking lot.  He came to a halt, towering over the emo's corpse for a moment, glaring down at it.  Then, hefting the sign like an axe, he began pounding the corpse over and over with the sign's face until the emo's remains resembled something akin to a wet prune.

With a grunt of satisfaction Bear tossed the sign aside.  "Now uh, what was I getting ready to do again?"  He mumbled.  He glanced around in confusion and his eyes scanned across the Wal-Mart sign.  "Oh, right. Shopping!"

The dead and dismembered emo was already forgotten as Bear set out for the entrance again.  Motion from the left and right drew his attention.  It seemed that a lot of people were headed his way all of a sudden.  "Oh man, must be one Hell of a sale going on tonight."  He reckoned as he pushed his way into the store.

Had Bear bothered to look more closely at the people in the crowd he would have realized that each and every one of them was also clothed from head to toe in black clothing and sporting a head of lank, greasy hair.  The sound of weeping and moaning mingled with morbid poetry and breathy whispers as the horde of emos shuffled after the Viking and his friends.

"Damn but that smarted."  Bear sighed as he glanced down at his finger.  The emo's teethmarks were surrounded by swollen flesh that was beginning to turn purple.  "Now I've got a bruise.  I hope it's not infected." Edited August 1, 2010 by The Tentacle

[Elk]

When the emo child had first come out from the shadows, Plain Dane had drawn his sword.

That is, he had [i]tried[/i] to draw his sword. It was stuck and wouldn't budge out of its sheath. This made Dane extremely cross and he had struggled for a good three minutes with the sword before giving up, by which time Bear had already dealt with the emo child.

Just his luck. The weakest of opponents had manifested before him, for surely even [i]Plain Dane the Useless[/i] could defeat an emo child, and he hadn't been able to draw his sword.

Nevermind that he had various other knick-knacks in his arsenal. He hadn't thought of his hidden blade, nor any of his various throwing knives or poision darts, which was just as well anyway, since he couldn't throw for what a bag worth of elephant dung was worth.

He had followed Bear into the Wal-Mart, noticing all the emo children who were flooding in with them. What did emos like, that could drive them here in droves?

Panic! At the Disco? My Chemical Romance? New Hair Products? Maybeline's new lone of ultra water-proof eyeliner?!

Plain Dane didn't know. He wasn't emo. He wasn't much of anything.

He just sighed again and continued to follow Bear, muttering "I know this is a bad idea." Edited August 2, 2010 by Elk

[Inuyasha Fandom]

Saio looked around Walmart, and with every turn she was met with more emo kids. She came upon a group of emos near the cosmetics section, though none of them seemed to be moving.

So Saio removed her Dildonator 5000 from her kimono underside. Four feet long, lighting up in brilliant neon rainbow colors, and letting off a sound like a chainsaw would, Saio swung the dildonator with all her might, sending the horde of emo kids through the shelving.

"Wah wah wah..." She muttered. "Go eat some anti-depressants..." Looking on at the make-up, she picked up several lipstick tubes, and looked them over She examined blush, foundation, powders, and anti-aging cream. Behind her, the emo kids were beginning to stand, and surround her.

"Crap...." Saio turned to face them, their lamenting and bad poetry causing Saio's ears to bleed. Screaming, she fell to her knees. "God... make it stop!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" One of them cried, wailing at the top of its lungs. It really didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl, it still wore eyeliner. Saio managed to stand, and picked up the dildonator and shoved it down the emo's throat. "SHUT THE **** UP!" Saio delivered a high heeled kick to another's forehead, impaling it with her heel. Twirling around, Saio smacked the other emos managing to remove her dildonator and heel from the other two. Finally, Saio could smile. Wiping the blood from both her ears and heels, Saio happily made her way over to the electronics section, where she was blasted with more wailing.

"Maybe I should be the one to burn the damn place down..." Saio thought, annoyed with the many emos. "Where'd my special friends go?" Looking around, she didn't see them. "Screw 'em." Removing what appeared to be a large, silicone boob from her kimono sleeve, Saio pinched the nipple and threw it into a mass of emo kids and electronics. Turning, she smiled, and relished the explosion as emo kid body parts flew around her. along with fragments of broken CDs and televisions.

"That should get their attention." Edited August 2, 2010 by Inuyasha Fandom

[Elk]

An arm hit Plain Dane.

In the face.

The arm wasn't attached to a body. Slightly stunned and grossed out, but used to these kind of things happening already, he steadied himself and continued walking to the home decor section. He needed some more towels for one of his safe houses.

He had heard an explosion come from somewhere inside the Wal-Mart, but it didn't concern him much. These things were becoming quite normal with the new friends he had found.

Staring at the shelves of towels before him with a scowl, Plain Dane picked out a single pale blue one.

"There are [i]so[/i] much more choices at [i]Bed Bath and Beyond[/i]." Plain Dane grumbled as he took his blue towel and headed towards the entertainment section.

Suddenly, there was a single emo child before him. Obviously this one had become seperated from the rest of the tribe because there was nothing in the Wal-Mart home decor section that was even slightly emo-ish.

Plain Dane drew his sword, and this time it actually came out of its sheath! Excited, Plain Dane slashed at the emo kid. Luckily, emos are not the lightest on their feet, and although Dane's thrust was clumsy and made him loose his footing, it connected with the emo child and set him to wailing all the harder.

Plain Dane paniced and tried to run his blade through the emo kid's gut, but his aim was so horrible, he instead got it through the emo kid's throat.

The wailing stopped.

"Well... Whatever works." Dane wiped his blade clean with a towel and continued to walk towards the entertainment section.

[The Tentacle]

[b](EDIT:  Oops, I was posting at the same time Elk was.  Lemme edit my post a little.)[/b]

As Bear entered the store he was greeted by the flat voice and fake smile of a door greeter.  "Welcome to Wal-Mart."  A fifty-something woman with gray hair and dull, lifeless eyes recited mechanically.


"Wal-mart?  This....is....SPARTA!"  Bear roared, planting his foot in the woman's chest and sending her rocketing back several feet.  She fetched up on the floor in a motionless heap.  Bear was about to gloat when a thought occurred to him.  "Oh wait, this IS Wal-Mart.  My bad..."

Gathered around him were a handful of emos who were looking up at him with sad expressions in their eyes.  "Harsh man."  One of them grumbled.  "So much anger."  Another sighed.  "We feel your pain man."  A third whimpered.  The Viking ignored them all and instead turned to his two friends.

"Dane, there you are.  But where'd Saio go?"  Bear asked, digging into his sack of gold and pulling out a handful of coins.  "Doesn't matter.  Here, go buy us something nice with your cut of the loot.  I'm going to the beer isle." He said, pouring the money into Dane's hands.

By now emos were gathering around the fallen form of the door greeter like flies hovering over a dead fish.  Then, as one, they descended upon her body in a sobbing, whining mass.  "Aaaaaaieeeee!"  The old woman shrieked. But the sound of her screaming was drowned out by a sudden explosion.

"I think I found Saio."  Bear said, trotting off in the direction the sound had come from.  When he reached the electronics section a scene of total carnage greeted his eyes.  Bodies lying everywhere, wreckage everywhere, stuff on fire.  Bear grinned from ear to ear.  "Hey!  I want in on this action too!"

A few loping strides brought Bear to the side of a fallen emo who was beginning to stir.  Reaching down the Viking hefted the pathetic creature from the floor.  The emo's eyes stared into his soul as it was raised face-to-face with Bear.  "My soul, it swims in darkness.  Agony is the air I breathe."  It whimpered.

"Nice poem kid.  Want to hear a haiku I wrote?"  Bear asked.  

          [i]I feel rage and hate!                                                                                                                                                       You are about to get served                                                                                                                                           Like a volleyball.[/i]

Whether from the masterful wording of Bear's haiku or due to his unstable emotions the emo began to cry.  He would have cried all the harder if he'd realized that the Viking's poem wasn't just a poem; it was an actual threat.

Tossing the emo up into the air Bear pulled his other fist back and then brought it rocketing forward into the emo's gut.  "VIKING PUUUUUUUUNCH!"  Bear yelled as his latest victim went flying backwards into a display case full of cell phones.

"Ha hahahahaaaa!  Hey Saio, did you see how far he flew?"  Bear guffawed.  But when he looked back to see if Saio was listening to him he realized that he hadn't been the only one who had come to investigate the explosion from earlier.  The door greeter stood in the forefront of a large group of emos who were gathering outside of the electronics section.  At least Bear thought it was her.  She looked a little different from before, what with her uniform turning black and her hair now hanging down in her face.

Reaching into his belt Bear withdrew his warhammer and flipped it end over end before catching it deftly with the opposite hand.  "Oh?  Looking for some action too eh?  Well, I think we can oblidge ya!"  

Shooting Saio a fierce grin the Viking prepared for some serious emo bashing.

[b](OOC - I love writing action sequences so this is the obligatory fight scene for this episode.  Just go nuts and maybe show off a little.)[/b]

     Edited August 2, 2010 by The Tentacle

[ExcelExcel]

Anya stepped into the building, ignoring all of the emos. The actual girls eyeballed her, and began to sniffle and groan. "Why can't I have tits like that?"

"Because you're a whiny ***** who can't afford them." She replied, which only made the girl begin to cry.

"Oh my god..." Pulling her handgun out from her purse, she blasted a round into the girl's head. The crying stopped.

Wandering around, she spotted what she needed, though it was surrounded by emo kids.

Tampax. A woman's most trusted friend.

She walked over to the shelf, though the sad expressions on their faces turned to tears -again- when she bumped into one. The emos began to whine "That was our friend... she was so full of life."
Anya snorted and pulled out her whip. The emo kids were beginning to whimper, and beginning to advance on her. A distant explosion rocked the ladies hygine section, causing the Emos to loose their footing. Taking the opportunity, she cracked her whip across the back of one of the emos.... and [i]BROUGHT A SMILE TO HIS FACE.[/i]

"Ungh... it hurts so good..."

"That'll be $19.95 for solving all your emotional problems." Anya said, though she didn't have a chance to collect. The emos were standing again.... Ready to come after her. "Where's Saio when you need him?"

She clammored up the shelves, causing the Emos to stop and stare at her now exposed lacy black panties. "So nice... I'll never have one..." one of them said. Realizing it was her panties that they saw, she looked down. They were all nearly identical, what with all of that eyeliner and natty hair. Managing to stand on top of the shelf, she cocked her gun. "You fuckers are dead... Looking up my dress..."

[i]BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM![/i]

[Inuyasha Fandom]

Saio sighed, and proceeded with Bear to kick emo ass.

Saio raced foreward, swinging his mighty dildonator. Left and right, Saio bashed emos away. Finding a break in the action, Saio withdrew a boot from her kimono.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" She screamed, and nearly orgasmed when the boot smashed through an emo's head. Gunfire came to her attention, and he looked off torwards the tampon isle. "Anya...." Removing another titty grenade from her kimono sleeve, she tossed it behind him ever so casually. Another explosion ensued, and the sound of Bear fighting was uninterupted.

"Hey, I'm gonna go help Anya!"

Saio happily threw more and more tits, as more and more emo kids came out from behind clothing and shoe displays. "Dude! How many of these brats are there?" she asked out loud.

Saio wasn't paying attention when she walked right into someone, a rather large someone. Falling back on her ass, Saio looked up at what she had bumped into.

His eyes grew wide with the sudden realization he had just walked into the most terrifying emo possible.

[b]The Gothopotamus.[/b]

Saio scrambled to get away from it, though it only advanced on him faster. A massive, gender questionable woman(?) pounded the ground at Saio. The tiles cracked under her feet she was so large. Her face was streaked with mascara, and her lipstick was already smudged. Around her face was an obvious wig, black and red hairs of synthetic fibers never did look all that appearling... they were nightmares. Tangles, ratty messes.....And those pigtails were murder on the already sad looking front.....

[i]
"Don't run! I need a friend!Be my only friend! Join me forever!"[/i]

Saio screamed like a four year old little girl. [b]The Gothopotomus[/b] shook the floor with everystep. "I'm not beautiful....But I'm good at cutting myself! Let's see how much you bleed too!"


OOC: We have to bold [b]THE GOTHOPOTAMUS[/b].... because it make it that much more scary lol Edited August 3, 2010 by Inuyasha Fandom

[ExcelExcel]

Turning her head, Anya heard a blood curdling scream. At her feet were the exploded remains of the emos.

Sighing, she lept from shelf to shelf, to find Saio screaming as The Gothoptomus moved to attack. Jumping down, she simed her gun, blasting away as she approached Saio. The Gothopotomus simply shook itself, and the tink tink tink of bullets hitting the floor could be heard.

"It's tough..." she remarked. "She held her hand out to Saio to help him up, her gun still aimed at The Gothopotomus.

"Think we can take it on?" She asked.

[Inuyasha Fandom]

"As long as I have company when we get killed."

Taking her hand, he stood to ready himself against this monstrousity.

"Anya and Saio... Kicking ass anf taking down names later!" he yelled. He grasped his dildonator tightly, anc charged into battle. Immediately, emos began to come out of hiding, mostly from behind [b]The Gothopotomus.[/b]

Saio swung his mighty weapon, fighting his way through the emo kids. "ANTI-DEPRESSANT POWER!" Saio lifted up his kimono, flashing them all. "So... Beautiful...." The emo's said, and for once stopped staring to marvel at his underside.

[The Tentacle]

Bear stood glaring hotly at the horde of emos who were shambling closer and closer to him with each passing breath.  Suddenly the big Viking launched into motion.  "BATTERING RAAAAAM!"  He roared as he lowered his head and charged straight into the heart of the group.

Bear's momentum carried him through the emos like a bulldozer, crushing their smaller bodies between his girth and the checkout counter that stood behind them.  As Bear stepped back the emos toppled like dominos in one big heap. Without waiting for a single one of them to rise to their feet the Viking climbed atop the counter and removed his cloak.  Twirling the thick fabric over his head he let loose a wild battle cry and flung himself into the air.  Bear's weight crashed down in the center of the emos, crushing them yet a second time.

Pulling himself out of their midst Bear stood back to admire his handiwork.  The black-clad bastards lay in a sprawled heap, moaning and crying in misery.  The Viking should have found the whole affair amusing to no end and yet, for some reason, he didn't feel like laughing.  

With a shake of his head Bear turned to find someone else to clobber.  Standing a short distance away was an emo who gazed in horror at the sorry state of his compatriots lying on the floor.  His hand was raised, gesturing in their direction.  His mouth opened and closed but no sound, save for a hoarse gasping, came out.

"Oh, sorry kid.  C'mere.  You need a hug."  Bear addressed him, holding out his arms for an embrace.  The emo smiled sadly and rushed forward, expecting to be comforted.  Instead he found Bear's fur-trimmed boot rising up straight into his nutsack.  "PSYCHE!"  Bear chuckled as the emo doubled over in pain.  The Viking hefted his hammer and brought it crashing down on the back of the emos skull, dropping him to the floor to join his fellows.

But once again Bear wasn't amused by the random act of violence.  In fact he was starting to feel a little bad for all these poor kids.  Wasn't life painful enough without having to hurt people?  

And why the Hell did his finger hurt so bad all of a sudden?

Bear went to retrieve his cloak from where he'd tossed it aside.  He picked it up and was about to throw it back over his shoulders when he realized it wasn't his cloak at all.  Or was it?  Peering closer Bear decided that it was but he clearly recalled it being a lighter shade of brown.  

The cloak that he was holding was so dark that it was almost black.

[Inuyasha Fandom]

Saio gasped... his ultimate flash move wasn't working!

"Anya! There's something off with these emos!" he yelled, and then looked at them all, still moving forward but mezmerized by him.

He'd gotten attention alright.

"MAN MEAT!" [b]The Gotopotomus [/b]screamed, now having seen Saio was a man. Saio screamed as [b]The Gothopotomus[/b].charged.

[Elk]

Plain Dane was very confused. He had taken his towel and gone off to find the others. He hadn't been able to locate Bear, but he had found Saio and Anya quick enough by following the screams and the carnage.

What he saw before him was horrible. It was the fabled [b]The Gothopotomus[/b], which was confusing him for two reasons: 1) he thought they were extinct and 2) the grammer required to address [b]The Gothopotomus [/b]was sometimes horrendous.

In his confusion, Plain Dane hurt himself, much like a pokemon in the GameBoy games. Luckily, all his fingers were still attached as he drew his hidden blade. What was it his father had said about it? It was only for sword fighting, not close range assasination? No, no that didn't seem right. He withdrew his hidden blade and withdrew his sword.

Plain Dane smiled and charged at [b]The Gothopotomus[/b] right as the beast was charging at Saio, but the mighty beast roared at him and he stopped dead in his tracks.

He raised an eyebrow.

"[i]Oh ****[/i]." Edited August 5, 2010 by Elk

[ExcelExcel]

Anya looked over and saw Dane there, he wide eyed at the beast before him.

Anya pulled out her whip from her hand back, cracking it against the monster's back. Unfortunately, there was no response. Anya stood there, shocked. "No one can resist my love lashes!"
[b]
The Gothopotamus[/b] Charged, warbling at the top of its fat encased lungs. Anya looked down, and at her high heels. Did she really want to have the chance of losing them, deep within the many fat folds of the beast? Did she truely want to lose her shoes?

The answer was yes. It would be an excuse to get some new ones, and at the expense of Wal-Mart.Taking a running jump, she lifted off of the ground, moving in to slam her foot into the back of its head.

But, her calculations were off. A lot. She dropped down, plowing into the fat of the monster, and suddenly she was neck deep into the soft and wrinkled flesh of its generous fat. Under her, she could feel the many M&Ms and Hershey bars that had become lost within the skin of [b]The Gothopotamus.[/b]

"HELP ME!" she yelled, unable to get free. "Help me before I'm forced to use my PMS!" Edited August 5, 2010 by ExcelExcel

[The Tentacle]

A loud roar from nearby attracted Bear's attention.  "That's got Saio written all over it."  The Viking muttered as he began trotted in the direction the noise had come from.  Of course it didn't take him long to locate its source.  The [b]Gothopotamus[/b] was pretty hard to miss.

Seeing Saio, Dane and some hottie he didn't know being threatened by the Behemoth Bear joined the fray.  "I'm gettin' ready to wail on you fat boy!"  He shouted as he dashed in behind the [b]Gothopotamus [/b]and threw all of his weight into a shoulder ram.  If he could unbalance the beast Bear felt confident he could topple it.  

Instead Bear found himself bouncing off of the [b]Gothopotamus' [/b]ass like a pinball.  He tumbled across the floor, the breath finally being driven from his lungs as his back struck a display case.  

Bear knew that he should have been furious about now.  He should have been ready to dive back into the fight and beat the [b]Gothopotamus [/b]like a tent stake.  Instead he was feeling really disappointed and wanting to quit pretty badly.

"Just give up man."  The whiny voice of a nearby emo said from behind the counter.  "It's totally not worth the pain."

Again Bear knew he should be angry and would have probably crushed the emo's head between his asscheeks. But instead he found himself agreeing with him.  "Yeah.  If I try again I'll just fail anyway."  Bear sighed, a tear rolling down his cheek.  

"WTF am I saying?!"  Bear roared, coming to his senses all of a sudden.  He was back on his feet a second later, dashing back into action.  "Hang on gang!  I'mma comin'!"

This time Bear leapt upon the [b]Gothopotamus' [/b]ass, using like a trampoline to propel himself upward.  Seizing a handful of greasy braids in one hand the mighty Viking began raining heavy punches down upon the beast's temple with his other.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh gawd I'm sorry!"  Bear cried with each blow.  "Feel it!  Feel my pain!  Feel it in the blackest pits of your empty soul!" Edited August 5, 2010 by The Tentacle

[Inuyasha Fandom]

Saio snapped to attention at the mention of PMS.

"Oh gods! PLEASE NO!" Saio charged [b]The Gothopotamus[/b], striking it across the head opposite of Bear beating it's face in, all the while screamig about how sorry he was. Saio would deal with his newly emo-sized friend in a moment. On striking the beast, it reeled from the dual blows, falling into a display of bike racks. Saio's eyes widened as he realized the display was toppling over onto the automotive section.

Shelf after shelf of merchandise... all the way to the checkout lanes.

[i][b]CRASH! RUMBLE! SHATTER! CRUNCH! CHEESECRACKER! BOOM! TINK TINK! BOOM! That-one-squeaky-noise-dog-toys-make! BOOM! WHIMPER! HOLY SPOOGE! SCREAM! BOINK! JINGLE![/b][/i] Saio's mouth twitched in an awkward smile. "Oops..."

OOC: I don't care what any of you say. BEST.SOUND.EFFECTS.EVAR! Edited August 5, 2010 by Inuyasha Fandom

[ExcelExcel]

OOC: And just does what noise is it that is the cheesecracker sound? Or do I even want to know, given the other 'colorful' noises?

Anya felt the mighty heave of Saio's dildonator, and she flew of of those fat rolls faster than a fat kid going for rolls.

"Saio! I'm out!" She cried, rolling to a stop on the ground with her ass in the air, in anything but a ladylike position. Looking up, then she saw it... the bike racks.... falling....

The automotive section... the pet food asiles... the toothpaste aisle....the pharmacy.... the make-up aisles....All going to be wrecked thanks to the domino effect.

"Congratulations, Saio, you're DUMBASS OF THE YEAR!" She screamed, still in the position she had landed in. "YOU DESERVE A FREAKING MEDAL FOR THAT ONE!"

Struggling into a sitting position, Anya's hands went into her purse, instinctively reaching for her gun. Thankfully, it was still in her purse. She pulled it out, sat there for a moment, yawned, and then aimed her gun directly behind her.

[i]BLAM![/i]

An emo sunk to it's knees, blood gushing from its cardiac muscles. "Life... is... such.... misery...." It gasped, before falling into a puddle of its own blood, and having spattered the stuffed animals in the toy department.

Anya wriggled her toes, and smiled. Her plan had worked. Wal-Mart officially owed her a new pair of shoes.

Standing, she had no problems blasting away at the crowd gathering around the almighty team and their newcomer. The toy department took a devastating hit, Large holes were blasted through the cheap metal shelving, making them appear with a likeness closer to Swiss cheese than shelves of toys.

"This is fun!" Anya cried. "It's a great way to releive stress!"

[The Tentacle]

"Oh crap."  Bear sighed as the [b]Gothopotamus [/b]lost its footing and fell.  The Viking found himself being dragged down with it.  He threw himself to the side to avoid being crushed beneath its weight and wound up landing in a metal bin filled with clearance priced DVDs.  

Pulling himself free Bear removed a copy of Pootytang from his asscrack and gazed around at the impressive amount of property damage the [b]Gothopotamus [/b]had caused.  The sight should have inspired him to wreak even more havoc but Bear was starting to feel a little apathetic right now.

Mustering the last of his fighting spirit Bear sauntered over to the [b]Gothopotamus'[/b] head and gave it a good whallop with his hammer.  Bear didn't really care if it was alive or dead afterwards.  Instead he was forced to turn his attention to the emos who were gathering around him once again.

Rather than being mobbed by the black mass Bear found himself absorbed by it instead.  It seemed like this was where he belonged now and that made him feel even more depressed.  And if that wasn't enough to draw tears the emos began sobbing for their fallen comrade.  

Suddenly Bear was overcome with the urge to compose some poetry.  It would be a fitting eulogy for the Gothopotamus.  After all, he was partially to blame for its demise.  Spotting a staff-only phone mounted on the wall Bear took up the receiver, dialed out on the PA system and began to recite the emotionally charged words that were beginning to flow from his heart.

"Oh black was the day that I was born!  And each since has plagued me with naught but pain and sadness!  Oh how I lament my birth!  Let me descend once again into the darkness from whence my soul was crafted!"

On and on Bear went.  Tears rolled down his cheeks as the tide of emo poetry continued to pour from his mouth. His words were having a similar effect on the emos as well.  The quiet sound of weeping built into a loud wailing that filled the store.  And still Bear pressed on.

"Life is pain and pain is life!  How then better to perish and leave the world behind!  And yet to die alone is an unbearable sadness.  Would that my end come as a sweet dream from which I would never awake!"

On and on he went, ad nauseum.  The brutal torrent of melancholy poetry went on from what seemed like hours. And when at last Bear could speak no more he turned to thank his new emo friends for listening.

Big mistake.

When Bear turned around he saw that his poem had caused every emo within earshot to commit mass suicide. His words had such influence that each of them had slit their wrists, hung themselves with their own belts or leapt to their doom from the tallest shelf.

"Holy crap.  What the Hell happened here?"  Bear gasped.  It was a morbidly depressing scene and yet the smallest flicker of his former personality remained to delight in his unexpected victory.  This alone gave him just enough courage to resist the urge to cut-cut himself with the head of his axe.

Instead Bear decided to suck it up and try to overcome his emoness.  "I WILL BEAT THIS!"  He roared, feeling a little more like his old self.

"Dude, just give up.  You'll only fail if you try."  An emo gasped with his dying breath.

"Shut up!  I can do this!  I can..."  Bear whined.  He didn't really believe what he was saying but was just too stubborn to give in without a fight.  But how could he undo this curse?  Even a store as well-stocked as Wal-Mart didn't sell a cure for being emo did they?

Suddenly a thought came to Bear.  "A curse?  Hmm...I guess I could ask [b][i]him[/i][/b] for help."

With a sigh of displeasure the Viking stepped over the dead emos and headed for the manager's office at the rear of the store.  He'd need to collect a couple of items before he could carry out his plan.

[Inuyasha Fandom]

Saio tagged along with Bear, curious as to what he was planning. "You know, Bear, I have the cure if you want it.... Instead of doing it the hard way..." He flashed his milllion dollar smile... one Bear should know by now meant he was plotting something evil.

Suddenly, Saio stopped, sidetracked by the metal glint of the rifle display.... He ran at the display case, and found only dead emos guarding the case. Smashing the display case, he grasped one of the combat shotguns and some of its ammo. Locked and loaded, Saio headed for the foods section, in order to accomodate his growing hunger for cheesecake.

"We'll have to stop by my shop when we're done here...

[The Tentacle]

While Saio went in search of food Bear headed for the employee's only section.  He couldn't help but feel a little angsty as he pushed his way through the entrance and made his way, uninvited, into the manager's office.  Feeling that way probably would have made the Viking angry assuming he could still feel angry at all.  That too made him feel angsty, thus catching Bear's mind in a vicious circle of angst, then angst again followed by yet more angst.

Before he could continue in his downward spiral into depression Bear located what he was looking for.  Hanging on the wall of the manager's office was a note board covered in sales figures and a to-do list.  Picking up a marker from a nearby table Bear began to scribble on the board with a shaky hand.

Now it was a well-known myth in the Magical Mystery Dungeon that is someone should write their screenname backwards their evil twin would come into existence somewhere on the Internet.  Of course Bear had tried it the moment he'd heard the rumor.  But the Viking was a pretty rough customer himself so his evil twin couldn't have been much worse.  Right?

Gripping the marker in his sweaty hand Bear scrawled the letters:

[b][size="4"]R - A - E - B[/size][/b]

upon the board.  Then he waited in tense silence for a few moments.  Bear's forehead broke out in a cold sweat and the room fell deathly silent.  

After a few moments the lights began to flicker and the temperature dropped several degrees.  Suddenly Bear's shadow began moving of its own accord, sliding across the floor to pool up several paces away.  The shadow seemed to separate itself from the Viking's body, thickening and writhing upon the floor.

Feeling drained of energy Bear flopped down in the manager's chair, watching intently as his shadow slowly began to rise from the floor.  It grew to the height of a midget, then a woman and then at last to a towering frame of solid black.  

Within the darkness features began to solidify.  First came fleshy arms and a pale face surrounded by slick black hair.  Then the shadows resolved themselves into a long, dark robe and a pair of leather boots.  Finally, as if adding finishing touches, a string of bones and teeth encircled the figure's neck and a macabre helm fashioned from the skull of a horned beast appeared atop his head.

When at last the figure was complete Bear raised his hand in greeting.  "Hiya Raeb, howya doin'?"  He asked.  

Raeb, Bear's evil twin, opened his eyes and peered icily down at the emofied Viking.  "Apparently better than you are.  What the devil happened to you?"  He asked, his voice thick with contempt.

"Got bit by an emo.  I think I'm cursed."  Bear sighed.  "Don't suppose you can help me out can you?"

Raeb glared at the Viking for a moment, making him really uncomfortable.  Then a thin smile born of pure malice began to play across his lips.  

[ExcelExcel]

Anya walked along the empty aisles, stepping over emo corpses.

"I am so not cleaning this up..." she muttered. "Where the hell is Saio?"

She aimed her gun at a televisision hanging up and blasted it, sparks raining down. "Sweet! It's like a pinata!" She began figing her gun into various other televisions, happily playing in the devastation.

Eventually she came to the foods section, and spotted the mother of all tastiness.

Cheese puffs.

[Lilt]

Barra walked along the empty parking lot, passing up a familiar looking bus. She kicked it and kept walking with a mild glare on her face.
Getting inside of Walmart, she stepped over hundreds of emo corpses. Bear and the others were definitely in here somewhere. Barra also had to get some shopping done, but she decided to leave that for later and instead decided to deal with "first things first" as the song had told her to do.

It was the only song on an mp3 player she had found on her trip along the way so she had listened to it over and over as she tracked the bus down to Walmart. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she couldn't get that song out of her head, even though she smashed the mp3 player about halfway back.

Finally, Barra spotted Bear and even though he seemed to be busy and some other weird stuff seemed to be happening, she had to call him out. She couldn't fight him and win of course and she didn't plan to, but she had to get this anger out of her system.

[b]"Bear! You took off while I was in that restroom a few miles back!" She said, pointing at Bear and yelling.[/b]

[b]OOC: Okay, sorry about the wait Tentacle. And just to let you know, Barra was left behind because she took to long in the bathroom. She's back now though and besides that outburst is going to go shopping, unless you want her to be involved with the whole shadow thing that is going on.[/b]