RPG Scott Pilgrim and the Great Big Mess

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[font="Lucida Sans Unicode"][center][IMG]http://a.imageshack.us/img839/8766/gbmheader.jpg[/IMG]

[size="2"][b]"Die, Mr Wright!" [/b]growled a deep, rumbling voice, dripping with anger and venom.

[b]"You'll have to kill me if you want that to happen!"[/b] Phil retorted, steeling himself for the forthcoming battle

[right][font="Lucida Console"][b]NAME: PHIL WRIGHT
AGE: 23
STATUS: PROFESSIONAL SLACKER[/b][/font][/right]

[b]"Prepare to face my awesome wrath!"[/b] his opponent snarled, leaping into action, fists and feet flying. Blows rained down on Phil's raised arms, each one connecting with a hefty [size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"]SMACK[/font][/size] as he blocked his face from the flurry of attacks. He dropped to the floor and swept his leg across with a [size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"]SWISH[/font][/size], but his opponent hopped over the attack and swung a foot towards Phil's face. Phil grabbed it and flipped the opponent backwards. He stumbled as he landed, but maintained his footing.

[b]"Not bad, Mr. Wright. But you'll have to do much better than that to defeat me!"[/b]

[b]"How's this, douchebag?"[/b] Phil replied, hurtling towards his opponent and slamming a fist into his chest, throwing him backwards to the floor, allowing Phil to leap into the air, a knee aimed towards his prone opponent's head. However, his opponent was quick and flipped back onto his feet, dodging the potentially devastating blow and causing Phil's knee to hit the floor with a [size="3"][font="Palatino Linotype"]CRUNCH[/font][/size].

[b]"Your skill is undoubted, but you do not have the discipline to end this!"[/b]

[b]"You two are morons,"[/b] sighed a third voice, and the two warriors turned to face the source of this voice. Their flatmate Alix stood in the doorway to the living room, a bag stuffed with books slung over her shoulder and a withering look on her face.
[right]
[b][font="Lucida Console"]NAME: ALIX SPENDER
AGE: 22
STATUS: IRRITATINGLY RESPONSIBLE[/font][/b][/right]

Theo dropped his controller and leapt to his feet.

[right][font="Lucida Console"][b]NAME: THEO ADAMS
AGE: 24
STATUS: LIKEABLY DELUSIONAL[/b][/font][/right]

[b]"You dare insult the master of all combat?"[/b] he growled, coughing a little as the forced snarl began to hurt his throat. Alix rolled her eyes and left the apartment, leaving Phil to gesture Theo back to the game. He looked at his watch, rubbed his eyes and looked again, this time in shock.

[b]"Holy Jesus on a jetski, I'm so late,"[/b] he said, rushing out of the living room and into his bedroom,[b] "I was supposed to meet Helena half an hour ago, I knew there was some reason I couldn't do this!"

"How are things going with you two?" [/b]Phil shouted across the corridor.

[b]"Good, it's been a while."

"Do I ever get to meet her?"

"Well, I like her and I want her to become a proper part of my life...so no, you never get to meet her."

"Why not?"[/b] replied Phil in (relative) disbelief.

[b]"Because, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, Phil," [/b]he said, moving back into the living room, now wearing a different but similar shirt,[b] "But you're a total loser. And if Helena meets you, then she'll think I'm a loser too, and I'd like for her not to find that out for as long as possible. So how about you, any new girlfriend prospects?"

"What do you think?"[/b] Phil replied with a scowl, turning back to the TV screen. Theo sighed and knelt down next to Phil, placing his hand on Phil's arm.

[b]"You really need to get out there, buddy,"[/b] he said,[b] "It's been weeks since Nikki left."

"Don't you dare say that name under this roof!"[/b] snarled Phil, his face suddenly pressed close to Theo's, anger in his voice and his index finger raised to silence his friend, [b]"If you must refer to her, please call her "It", or I swear I'll move out!" [/b]Theo pondered this for a moment, before (reluctantly) nodding in agreement.

[b]"Now go..."[/b] said Phil, pointing to the door, and Theo got to his feet and headed out to meet his new(ish) girlfriend Helena. Phil sighed, feeling a little bad about snapping at his friend, but his civil (earth-shattering), low-key (publically humiliating) and totally NOT) mutual break-up with his previous girlfriend "It". He got to his feet, stretched a little until his joints loosened with a series of audible CRACKS, and headed to the kitchen. He turned the corner to get in, and was greeted by the sight of a strange man, well-built but naked aside from an inadequate towel wrapped around his waist, searching the fridge for food.

[b]"Hi..."[/b] he said, puzzled. The guy turned round and nodded, then turned back to his epic quest for food. Phil's common sense started to kick in to try and work out the situation...

[center][font="Lucida Console"][b]PHIL'S COMMON SENSE LOADING...
LOADING...
LOADING...
LOADING...
FULLY LOADED![/b][/font][/center]

[b]"Ella!"[/b] he shouted, turning back out of the kitchen and storming down the hall. His other female flatmate Ella emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of shower-steam and perfumed body spray, a questioning look on her face.

[right][font="Lucida Console"][b]NAME: ELLA JOHNSON
AGE: 23
STATUS: KINDA SLUTTY...[/b][/font][/right]

[b]"What?" [/b]she asked, pressing her hair with a pair of straighteners.

[b]"Who's the dude drinking my OJ?"

"It's Alix's OJ, actually..."

"Whatever, the OJ is not important. What's important is that there's a half-naked man in my kitchen!"

"Technically it's Alix's kitchen..."

"It doesn't matter! Who's the dude?"

"Oh him? That's...urmmm...my friend!"

"Really? You can't even remember his name? Really, Ella? Is he just a piece of meat to you?"[/b] he raged, wondering at the same time whether he was actually angry at Ella bringing home a random dude for the millionth time or if he was just venting about "It".

[b]"Hey, when the package is that pretty, who cares what's inside!" [/b]she replied, and turned back into the bathroom. Phil sank to the floor, his head in his hands.

[b]"Such a bad morning..."[/b] he groaned quietly, his self-pity violently interrupted by a loud beeping coming from his pocket. He got to his feet and yanked his phone from it, flipping it open and reading the text message he had just received.
[b]
"MR WRIGHT,"[/b] it read, Phil wasn't sure if it was typed by someone who was incredibly angry with him or just by an idiot, [b]"WE WIL FITE V. V. SOON! U WIL DI LOLZ!" [/b]Phil raised an eyebrow at the message, deleted it and flipped the phone closed.

Now where was I? he wondered, before remembering, Ah yeah, that's it. He sank back down to the floor and continued groaning. The messages, over email, text message and wall posts on Facebook from a group calling itself[b] "DIE PHIL WRIGHT!" [/b]had been coming for upwards of three weeks now, and showed no sign of stopping.

[b]"OJ?"[/b] came a mysterious voice, and Phil raised his head to see the piece of meat standing over him, waving a half-empty (or half-full. No wait, half-empty) carton of orange juicei his face.
[b]
"As if you haven't done enough already..."[/b] snarled Phil, still not sure of the cause of his anger. He stumbled back into the living room, ignoring the bewildered looks of the piece of meat as he went, and collapsed into a heap on the sofa, flicking the TV on.

[b]"...the first annual GGG Heavy Industries Pop Culture Expo will be taking place here one week from today," said the attractive young news reporter as the busted old TV flickered into life, "Thousands of people will be in attendance to witness the new releases by GGG Heavy Industries, as well as the first public appearance of the mysterious Ms. Veronica Vixen, new CEO of the company. The official press release for the expo claims that it will be "full of surprises," with one of the few attractions to be announced thus far being the genius Video Game producer Ashley Frieze, showcasing his new product line. But as far the expo goes, we can definitely expect a number of GGG-signed bands to make appearances, including the ever-popular Clash at Demonhead, and the newly-signed Sex Bob-omb to name but a couple. We will be bringing you all the latest news on the Expo when we hear it, back to you in the studio."

"Pop Culture Expo..."[/b] mumbled Phil drowsily, before dismissing it and going back to his video game.[/font][/size][/center]

[Lilt]

[color="#DDA0DD"]With the interview over and the interviewer already gone, Mi Hi decided to leave the club.[/color]

[b]"Are you going already, Capri?"[/b]

[color="#DDA0DD"]That was Donovan. He was the only one at the club or anywhere for that matter, who was allowed to call her Capri and keep breathing.

"Yeah, I'm out Donny. I'll see you tomorrow night." Mi Hi waved.[/color]

[b]"Okay, stay safe."[/b] [color="#DDA0DD"]Donovan waved back before turning around as Mi Hi left the club.

The club wasn't far from Mi Hi's home, so after an uneventful ride in a quiet town, Mi Hi was finally home. She kicked off her shoes and her clothes. Her parents were away for a few days so she had the place to herself. She decided to call up Wendy, one of her few close friends in Arizona. She looked at her phone and suddenly remembered the text messages.

"I doubt it was really them. Wendy probably just put some people up to it. She's the only one that knows about them." Mi Hi thought to herself as she deleted each text message.

Mi Hi sat down on the couch with a soda. By the time she decided to call Wendy, she had already forgotten all about the text messages so she didn't ask her friend about them.

"Hey Wendy, want to come over? Okay. Okay. See you soon then. Bye." Mi Hi put away her cell phone and turned on the TV.[/color]

[i][b]"...the first annual GGG Heavy Industries Pop Culture Expo will be taking place here one week from today," said the attractive young news reporter as the busted old TV flickered into life, "Thousands of people will be in attendance to witness the new releases by GGG Heavy Industries, as well as the first public appearance of the mysterious Ms. Veronica Vixen, new CEO of the company. The official press release for the expo claims that it will be "full of surprises," with one of the few attractions to be announced thus far being the genius Video Game producer Ashley Frieze, showcasing his new product line. But as far the expo goes, we can definitely expect a number of GGG-signed bands to make appearances, including the ever-popular Clash at Demonhead, and the newly-signed Sex Bob-omb to name but a couple. We will be bringing you all the latest news on the Expo when we hear it, back to you in the studio."[/b][/i]

[color="#DDA0DD"]"That sounds like a good excuse to go to C.A."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in!" Mi Hi yelled.

Wendy walked in, seeing Mi Hi, she got similarly dressed and sat down on the couch too. Mi Hi got up to get her a soda.

"So, what do you feel like doing today Mi Hi?" Wendy asked. "Want to go out or just watch movies here? I brought some good ones."

Mi Hi could always count on Wendy to make this boring city a lot of fun. The clubs were awesome of course, but once you left then that was it. That's why she was glad to have Wendy around.[/color]