Charles Posted February 17, 2002 Share Posted February 17, 2002 I'm not really a poet,(haven't written a poem in like five years) so you'll have to excuse me if this isn't the greatest. It doesn't really have a rhyme scheme or anything. Also, I hope it doesn't creep anyone out as it's very melancholy. Life was cruel to you and I know When we were young, we vowed to be friends forever Someday you and I would build a rocket ship together And free of sorrow, circumstance and the problems of tomorrow Dance among the heavens and build a home among the Milky Way Standing here among the others I do not know how to feel Among a sea of black veils and slippery cheeks I feel as if I am a phantom Oh look at how your mother weeps in desperation Your papa's lips form empty words, as he clasps her hands with trepidation I hope that you have finally found our magic kingdom I regret that I could never figure you out You were a Pandora's box of dreams, desires and secret hiding places Now those precious treasures lie locked within you forever And still I stand among a sea of solemn faces I fight to stand strong on trembling knees, yet I know I have lost a part of myself Optima dies Prima Fugit, eh old friend? Do you remember the Desiderata? "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars. You have a right to be here." If those words are true, then why are we standing here mourning you? I know the pain you must have felt when they took your very being away Standing here, nothing more than an anomaly, unique in my own way I raise my fist to the heaven's and cuss with venomous rage I asked God to protect you, what good did it do to pray? As the last bit of dark soil covers you, the crowd begins to disperse Carrying away with them dew drops from moist blades of grass Yet I still stand here alone, wondering at the feeling in the back of my mind Twittering birds all sing the same song Life goes on, it's survival for the strong When you passed my world fell apart Everything we did; we did together You were so familiar yet such a stranger Clutching at thin rays of dancing sunlight I finally see The person that was just buried was....me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ notes: Optima Dies Prima Fugit: Latin phrase meaning, "In the lives of mortals the best days are the first to flee. Desiderata: Old poem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted February 17, 2002 Share Posted February 17, 2002 Well if you have never worked up a poen in 5 years..... you'd be rich if you had a job as a poet. That's just a great poem! Supreme brilliance! Keep up the good work! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 [COLOR=royalblue]...............make a note of this, because you'll never hear me say something like this again, Good work. The use of Latin makes this poem a most excellent peice of penmanship.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted February 18, 2002 Author Share Posted February 18, 2002 Hey, thanks you two! Honestly, I don't need to be rich with my writings because it's just okay to feel like a million bucks when people like it!;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sephiroth Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 I rarely read poems, or write them for that matter, but I rather enjoyed reading your one, good job cwb, keep it up sucka!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treble Posted February 18, 2002 Share Posted February 18, 2002 Good work! It was an interesting poem to read.I liked the line "Life goes on, it's survival for the strong".:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted February 19, 2002 Share Posted February 19, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Treble [/i] [B]Good work! It was an interesting poem to read.I liked the line "Life goes on, it's survival for the strong".:) [/B][/QUOTE][COLOR=royalblue]We call it "Social Darwinism."[/COLOR] ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 [color=red] Very sourly-sweet. I loved it. The Latin phrases add very much to it. And I liked that it didn't rhyme. It made it very much better. It was very touching, Charles.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted January 26, 2003 Author Share Posted January 26, 2003 Thank you Mitch. It means a lot coming from you. I can't believe that you brought this thread back from death, lol. It's still one of my favorite poems that I've written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sere Tuscumbia Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 Ooooo . . . me likes. Me likes a LOT. It's well written, and the Latin's a plus. A big plus. ^_^ Kudos to the C-Man. --Mistress Sere Tuscumbia, signing off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Vampire: Ed Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 Well, don't expect my post to be any different than the other's posts. This is definitely great work, and the latin is an awesome touch. Something I don't see too much in poems, well actully unless I am mistaken I've never seen latin in a poem before this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiha Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 [COLOr=royalblue]Dulce et Decorum Est. I think it's a rather famous war poem from WW1....[/COLOr] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DKsAngel Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 I actually quite think its great, for not writing in a long time..o_O; I gotta brush up on my poems some, havent written for a few months Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makai Kite Posted February 15, 2003 Share Posted February 15, 2003 All I can say is... wow. Thank goodness I was listening to a cheery song while I read this or I would have cried. Keep up the great writing, CWB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinobi Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 I have only noticed this thread just there, and i wish i had saw it earlier, everyone has said everything that needs to be said really, it is just so.....Wow! As i always say reminding you all the time, youa re a great writer Charleh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted February 20, 2003 Share Posted February 20, 2003 Like good ol' Shinobi said I wish I could've seen this earlier, but oh well. All I gotta say is Wow. I knew you were a good writer, that much has been obviouse, but this blows away my expextations. I honest to god love it. Its a great poem. I'm normally not a fan of poems that don't rhyme, but this one is one of those few exceptions that I'll have to say are so much better with out the rhyme. Keep up the good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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