Writing Every Night

[Guest Romeo]

[color=cc0066][b][size=4]EVERY NIGHT


Tonight she'll come to heal my pains


Tonight she'll untie my earthly chains


hours and hours i spent


waiting for your heanvenly descent



how can I describe your lovely face?


more beautiful than a shinning star in space



both the hand and pen are weak



no words or poets can reach your peak



no body saw your charmed beauty



but its me who can value your pretty



every night i dream about your smile



your eyes,lips ,or legendary tale




I feel your soul from far



flying behind horizons where you are




mixing with my smallest cells



acting in harmony like churchs bells



suddenly ,I woke up collecting my shattred-thought



looking at your marevelous light



strange that i could not move




frozen in the deepest hove




you graped my iced hand




and led me to your land[/size][/b][/color]


[img]http://www.alanayers.com/images/figures/3ToKissASpy.jpg[/img]

With all my love........Romeo the Lover

[Spikey]

nice for a begginer. you have the lines to far away. i will give ayou an example:

as i see you go,
i watch from below,
you can't go,
but why?

you are gone,
gone for the day,
please come back,
someway.

then you start a new part. here is another way you could write a poem:

fly,
fly away,
jump,
jump into the clouds.

and just keep it going. that is just for you to know, i think that is how all poems are wrote.

[Raiha]

[COLOR=royalblue]Way to go Romeo...........BTW, don't post in a font that big please. It's not kosher. Thankx. ;)[/COLOR]

[Kain]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Raiha [/i]
[B][COLOR=royalblue]Way to go Romeo...........BTW, don't post in a font that big please. It's not kosher. Thankx. ;)[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]
Not.....Kosher???Your a real job Raiha.Nice poem Romeo.

[asar]

Overall i like it, but there are a few lines where, say, there are a few too many syllables to fit the pattern you've set up. And this line to me makes no sense

but its me who can value your pretty/
every night i dream about your smile /

Otherwise i think that it's great!

[Raiha]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by safer cloud [/i]
[B]
Not.....Kosher???Your a real job Raiha.[/B][/QUOTE][COLOR=royalblue]I was kidding. It's a quote I stole from my blood brother.[/COLOR]