Writing A Story (Book 1 of 3 in a series im writing)

[{Angel}Healer]

Ok, this is a story i am STILL writing, its meant to be part of a trio of books im going to get published...tell me what you think of it so far (P.S. I Have Spent [*5*] Days On This Story So Far) :blah:

*=1 day (#4) was totally editing, no writing

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Chapter One
The Five Talons Inn



One day at Kings Port a ship pulled in. As the anchors clattered into the bay of seaweed-infested waters, the boards creaked and a gangplank came down. Off it trudged a group of adventurers. ?Tis? good to see land again,? said one adventurer, tall and muscular, heaving his pack upon his shoulder. ?Aye, and quite a welcoming view of the merchant-folks,? a slender women with a black hooded cloak said, gesturing towards the marketplace and its bustling crowd of villagers. ?Now, don?t go thinking bout? any stealing Illesarea, we got business here, and we don?t want to get any unnecessary attention,? commanded a stout fellow, in his mid-thirties and seemingly the leader. ?I know Drak?kon, just commenting on how I must come back here some time?? and with that she started after the muscular one, already following Drak?kon to an inn of some sort. As Drak?kon neared the inn door he noticed a rotting sign creaking above the ill-kept door saying ?The Five Talons Inn.? Staring, a roadside beggar held out a hand, pleading for food or money. Tossing him a coin, Drak?kon pushed the door without even looking to see if the others were there. Five minutes later, he was asking Illesarea to check out the bard list, see if they could squeeze in some money for their travels. ?May, hic! I help you?? inquired a seemingly drunk bartender. ?Yes in fact, you may,? replied Drak?kon. ?Can you tell me if a fellow by the name of Ravéir comes by here lately?? he asked. ?I would say I could, but this Ravéir fellow came in yesterday night for a rest, and was found dead this morning, nothing stolen though, quite odd,? replied the bartender, coming out of intoxication. ?I thank you for telling me, this is?troubling news for me, goodbye then.? Drak?kon was walking towards the man on the other side of the bar, who could possibly give him a room?and some information on the death. Panting, Illesarea came jogging towards him. ?There is an opening in the show in five minutes, hurry!? They both went towards the stage to find the muscular one getting out their instruments. ?Hurry Reddilesar, give me my harp!? hissed Drak?kon. Handing the flute to Illesarea, and the harp to Drak?kon, Reddilesar pulled, not an instrument, but an attraction, flashing golden swords, specked with jewels of all colors and sizes. They went on the stage and started an old ballad past down from Drak?kon?s lineage for centuries. Reddilesar flashed the swords once, then twice, moving in rhythmic precision to the music. Illesarea softly played the flute, and it was enchanting music.


For this reason, many people think of Illesarea as a half elf, though she bears not the ears or the ability to see in the dark. She is what most people would call a beautiful girl, from sight in her teens, but really in her twenties, who should not be going about fighting evil armies and adventuring. She has red hair, and blue eyes, though some would say they were bright green from a distance. She is a rogue of the night, depending on her instincts and her slender, skinny frame to keep from being detected. On the other hand, Reddilesar is strong, tall, and very muscular. He usually carries his two handed claymore on his back, using the sheath that is covered by his pack to keep it hidden. He has hazel-brown eyes and black hair. Drak?kon too has black hair and brown eyes, but is not as muscular as Reddilesar and double wields two scimitars that once belonged to his father?then one day he gave them to Drak?kon and left towards the Ice Cave Mountains in the north, and never returned.


As the ballad came to a halt, the crowd cheered and sent gold pieces flying through the air at them. The group caught them gratefully, and left the stage. Unlocking the door to their room, Drak?kon noticed the next room was locked off by a trap and lock mages symbol. These are common symbols placed upon an object by a mage to keep anyone from getting inside. Drak?kon went over to it and examined it. ?Fine piece of work, don?t you agree?? came a voice from behind him. Whirling around, he found himself face to face with a wizened old mage. ?My name is Alakrion, the mage, and you are??? the old man asked. ?I am Drak?kon and these are my friends, Illesarea, and Reddilesar,? Drak?kon replied, gesturing toward his companions. ?May I inquire what you are doing here?? asked Alakrion. ?We have a room next door, and if this was Ravéir?s room, we were here to make a deal with him, only to find that he was murdered. Do you know anything about it?? Drak?kon said, eyeing Alakrion suspiciously. ?Nay, I know naught, I was just brought here to put a symbol of lock and trap on the door. If you suspect me of killing him, that?s ludicrous! I don?t even have a single parchment or scroll that is of black magic and necromancy. I only place warding spells and heal,? said Alakrion, looking stunned as if he was being framed. ?Alakrion, we mean not to frame you, we just wonder why he was killed now, when we were coming to see him of?but no, he is dead and we must sleep and depart in the morning, good night,? and Drak?kon turned towards his door, motioned for the others to follow, and was about to shut the door behind him when, ?Wait! May I join you in your travels? I am a good healer and can place enchantments of good will on you. I want to prove my goodness!? Alakrion pleaded on, even after Drak?kon shut the door. Hesitating, then more widely, Drak?kon opened the door again and spoke, ?Fine, we need a good mage, and you seem fit. Come, you may sleep on the extra blankets for our journey home, tomorrow we sail back to the town of Amothkrain, and we wait until our next voyage?? and he turned around leading Alakrion to the bags of extra necessities and then shut the door.


The room was stuffy, and had the fragrance of herbs in the air. Only the area near that wasn?t toxicated with the smell was the window, which itself was but a shattered piece of glass in the wall leading to the farm in the back, where the barley was grown for the beer. The room had 3 so-called beds and a bench. There was a fireplace, or fire hole more like it, in the corner of the room, across from the door. There was nothing else much too it, except for the bag on the wall with non-spoilable provisions for snacks to the visitors.


?Well, lets get out our sleeping garments, but don?t unpack! We leave at dawn tomorrow,? and with that Drak?kon sleepily dragged his feet towards his pack leaning on the bedpost. After dressing, they all went into deep sleep, exhausted from the day?s experiences.


At about 2:40 in the morning, though, Drak?kon woke to the sounds of crashing objects. He quickly woke the others and took his scimitars from under his pillow; he always kept them there for emergencies. Creeping outside, he saw that the once-sealed door was ajar and the noises were coming from within. Stealthily picking his way around a heap of rubble, mostly remnants of furniture, a broken chair leg here, a piece of bed sheet there, and was confronted by a mage of seemingly great powers. Creeping around the debris, he got in a position were he could grasp the mage from behind. All of a sudden, Reddilesar came bounding in, followed by Illesarea. The mage, distracted by his companion?s battle cries, did not see Drak?kon lunging forth. Grabbing the mage ?round the neck, Drak?kon gave a triumphant yell. ?Fool! You should never sneak up on a wizard!? hissed the wizard, bearing a lizard-man?s tongue. ?Well, well, a lizard-man! Never thought your kind was smart enough to learn the art of magic,? insulted Reddilesar, a nemesis of the lizard-kin due to both his parents being killed in a lizard-man raid. ?Now Reddilesar, calm yourself, before we do anything with him we must get some information,? stated Drak?kon. ?To start, what were you doing here lizard-man?!? inquired Reddilesar without mercy for the animal. ?I was seeking any evidence of the assassins trail fools! I owed a debt to Ravéir for reasons I have no time to explain, the least I can do for him is destroy his killer,? the lizard-man explained, trying not to hiss too much. ?What any man would do to get a lizard-man?s debt is beyond me, but it seems a likely story,? commented Illesarea. ?Aye, but I still don?t trust the thing,? Reddilesar scolded. ?Lighten up human, if you must know, the band I travel with are not nomads. They live in a cave in the Ice Cave Mountains by a geyser which allows them to keep warm and grow crops,? stated the lizard-man, seemingly glad to get it off his chest. ?What kind of crops? I?ve never heard of crops being able to grow up in the Ice Cave Mountains,? Alakrion asked, his curiosity getting the best of him. ?The fungus kind, mushrooms and other such things,? Illesarea said, answering the question for him. ?You are a smart girl,? commented the lizard-man, seeing the wise part of the expert thief. ?Thank you,? Illesarea replied, not changing her tone from the ?stately? manner when she addressed Alakrion. ?Well, I?m guessing we all want to kill something, so, against my better judgment, lets go with this lizard-man and give Ravéir?s killer something he will never forget,? Drak?kon told the others. ?Fine, just keep out of my way when I cast a spell, I favor fireballs,? the lizard-man agreed.



Chapter Two
The Forest Secret



As Drak?kon trudged along the worn dusty path leading to Amothkrain, their supply point before setting out towards the mountains, he noticed signs of early travel up ahead. ?Stop, I see some markings here, be wary, there might be an ambu-? Drak?kon?s words were cut off as orcs pounded in from all sides, yelling there battle cries of death and woe for there victims.

Immediately, Drak?kon pulled out his scimitars, yelling for the others to fall back. Concentrating on quick and accurate strikes, Drak?kon preferred to let his opponents get exhausted trying to stop him rather than giving heavy, maiming strikes. As the orcs grew weary and fell to Drak?kon?s death blows, the ones farther back started to run away. ?Aesh-Da? Vaer éclor?en toffen Masha!? murmured Alakrion, pointing his forefinger and thumb in an L shape at the retreating orcs. Immediately, the orcs froze in their tracks, seemingly paralyzed. ?I thought you said you were but a healer,? Drak?kon teased sarcastically. ?I am, sometimes I have to use this spell t keep my patients from kicking and flailing, it seemed the right situation for it now, I needed to get rid of my excess energy anyway,? Alakrion retorted, trying to sound dignified. ?Well, at least your good for something,? smirked Reddilesar, trying to sound like magic was nothing compared to his ?shiny? claymore.

Before Alakrion could retort, Illesarea signaled everyone that she had found something. By the time the group gathered round, she was already crawling inside a large rectangle-shaped hole in the stone face. Inside the cave were old caravans and crates of merchandise. Upon looking inside a few of these crates, she found a few copper pieces and a key. Wondering what the key could be for, she stumbled on a giant chest with a lock on it. As the placed the key inside, it snapped. Calling to Reddilesar for help, she began to pull the chest open. As Reddilesar came over, he saw a shaft of metal. Using it like a crowbar, he pried open the chest, revealing roughly 600 gold coins and two half-buried items. Upon seeing the items, the lizard-man ran over and scooped them up. ?These are Ravéir?s. It?s his favorite flask and his family emblem pin, the lizard man hissed. ?How do you recognize them?? Drak?kon said, with a bit of suspicion. ?He showed them to be, he quoted, ?and this, Mhoram, is my-? the lizard-man cut himself off, knowing now that he had just revealed his most secret thing: his name. ?So, you have a name, Mhoram was it? It?s very?nice? Alakrion commented.

[{Angel}Healer]

Ok, I Know Im Double Posting But...I Said "Tell Me What You Think" and I've Had 3 People Look, But No-one Is Telling me What They Think!!! Do You Think I Just Put This Up Here To Rot?!?!? :flaming: :flaming: :flaming:

[Charles]

Hey, it's pretty nice, but you might want to space it out a little bit more. It looks kinda cluttered. ;)

[{Angel}Healer]

k, i edited and spaced it out a "bit" :p ty for actually replying CWB