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The Legend of Zelda: Links Teenage Years


Defcon5
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"Surround the castle walls! Let no one enter or exit the city! If the king won't give up i'll force him too!" shouted Gannondorf as he sat on his tall black horse. "If they won't come out eaisly then I'll starve them all to death! Remember General absolutly no one is to leave or enter. If anyone does. It's your head."

And with that he rode off towards the desert.

Link looked at Happy with an grave look on his face. The dark night sky added to the terror that was upon them. They had to get out before Gannondorf took over all of Hyrule. Ever since he got Majora's Mask he had started a reign of terror over all the land. With his powers and the masks he was unstopable.

"How the hell are we gonna pull this off?" asked Link

"With the help of that prostitute over there on the corner of course." replied Happy

"How is that gonna help us?" asked Link

"Easy we get her to tempt the guards and then we kill them and sneak out" said Happy very proud of his idea.

"It's worth a try." said Link.

So the got up and approaced the prostitue Link in front

"Sorry hu your too young." she said "But then again were all gonna starve any way so what the hell! i'll even give you a discount!"

"Um no thanks." replied Link "But we do need you to help us. How much will it cost for you to tempt the guards and while there busy we kill em and run?"

"Nothing if you let me come with you."

"Of course!" shouted Happy

So with that they approaced the gate. Got the guards attention and when they where close enough Link killed them with his blade. Link called upon epona and he and the prostitue rode on her. Happy pulled out his bunny mask and ran along side them. As the made there escape soem guards saw them.

"Damnit! You three after them!" shouted the general "And don't metion a word of this to Gannondorf! You hear!?"

Link heard this so he headed for a place he thought they would never find him. The lost woods.
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kredion spiritswimmer toke his evening swim in the lost woods pool eversince the evil humans had taken over the castle he had been here hoping to find the legendery swordman link but still he had not seen him hoping his skull kid friend had sen him his friend would be here anytime now. he heard a stange galloping sound and he dove down to get his waterproof spell book nd staff he always worn his wristshot but ity was not enogh to take down a greudo and theair famed treivery he recalled a 3 serect stones and a ring from the 4 races the kokori ,zora and gorgonsmade the stones but the humans made the ring it had a yellow jewel rumored to be set in the middle of the master sword allowing it to stop evil with more ease
but the other 3 jewels were the key to the sword perhapes if the sword was recovered the jewels could be returned and set in the rightful place there were found in the shrine mean't for the 3 goddesses.
the hoofbeats were geting close starting to chant one of his few spell he summoned a water spirit it was a spirit in the shape of a fish that could attack very powerfuling depending one the casters magic poweress.
he told his new pet to stay in a defending piostion and to attack if the target atatcked. ok to someone else.
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Guest Daft Punk
Tetrina, Saria's sister, who is extremely power-change sensitive woke up frightened, thinking about her dream:she was in a dungeon with a bunch of other people, starving she asked the guard why she was there, but he told hr to shutup.
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Link was riding into the Lost Woods...

"Thank God we got away from them", Link said.

"Now are you interested in a job?", said the prostitute. "Like I said, I'll give you a discount."

"OK, let's-"

"No, Link!", Happy said. "She probably has AIDS!!!"

Link: "Come on!"

Prostitute: "..."
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"But I wanna" said Link

"Nope i'm sorry but I promote abstinence until marrage." said Happy "And besides she would be charged with not only prostitution but volentary rape."

"I don't care!" shouted Link

"You are one horny little teen arnt you? The hormones must be raging." said Happy

Link blew up he ran at Happy swinging his sword violently. Happy pulled out a sword of his own and started dueling with Link. The fight almost looked like one of those West side story dance fight scences. But in the end Link's hormones got the best of him and Happy knocked the sword out of his hands and flew into the prostitue killing her instantly.

"Noooooooo!" cried Link

"Well that takes care of that problem" said Happy

"Wait now I can get some for free!" said Link

"Dude that's nasty." replied Happy

So Happy took Link by the arm and put him on his horse and they rode away.

"I hurt inside Happy and I don't know how to stop it." said Link

"You shallow horny little kid." said Happy. "You barley knew her! You only liked her cause she offered you sex. And she was hot. And she was stacked. And she had a nice ***. But anyway you didn't really love her!"

Neither one of them said another word as they rode farther into the woods.

Else where Gannnondorf sensed Link's little hormonal outburst. Since Link was the hero of time Gannondorfwas able to sense it. So he called for some of his men and sent them after Link.

"A fourteen year old boy shouldn't be able to take out these guards" thought Gannondorf to himself

"Think what you want." snapped Majora's Mask. "Don't underestimate him!"

"Shutup!" yelled Gannondorf. "No one asked you! Remember I am in charge here! You couldn't control me I control you!"
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