GinnyLyn Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 I'm seriously torn over something and someone in my life right now, and would appreciate some advice from you all. First of, the story. I go to a church (and this is NOT a church debate, this is about having a crush on someone)--I'll call it CLC--where I've pretty much grown up. Been going since I was eight (am now more than twice that age). My mom got into a bad fight with one of the other members of the church during a Christmas Eve service and now she refuses to go to CLC anymore. She says my younger brother will be allowed to go until he is confirmed (that happens in mid-June), then she is pulling all of the family out of this church and into our new one (CoL). I, however, will have free reign to go to whichever church I like. I like the CoL church (it is only 5 minutes from our new house, as opposed to the 30 minutes it now takes to get to CLC)--nice people, happy there, etc. I'm a lot happier at this church now than I've been lately at CLC. So what's the problem, you ask. The problem is a guy I'll call "Dan". He's my brother's confirmation teacher and he's really sweet, funny, caring, etc etc etc. I've got all the trade marks of having a crush--my heart beats fast when he's around, I always laugh at his jokes, he always teases me, I can't stop thinking about him, more etc etc etc. The thing is, if I stop going to CLC, I won't see him anymore. At least, not on the weekly basis I'm used to. A lot of my friends and family (not my brother, though), know about this. Some have told me to tell Dan outright that I like him (which scares the patooie out of me just thinking about it), and Mom (who I love like a mom [i]and[/i] a best friend--she always seems right about most stuff) says I should just flirt and let him make the first move. I'd be fine with that except he's painfully shy, just like I am. So what do you think? Should I tell Dan outright, flirt and hope he talks first, or should I just forget about him and go on with life? Please advise--I'm going to meet with him Friday to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Fett Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 Tell him, you will lose him if you dont........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelus_Necare Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 Yes! for the love of cake Ginny tell him how you feel! keeping it inside only makes it worse, I was in almost the same situation but I was shot down, I hope it doesn't happen to you. Good Luck and Kudos if you do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zidargh Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 [SIZE=1] I dont agree with the options on the poll. But my opinion is that you shouldn't 'flirt' with him just yet as it'll create your feeling towards him obvious for others. Wait and be more of a 'friend' to him. Then not only does he feel that you're there for him, you find out who he really is. This is just my advice, I hope I could be of some help as I am male myself, lol.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 Well if he's painfully shy then getting him to make the first move will be difficult though not impossible. Even the most shy guys, if you are overt and obvious enough in your advances, will eventually come through and ask you. Or you could ask him to see a movie or go for coffee, he'll get the message in a more subtle way. No need to say "Be my boyfriend" -ad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted May 7, 2002 Author Share Posted May 7, 2002 *hugs Adam* I miss talking to you, you goober! ;) (My brother is being a tyrant over the internet and this computer has no IM programs to speak of at the moment) As far as being a friend first....heh, we've been friends probably about a good seven months now. All I know is I would do almost anything to make him happy. And my heart is just flopping about and aching at the same time, getting me to sit here and type all this out while I [i]should[/i] be working my tail off on this, the last day of my finals! I love y'all for listening and giving advice back. :love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueGender Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 I say that you just tall him how you feel and if he doesn't like you go to the other church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zidargh Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GinnyLyn [/i] [B]*hugs Adam* I miss talking to you, you goober! ;) (My brother is being a tyrant over the internet and this computer has no IM programs to speak of at the moment) As far as being a friend first....heh, we've been friends probably about a good seven months now. All I know is I would do almost anything to make him happy. And my heart is just flopping about and aching at the same time, getting me to sit here and type all this out while I [i]should[/i] be working my tail off on this, the last day of my finals! I love y'all for listening and giving advice back. :love: [/B][/QUOTE] [SIZE=1]Well it's obvious what you must do then, you're mad about him. Take it slow and unveal from a friendship to a romance, with beginning events such as what Adam said. Time and fate will then take it's place, so I bid you good luck and have a fantastic relationship.[/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 im suprised because this happens to everyone. yes tell him. trust me, being a shy guy; nothing is better than the girl being "helpful" and just going ahead and doing what you both want. just say something... anything. i know its hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 ::giggles:: ::uncontrollably:: Oh, Ginny! Meh, well...I guess you know what I would tell you....seeing as I have before...so... Love and luck and stuff. ;) [And give your brother a kick for me, mmkay?] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted May 7, 2002 Author Share Posted May 7, 2002 Oh Cera....:p :p :p <-------------Raspberry ^_^ Eh, looks like I'm gonna go against my mom's wishes...heh. But if it works.... You know, when I first met him, I remember him asking if I involved with anyone or... When we first started our Bible study, he came to me first and said, "So what's the best time for you? I only want to do this if [i]you[/i] can come." O_o' How come I'm only [i]now[/i] remembering this kinda stuff? I guess I'm afraid that he said stuff like that in a teasing or friend-but-I'm-not-looking-to-get-involved friend type way. But I KNOW I'm gonna go more than pyscho if I don't say something. And I guess telling would take care of any anxiety I have. (Although I'm getting nervous just [i]thinking[/i] about telling him this Friday.) *gives RJ a good whack for Cera ;)* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hikaru Ichijyo Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 Ginny, I'm not exactly the best person to take advice from since I have a somewhat similar problem, but I suggest you tell him and make it apparent you have feelings for him. There is nothing worse in the world then not knowing how another feels about you! It can drive you a bit nuts and stuff, so I think you should really just make it apparent to him. You may be shocked by the results! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Matt Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 [color=red][b]I would go for it. What do you have to loose?[/b][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char! Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 Yeah, Ginny, come right out and say it. If nothing more say it over a telephone, or write him a note if you have to. It would be a lot better if you let it out face to face, but if you can't do that then do it the other way. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sailor stardust Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 [COLOR=seagreen]well,not really good at this,just got into a new crush myself... anyways,my personal opinion is the u should flirt w/ him awhile and see if he seems like he likes u.Since he's shy,he probably won't make the first move,shy guys usually don't.But once u feel he likes u,then I think u should tell him ur feelings. GOOD LUCK!!!![/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Char! Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by sailor stardust [/i] [B][COLOR=seagreen]well,not really good at this,just got into a new crush myself... anyways,my personal opinion is the u should flirt w/ him awhile and see if he seems like he likes u.Since he's shy,he probably won't make the first move,shy guys usually don't.But once u feel he likes u,then I think u should tell him ur feelings. GOOD LUCK!!!![/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] Uh, nice pic SS... I suppose that whatever you do, Ginny, do it before someone else walks in and takes your chances away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted May 7, 2002 Share Posted May 7, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Son Goten [/i] [B][color=red]I would go for it. What do you have to loose?[/color][/B][/QUOTE][color=indigo]Dude... think for once. Her reasonable sanity, dignity, a lot of good feelings, etc. There is a lot that can weigh on a situation like this. Anyway, first off, long time no see Ginny :) I don't know you [i]too[/i] well but it is still good to see you around. As for your predicament, I can somewhat relate. Though in my case, the girl I like knows I like her and I know she likes me. This is all thanks to horoscopes! Woo! Yeah, her horoscope for one day told her to confront the person she admires and tell them how she feels or something like that, so she did :love2: And then I came out of the closet with my feelings as well the best I could (which is not too well since my words to people I like come out sounding like trying to pronounce 'qytakvf') I am probably pretty similar to this "Dan" of yours, I am really shy about things, especially emotions. Which is why I never said anything to the girl I like until she told me how she felt, cause then I knew I wouldn't get shot down or anything. I myself would also not go with the whole flirting until he makes a move thing. I personally don't reall condone flirting, lol, because of its meaning . . . Well I can't find my handy dandy dictionary right now to give you the word for word meaning but the definition basically makes the word "flirting" a synonym for "deception"; to make one think you have intentions you really don't have. So that is why I'm not for the whole flirting thing. I think telling him face to face is by far the best way someone could ever do it. I probably would go on about this whole aspect, but I have to go eat dinner now, lol. So good luck with "Dan". :)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 Yes...yes indeed, Ginny... Good luck with "Dan." ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iggy Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 if anyone knows guys like those i do cause im kinda one of them i think you should make the first move thats what my girlfriend did those kind of guys will only make the move after you express your feelings heh ^_^" so yes you should tell him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 well i have advise but i am NOT going there cause the post would be forever long and EVERYONE here dont want that so i will keep it short TELL HIM thats all i will say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrist cutter Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 I suggest you stop thinking about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuja Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 [SIZE=1][FONT=century gothic][COLOR=crimson]first off i would like to say... your 9 whacks away from marring me, dont think i would forget you just cause you left for a while ;). second i will tell you to follow your heart, it may get broken, but i personally think it is better to have a broken heart than a curious one, you will always find someone better if they dont feel it back, but if you dont at least let them know, your heart will always wonder and fall for them each time you think of them. third can u send u me your email addy in a PM? i miss talking to you about nothing (i talk to a lot of people about nothing) *hugs* we all missed you lots (maily ada... um yea i wont finish that in case you didnt know 0: ) hehe)[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by kuja [/i] [B][SIZE=1][FONT=century gothic][COLOR=crimson]second i will tell you to follow your heart, it may get broken, but i personally think it is better to have a broken heart than a curious one, you will always find someone better if they dont feel it back, but if you dont at least let them know, your heart will always wonder and fall for them each time you think of them. COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=royalblue]I agree completely. :) Better to know than not to know -- the worst thing this guy can say is no...and really, if you prepare yourself for that...then it's not so bad. :)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeh Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 [COLOR=indigo]well ginny.... if he act's like that (what ya explained about that bible thingy and whatnot) hes JUST like me.... i'm really shy when it comes to relationships... both me, and my girlfriend knew we liked each other... just to shy to make a move.... she eventually asked me to a movie... one i wanted to see (how'd she guess that??) and later... well we ended up together! So i say go for it Ginny! From the way (you described) you feel about him, i'd say ask him to a movie, or out for coffee like adam said..... movies are great things ya know ;). (ask him to see Spiderman w/ ya, 'tis a great movie! and wb ginny!!!) [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamvis Posted May 8, 2002 Share Posted May 8, 2002 im suposed to be the only one with bad problems! well will someone help me with mine? wellll. theres this girl ive liked for erm FOUR years and she knows it but she seems not to like me AT ALL but we arent exactly friends and i try to get closer but when i do i just get farther away so its hard well i find out today that she just doesnt like me because i keep messing up and going in when she and her so called BF try to make-out, well if she would have told me this i would have left it alone but NOOOO she waits and her best friend tells me so its heart-breaking? Why an i the only idiot that goes through this with every girl he likes? So any advice? (leave it alone, keep trying, or go die alone in a ditch somewhere cuz we dont like you?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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