Writing In the end

[tursi]

This is a story i'm working on it's, as my friend said, cute.In The End

She who stands tall. In one hand she holds an ocean of water, the very essence from which we are born and to where we revert to when we die. In the other hand she hold fish and crustations, these she gives use in plentiful amounts that suit our needs. Her heart is large as the land she rules over. She is our mother we always had but never knew.
Those days are long gone now, we have abused her kindness. Her waters are but creeks and her bountyfull food is but a lonsome salmon and clam, but her heart is great and still loves. Even though we have over harvested and are careless, she?ll still provide because of her love. She needs an heir to her thrown, because she is dying. She is my mother and my provider. My name is Dolphin, but they call me Tursi.
Chapter 1: Neptune?s Prodigy

The swells were high and broke long before they reached shore. I watched from afar as little ones tried to ride the waves with no success, but still insisted they could. I laughed at most pity, and smiled at the very few success. Then sighed knowing that very few would unbeknown be subjects to the sea. I laid low in the swells so none on the beach could see me.
?Tursi!? I heard a call from behind me. I raised an eyebrow and turned around to see my friend swimming towards me. ?Tursi! You?re going to get in trouble out here! You know how your mom is about these things. No going.?
?With in range of humans.? I finished. ?I know Katie, but you have to agree, they?re pretty interesting to watch.
?Yeah,? she sighed. ?Especially the little fries.?
?Aren?t the called babies or kids or something like that??
?Maybe. Why??
?Read it in the scroll.?
?Oh.? They both just stared blankly. ?We should probably go now.? With that Katie dove, splashing me with her dark purple tail. I growled and followed after her whipping my teal tail like crazy trying to beat her to the house.
As we dove farther the water got colder and I loved it. As we raced it embraced me, my brown hair danced in it and my natural blond highlights shimmered. As we got closer my fudge eyes narrowed and Katie?s blue ones shimmered with delight. Then with a good flick of my tail I caught up quick and grabbed her tail and flung her backwards.
?Hey! No fair!? she yelled at me.
?All is fair in war and love for food my friend.? We swam through the window and caught our breath. Katie?s eyes gave me a devilish glimmer and I smiled. We?ve been together ever since we were born. She is actually my sister, both adopted, but we decided that sisters fought too much so we considered each other friends.
We were in my room; it was closest to the kitchen. Katie sat on my seaweed bed as I but on the song ?Neptune?s prodigy? by the Spikes. The Spikes were a rock/punk band that is the best around these parts. Then I checked outside my door to make sure dad wasn?t coming then grabbed some shrimp and coral sticks (like fun dip) and brought it back to the room. I threw her some coral sticks and I started on a shrimp. I looked over at Katie and gave her a toothy smile then inhaled through my nose and out my gills. Katie gave me a lop-sided grin and took a bite out of her coral stick.
?Ok Tursi. What do you have up your fin now??
?About tomorrow.?
?The meeting?? Katie asked while taking a bit out of her candy.
?Yeah. It?s no normal meeting.?
?What could it possible be? A coronation?? Katie looked over at Tursi as he gave her a wide grin. ?You got to be kidding!?
?No but keep your voice down.? Tursi check outside then came back in. ?Our mother is the queen, but we were adopted so it wouldn?t matter if she had any biological children.?
?But she doesn?t have any so we would be next on the list, and with us being older we could surely take her place when she?s ready.? Tursi just smiled and popped another shrimp into her mouth as the sound of a door slamming rang through our ears and gasps sounds coming towards our room.
?Well, dad?s home.?
?Do you think her knows what you did today??
?No one was out there was there?? Katie looked down ward. ?Katie??
?I did bring Travis along. But I told him to go back home later.?
?You told him you were coming to get me. Oh great mother of pearl. That little weasel.? Tursi sighed. ?Oh well. He was going to find out soon any way.? As I finished my sentence Neptune barged in, literally, and gave Katie and me the evil eye.
?I?ve heard about some things you?ve done today.? He grunted. ?You shouldn?t be going to watch children play.?
?See I told you they were called children.? I whispered to Katie, she rolled her eyes.
?Quiet. If I ever hear about you going to do that again I will have to let you not go to the next meeting.? He turned and started for the door his large green tail sweeping back and forth, and then he stopped. ?By the way your both beached.? Then he left for the thrown room.
?Oh great, beached again.? I grumbled. Then I looked at Katie. ?Sorry for getting you beached to.? She just shrugged her shoulders.
?It was my fault I brought the guppy along.?
?Yeah, Travis can be trouble. Oh well.? Tursi sat next to Katie and ate another shrimp. ?You know I?ve been beached so many times that it?s a routine now.?
?Yeah it?s sad isn?t it??
?Yup? As night fell I let Sucker, my pet octopus into the bed, and looked out my window and at the glittering lights above the ocean and sighed. ?It?s so beautiful.?
?Yeah it is, isn?t it.? A strangers voice said from behind me. I turned to face a boy with blond spiked hair and blue eyes that could just stab you.
?Ok, who are, and how did you get in here?? I asked.
He moved closer and sat on the bed. ?You see the moon. It?s one of my favorite things to watch. I usually sit on your roof and watch it, but I would hear you mumbling on. It?s just so distracting.? I was out raged, how could come into my home and say that to me, but he has the right to freely speak.
?I?ll just ignore that last comment.? I said with an agitated voice. ?Can you leave now, I need to get some sleep.?
?Fine? Then all of the sudden I woke up, even though I thought I was sleeping. I looked out my window to see a giant yellow orb. It was morning; 12 hours to waste till the coronation.

Chapter 2: Celebration

[Guest cloricus]

Good, but I think there might be a few spelling mistakes?

[tursi]

really? oh well, i can't spell anyway. thanks for your crituque, once i finish chapter 2 i'll post it.

[Sui Generis]

Yup I agree with Cloricus its good...Interesting to say the least. I like it :whoops:

[Raiha]

[COLOR=seagreen]Shades of Pisces. I love it! Who would think.....of putting in a story about mermaids?[/COLOR]

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic]Well, isn't that a rather pointless question, considering what you just read? And cloricus, cautioning someone about spelling mistakes. Egad, that's a sad state of affairs. Anyway...

It would be more "reader friendly", I suppose the term is, if you separated it somewhat. Paragraphs actually add suspense, especially in a situation like this where you do not have to worry about breaking the momentum.[/font]

[tursi]

sorry about the dealy for the second chapter, i'm haveing tehnical difficulties with using the laptop, and i just got ungrounded from the long period of time that included 3 nine weeks of school. But i will get the next one in, i'm also want your opinion on what should happen next, i'm not really all that good at this, i took me a while jut to do the first chapter.

~Tursi

[Guest Shift]

[size=1][color=crimson]I like it..but then again I like everything![/size][/color]

[tursi]

Chapter 2: Celebration Preparation

? Oh man! I?m going to be late,? I grumbled. ?I?ll grab breakfast Katie, you get our books!? I yelled as I raced down the hall from my mother?s chamber and towards the kitchen to pick up our usual seaweed muffins with some jelly substance that our chef says is normal from whatever place he came from. I saw our bagged breakfast on the bar table and sand dollars to buy lunch on the way home. ?Thanks Eddie!?
?No problem kid.? Eddie said back. I put them in my bag and went to meet Katie in front of school. As usual I ran into, literally, Nick, one of music friends. As we collided his books and music flew everywhere as also did my breakfast and interment mouthpiece.
?I?m terribly sorry,? I moaned as I picked up my stuff and put it in my bag.
?Its going to be a typical day again isn?t it.? Nick replied sarcastically. I smiled and started off again. As I swam further down I could see the top of the school. Music Hill is what our school was based on top of. We were an arts based school; I was a band major like most of my friends. We were as weird as people could get, especially to lower voice section, which Katie and I belong to. As I got closer you could see at least 7 large buildings making the foundation of our campus, I was in building 7, the music and theater building. That?s where I meet Katie; we quickly ate our breakfast and dashed for class.
It was noon and Katie and I went to the coral patch to pick up some patties for lunch. Then rushed home to get ready for the coronation. ?Nervous Katie?? I asked as we swam to our room.
?Sort of, I don?t really know what?s going to happen.? She replied.
?Same here.? A whispered as I went to go get the ceremonial garments on. I closed my door and took off my school clothes, which consisted of a headband and a necklace with a small shell on it, and took out a small tiara and a pearl bracelet and to top it off a necklace with a small green stone on it. Then I combed out my hair and put it in a bun with one strand loose and slid on the tiara. ?I?m ready.? With that I left to the conference/ball room.
I got to the doors of the ballroom and they called out my arrival and took my seat next to Katie and mother. I looked out upon the massive sea of heads that was our audience. I gulped in fear and in pride, if you could do such a thing. ?Let the meeting commence.? Mother said. ?First order of business is new law passing.? I sighed as they rambled on, the one thing you learn at a meeting such as this is to sleep with your eyes open, and that?s exactly what I did.
?Man o man, you just are disrespectful aren?t you?? a strangely familiar voice said. I turned to see that I was dreaming again, and the boy from last night was here to bug me.
?What do you want boy?? I snorted. ?And who are you? That was last nights question.?
?If you must know,? he said as his ice-cold eyes looked at me with such fierceness that it makes you go cold. ?My name is Allan, and all I want to do is warn you.?
I gave him a questioning look. ?Warn me?? He nodded. ?Warn me about what??
?You?ll see tonight. When we have more time to talk.? He said then he vanished.
?But when tonight?? I mumbled as Katie nudged me awake. ?Oh hi Katie. What did I miss??
?Nothing really, she did announce that the coronation is tomorrow due to a change of plans.?
? At least we don?t have school.?
?Yeah.?

[tursi]

I'm starting to have a lot more time on my hands so i'll be able to get chapters out faster

Chapter 3: what happens in dreams?

That night I tossed in turn in my bed restlessly. My green covers were comfortable, my pillow was soft, and I had even some soft music playing. Still, I could get that boy, what was his name, oh yes Allan. Allan, Allan, Allan, how come he feels so familiar, like I knew him before now. I sighed in defeat of sleep, and with Allan still on my brain I let my heavy eyelids drop and went into a deep slumber.
Then unlike most dreams, I flew into a vast collision of colors, it sucked me in and the next moment is was in a dark room. I scanned the room, and then recognized something; I wasn?t in the water any more. I almost panic till I noticed I could breath air, then I looked at my self, I was human. Oh man, how did I know I was going to have a nightmare tonight. ?Tursi? Is that you?? a girls voice said. ?It?s me Katie.?
?I know who you are silly, but the question is where are we, and why are our dreams connected?? I asked her. Katie shrugged then pointed into a corner.
?Ask him.? I peered into the abyss and saw a boy, not any boy, it was Allan. As the room got brighter I looked around, we were totally closed off besides the metal bars that held us in. Allan seeming horribly sorry looked at me; his eyes were softer than before.
?You?re probably wondering what this place is.? Allan sighed. ?Right now it?s where I live, yes I am human, but only during my entrapment here. Hey, but you?re not here to listen to that, you?re here for the warning, right Tursi, and you the advice, right Katie.? We both nodded. ?Tursi your warning is that if you take over you reign will be short, and Katie your advice is keep your friends close, but your enemies closer; also, don?t ever give up hope. I know I haven?t at least not yet.?
?Why are you acting like this? Before you were a stuck up, ignorant little merboy that loved to tease me.? I asked. Then all of the sudden a large crash came from the hall.
?You have to leave or you?ll be stuck here to, then there will be none of us left, Leave now!?
?What do you mean us left??
?Just leave,? He yelled. Then I flew backwards into the portal of vast colors and it overwhelmed me and not being able to control my thoughts, I went unconscious in my sleep, hoping someone will help me. Until then I found my self lost in plains of sea kelp, then I turned and saw the most beautiful kelpie in a long time. She was solid black with ever changing colored eyes depicting her mood. I moved closer to her she sat still and neighed at me beckoning me closer.
?What?s your name black one?? I asked her, and to my surprised she answered.
~ Esprite, your spirit and guardian. ~ Her voice was soothing, like a waterfall. I smiled and her eyes glittered. ~ It?s time for you to awaken a new person spirit spiritually and mentally. ~
?Huh?? The kelpie glowed and shot me with a bright light and I woke up in my bed with Katie just staring at me. ?You saw them too, Allan and the Kelpie?? Katie nodded flabbergasted. ?What?? She pointed behind me and saw a glowing figure of Allan.
?Come back soon, or I won?t last long.? The in a flash he disappeared.
?Looks like our life has made a large turn, maybe it?s for the best, but I don?t know. How about you?? I asked Katie.
?It?s to soon to tell. Much to soon, but we mustn?t tell anyone.? I nodded as I stoked my pet octopus.
?So what do you think, is Allan real, or is it our imagination??
?I thought I just answered that.?
?No you just answered if you think we are going the right way. Now I?m asking is it real, is this what happens to us, what happens in our dreams. Katie this is going to become very serious.?
?Yup, now it?s time to become diplomats.? My friend said.
?Not for me, I?m taking his warning real personal. You be the next ruler for all time. You?re more cut out for this, but if the choose me I won?t last long. Katie you got to make it.? Katie felt my forehead.
?Hmmmm, no fever,? She nodded. Then cleared her throat. ?ARE YOU INSANE! Passing up this opportunity is just as crazy as you scheme to free Allan.?
?I never said I was going to free Allan at all in this conversation Katie.?
?Oops I swear you did. Ok maybe it was the little voices in my head?
?Good. Ok, time to get back to here and now, the coronation is in 6, count it 1-2-3-4-5-6 Hours.?
?Right now it?s time to get down to business.? Katie said at last, and I smiled and laughed at her, then eventually we laughed the first hour of our time laughing.