The Unholy Newt Posted May 20, 2002 Share Posted May 20, 2002 AS i said in the sign up section the troll has crashed through the door bellowing aand eating people. Do something before you get eaten too. Rogan sstarts by darting around behind it ready to attack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 20, 2002 Share Posted May 20, 2002 *[I]Sitting back, downing some ale but not getting drunk. Watching the troll eating people and crushing others. Looking over near the door. The one other person not going crazy. Getting up and walking over to him.[/I] Enron: And what might thines name be? Man: Zaltazar, why do you care? Enron: What do you think of that man over near the troll. Looking stupid and about to be killed? Zaltazar: Idiot. Enron: My thoughts. Should we save the people in this good establishment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 Zaltazar: Why? Let him die. That's my opinion. I'll tell you what. You up for a bit of a wager? Enron: Why not? Zaltazar: Alright, even stakes says my lost cathartic friend over there doesn't last a mintue. Enron: That's a gift, not a wager... Zaltazar: Oh well. [I]Zaltazar suddenly ducks, as the god damn troll throws a recently amputated arm at him. Annoyed by the blood that now covers him, Zaltazar gets up.[/I] Zaltazar: Alright, I was going to stay out of it, but that goes too far! Goodbye furry troll! [I]Zaltazar pulls out his pistol crossbow and fires three shots at the troll. One his it's left eye, the other two strike the throat. Zaltazar walks over to it, approaching from its now blind side. Swinging his twin viper in a circle, he thrusts it straight into the trolls throat, killing it instantly. Looking at his lost cathartic friend, who had standing behind the troll, waiting to attack it, he gets very, very annoyed.[/I] Zaltazar: God damn it. Do I have to do everything for you? If you had been doing your job, I would not be soaked in blood. Now, go away, before I have to do something more or less permanent to you. [I]Zaltazar levels his twin viper at the man with one hand, his pistol crossbow aimed with the other. Hearing a footstep behind him, Zaltazar risks a glance backwards, only to see Enron backing him up.[/I] Enron: You really should observe protocol you know. If you're going to sneak behind it, attack the damn thing. You have a lot of blood on your hands right now. Zaltazar: Hell, I have a lot of blood on my hands, but then, I got an arm chucked at me... [I]The bartender, who had been cowering behind the bar, finds that his courage has once again jumped into his lap, yells at them.[/I] Bartender: We'll have no brawling in here! Zaltazar: Strange, considering what just happened... Bartender: You god damn bastard! Get out of here now! [I]Faster than those around him can react, Zaltazar turns, and fires his pistol crossbow at the bartender. The bolt takes him in the heart. He slumps down, swearing weakly.[/I] Zaltazar: Alright. That's it, I'm out of here. [I]Zaltazar leaves, stepping over the troll, and the remains of all sorts of other people.[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 *[I]Enron walks briskly after his new found....? ...Friend...? Foe...? Crazy weird person...?[/I] Enron: You didn't leave me any.... *[I]Glancing back over his shoulder at the barn.[/I] ...What will you do if that annoying man from back there follows us. You've already got me to put up with, what if he follows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 [I]Zaltazar turns, irritated at the fact he was followed. He regards Enron coldly.[/I] Zaltazar: Then I tie him down, stick some boxes on him, and put some starving rats in the box. I'm sure he'll enjoy being eaten alive. Enron: You really don't like people, do you? Zaltazar: I'm an assasin. It's kind of neccessary that I don't. [I]Enron looks taken aback at Zaltazar's flat admission.[/I] Zaltazar: Surprised? You shouldn't be. Nothing else really suits me. Of course, you don't know me. Now, I recommend you too go elsewhere. [I]Zaltazar stalks off into the night, blending easily with the shadows.[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 *[I]Enron looks back at the barn and then at the direction that Zaltazar went, and then back at the barn only to see Rogan walking out. Enron turns and starts running in the direction of Zaltazar, until he tripped over a small booklet. "Ye ol scripte" The front cover said. Enron flicked it open looking for a clue of where Zaltazar might be, "Zaltazar walks past a blue green tree". Enron looks, and then looks again. "Well that doesn?t help" as if asking the book. He flicks to the next page. "You idiot Enron what do you need, GPS numbers! [B]GO STRAIGHT AND YOU WILL FIND HIM[/B], Jesus crisp!" Enron starts running strat until he finds Zaltazar.[/I] Zaltazar: How did you find me. *[I][Looking wondering.][/I] Enron: I followed this book! *[I][Enron pulls out a [B]PILE OF DUST!?[/B]][/I] Enron: This is making me look like an idiot right... Zaltazar: Yes... *[I][Enron drops the dust][/I] Enron: Any way Rogan is coming. Zaltazar: Hmm. *[I][Enron gets bored and pulls out his "Ye ol Minidisc player'et and starts listening to Ye ol ICP - Piggy Pie'et (old school) until Zaltazar thinks of a response.][/I] [After a 16 and a half minute mental block, I remembered how to spell "straight" and "remember"... but I never forgot how to spell that one... yes you did ...no I didn't ... YOU LIE!!!! anyway.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 Zaltazar: You're pathetic belief in a book you found on the street is very, very uninspiring. Enron: Shut up, the good parts coming on. Zaltazar: Whatever. I think I'll kill that guy. The one who wrote the script... [I]Suddenly, Enron and Zaltazar are surprised by a swarm of rabid, over-sized locusts flying out a crack in the concrete.[/I] Zaltazar: Here we go again. [I]Rogan runs in, surprised at the fact that there are a bunch of big bugs flying around.[/I] Zaltazar: Well, if it isn't my lost cathartic friend... Rogan: Stop calling me that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 Enron: Who invented concrete anyway, I thought it was invented in the 20th cen..... *[I][Enron is interrupted by the locusts sudden change to a shopping mall....?][/I] Enron: Drugs are bad mmmkay.... Zaltazar: Well that's o... *[I][Suddenly the mall disappears and it's back to the swarming locusts. All of them just suddenly fall dead on Rogan in a big pile. Enron looks at the pile on Rogan and then at Zaltazar.][/I] Enron: So Zaltazar, how do you spell your name anyway? Zaltazar: Dose this happen to you all the time? Enron: Pretty much! Zaltazar: Z*A*L*T*A*Z*A*R??????. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 OOC: We're dominating the rpg, and we're messing with it. I really hope The Unholy newt doesn't mind. Zaltazar: Anyway, now that my name has been so well spelt... Enron interrupts: it had better be spelt well, it's your name. [I]Surprised at the sudden revelation, Zaltazar hops around on one leg for a while. Then starts stabbing locusts with his twin viper and flinging them at passers by. Then he gets hit by a falling sloth.[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 OOC: Opps............................................... Enron: That better be spelt write because if you die I will have to put it on your grave tree.... Or is that grave glass ... No; no it's gravestone. *[I][After no response from Zaltazar, Enron turns around to see Zaltazar lying on the ground with a beetle on his face. Zaltazar gets up and kicks Enron in the spin.][/I] Zaltazar: It's a sloth you idiot! *[I][Zaltazar goes back and lies down unconscious again.][/I] Enron: Ow, that hurt. *[I][Enron walks over and removes the "sloth" and starts taking bites out of it. Until it turns... Purple....?][/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 OOC: By the way, aside from you me and my lost cathartic friend, who eles is in this? [I]The now purple sloth looks at Enron strangely, it's eyebrows turning into a very obscure species of fish, you know, the one Ovid made a poem on... Enron glares back, and his eyebrows also turn into a fish. The two fish pull out tophats and start hitting them with each other. Enron and Zaltazar walk off, leaving them to it.[/I] Zaltazar: You'd better hope your fish wins. You're going to look pretty strange without any eyebrows for the rest of your life. Enron: Not nearly as strange as you look without a nose. Zaltazar: Damn it! How did you know? [I]Zaltazar hops around for a while bemoaning his fate. He shuts up however, when his nose walks down the street and starts kicking him.[/I] Zaltazar: Damn it, you can't kick a man when he's down! Zaltazar's nose: I'm a nose. I'm YOUR nose. I can do whatever I like. Enron: You're a nose, how do you talk? [I]Startled by this piece of logic, Zaltazar's nose sets itself on fire. After the ash disappears, it reforms of Zaltazar's face, much to the astonishment of the nose that, after all, actually had been on his face the whole time. Enron and his now two-nosed companion continue walking.[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 OOC: I think there are a few others. *[I][Enron pulls out his long sword and swipes at Zaltazars face, cutting of his second nose. Which then turns in to eye brows and reattach them selves to Enron?s face. Enron no longer has a mono-brow!][/I] Enron: That ye ol scripte said that some other people where going to be in this.... but I don't see them. Zaltazar: You could always make your invisible friends visible! Enron: What a good idea! *[I][Five human looking things become visible. Well five until one gets shot by Zaltazar for having a mono-brow!][/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 [I]Zaltazar starts to get irritated.[/I] Zaltazar: God damn it! Enough script crap! Can't you realise that it's more fun if we ignore it? Isn't that right Rogan? [I]Rogan, who has just crawled out of a nearby atm, which hasn't been invented yet, so he had A LOT of trouble, doesn't answer. Going over to the atm, Zaltazar pokes at it, shouting "I won, I won" when poptarts fly out of it.[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 OOC: I say we drag LiamC2 in here! Enron: Lets all go kill the big bad troll! Zaltazar: What troll? *[I][Holding a pop-tart, which at that moment turns purple. Zaltazar drops the pop-tart and looks at Enron.][/I] Enron: There?s always a troll to be killed in these things! Zaltazar: That?s little red riding hood you idiot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unholy Newt Posted May 22, 2002 Author Share Posted May 22, 2002 Rogan: What the (Explicit Mode of Verbal Communication) is going on here we have locusts rising up out of this funny grey hard stuff and weird contraptions that spit out pastry, what is all this about?????!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 OOC: Just join the fun. Anything goes, within normal social guidelines. (Yes, genocide is frowned upon) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unholy Newt Posted May 22, 2002 Author Share Posted May 22, 2002 Suddenly a man in a long black cloak appears. Man: Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha, it seems my delaying tactics have worked while you were busy handling those absurdities I have come one step closer to ruling the world Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah . . . ha . . . . . . . . . . . ha Rogan: What the hell :flaming: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 Kind of OOC: Zaltazar: Oh my God! Rogan's attempt to restore sanity to this rpg has triumphed! What can my lost cathartic friend thinking? Back to sanity... Zaltazar: So, why did a troll break into a populated area? Normally they're more cautious... Rogan: It almost seemed to be there for a purpose... It was after something. Zaltaar: More likely someone, my lost cathartic friend. You see how it paused for a moment and looked around? Rogan: You think a troll could be that intelligent? Zaltazar: Perhaps... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 Enron: Or just really hated some one in there... [I][Zalrazar and Rogan look at Enron funny...][/I] Enron: Well may be some one there was mean to him. Hay why the hell are you looking at me, I'M THE IDIOT IN THIS STROY. And I can't even tell the difference between there and their. Hay I can't even spell! It?s the Middle Ages for crisps sake! OOC: Ad yes that is crisp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstorture Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 [color=darkgreen][I]Alastuin swings down from a nearby tree, kicking the man in the head before landing gracefully on her two feet infront of the rabble eating purple poptarts.[/I] Alastuin: {insert non-offensive text here} [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unholy Newt Posted May 22, 2002 Author Share Posted May 22, 2002 Rogan: Lets go ask someone in this town maybe they know something about it or direct us to someone who does Zaltazar: Why don't we just threaten to kill them, that always works. Rogan: Why don't we try asking them first Zaltazar: That's just crazy enough to work (Rogan pulls aside a villager) Rogan: Do you know why that troll was here Man: I don't know why don't you ask Koron the crazy hermit he knows everything Rogan: I might just do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unholy Newt Posted May 22, 2002 Author Share Posted May 22, 2002 (After asking around rogan finds that the herit's place is outside the town in the forest, they poke around in the forest for a while and eventually find a hut.) (Rogan knocks on door) Man: (opening the door) Yes Rogan: Are you the one they call Koron? Man: Yes Rogan: We were told that you would know something about the strange behaviour of the troll that attacked the village Koron: Oh yes, he waas being controlled by a warlock, Mordak Rogan: Black cloak, surly disposition? Koron: thats the one Rogan: Can you direct us to where we can find this Mordak Koron: Yes his castle is a few hundred leagues off that way *he points* Rogan: Thanks (leaves the hut) Well people what do you think we should do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstorture Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 [color=darkgreen]Alastuin: Well, it's [I]obvious[/I], we go and hunt him down. Rogan: And when we get there? Alastuin: ............ Enron: Well? Alastuin(looking at Zaltazar): We'll burn that bridge when we come to it...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 [I]Having received answers, the four walk away, following the beaten track away from the hermit's hut. They set up camp some distance from the hut.[/I] Zaltazar: Don't you think that went down a little too easy? I mean, the first person you pulled aside lead us to someone who "knows everything". Nothing is ever easy, so this is making me more than a little suspicious. Rogan: What would the villagers have to gain by allying with the trolls, and whoever is behind the trolls? Alastuin: That's easy. Survival. Zaltazar: Exactly. [I]In the morning, they hear some strange sounds coming from back up the trail. A strange shuffling. They start back. They reach the hermit's hut. The door creaks open, the grating of steel on ground sounding ominously like the dirge of graveyard gates. No sound comes from inside. The four walk inside. The scene inside is gruesome. Strapped to a table with what appears to be his own belt, lies the hermit. Lumps of flesh are missing from his arms and legs, and blood is spattered everywhere. The marks look suspiciously like teeth. The companions stare at the sickening site, then jump backwards as the body moves. With a soft squelch, something emerges out of the body's still intact stomach. The head of a rat, it's abnormally long fangs encrusted with a black, oily substance. The hermit has obvoiusly been dead for sometime. And the expression on his face shows that he had been alive for a long time after the torture was inflicted on him.[/I] (From the still open door): We know you come back. We smart. [I]The four spin around, shocked to find their way blocked by the silhouettes of several trolls. Trolls that can talk...[/I] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted May 22, 2002 Share Posted May 22, 2002 *[I][Enron immediately pulls his Gold plated Double Handed Long sword, and looking around sees that Harlequin and Ravenstorture had there weapons out as well. But looking further around sees Rogan who is still slightly socked with no weapon.][/I] Enron: Draw your weapon! *[I][Rogan pulls out his Battle Axe and moves in to a battle stance.][/I] Rogan: Trolls; you are no match for us. Enron: Ok that's just not the thing to say! Try, bugger off trolls or do what it said in the "Ye ol scritpe". OOC: I ****ed it up sorry.............. VARK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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