Writing Feelings from the twisted insecure being that is my heart. .

[liamc2]

Well this isn?t really a story or a sonnet. But it is something, a rant if you will, that I need to get off my chest.

Please do not reply, unless you have a valid point. .

Also, I would appreciate it if any friends read this, please don?t discuss it off the boards . . I do not need nor want any counsellors.

Thankyou

[size=1]P.S. I apologise if this is hard to read in any way. [/size]
_________

Yes I know who you are. Day in day out, he believe you make yourself feel better, ?look cool? to your friends. Simply by sneering at me. All I wanted was a simple mass produced soft drink from the vending machine, I got it. But it also came with slander on your behalf.

?Hey poofter, yeah you poofter!, look at me poofter?

I turn to face you to find out who this is that so enjoys afflicting me so. I see your face, and realise you are one of the regulars, and again you open your mouth.

?Hey yeah the poofter knows he?s a poofter, hur hur?

The words have no meaning. They have been used enough on me to lose their meaning. But there is hidden meaning everywhere you look, and this is not exempt. The way you said it is the way you hurt me.

God I hate you people.

But yet again I must thank you. For without you, I would have no trials in my life to step over, to become stronger.

But still, it hurts.

In the past you have always threatened me. Because I am different. At first it was because you believe I?m too smart. But even you realised that that was incorrect. Then you noticed that I used computers. So that part of me became the butt of your slander.

But, yet again you realised that it was too, incorrect.

So you waited and bided you time, leaving me to think that this tribulation had ended.

It had only begun.

You noticed that I did not drink, you noticed I did not smoke, you noticed that I avoided derogatory jokes about women. You noticed that I avoided parties.
You noticed that I, in fact, had a set of morals.

You instantly hated it.

Now I do not know how your mind works. .nor do I claim that I do. But I do know that you object to me. I know that you do not dislike me because I am ?smart,? because many are smarter than I, and that they are left scar free.

I know you abhor me for some reason, because you seem to like to ?test? me at every turn. In a recent school activity, was your latest test. You and others know of what I speak. When reading out the ?pat on the back? papers, you called out in a loud voice

?Hey someone wrote ?f*ck wit? here, that?s not very nice?

I knew that was directed at me, it was obvious. I look up and you smile that same stupid leer, and say

? loser! god you are so protective at times. . [size=1] poofter[/size]?

And so the new torment was born.

You can?t accept me as who I am. You can?t accept the fact that I?m different. So you must attack me emotionally and physically so you do not feel threatened by me. Because I am different, something in your mind states

?Must be a poofter. .must be some gaybo. .?

Not only do you insult me, but insult the people that actually are homosexual. But, anything goes if it makes you feel big.

I would love to fight back and place a well propelled fist in the centre of your face, nothing more would please me. But, weakness has become my friend, more damage would be done to my hand than to your hard skull.

Besides. .violence is not the answer. .it would lead to more pain, I know this from personal experience.

So this is how it will remain, until we leave school and the milieu changes, and hopefully we will put our differences aside and be equal.

But I know, deep down, that will never happen. You will always persecute me in some form or way.

That is how it will remain

That is how it will stay

All from the want of 7up. .

[Guest cloricus]

To coin a phrase, "Welcome to my world."
Except you do get beaten up all the time. Do you...?
But me getting beaten up I would say is my fault.
No matter where you are or how old you are there will always be people like that; you just have to find friends and learn to ignore others.

[Raiha]

[COLOR=seagreen]That's not the most pleasant of tales, but it gets to the heart of somebody's life. Sad but true. I appreciate your frankness.[/cOLOR]

[RicoTranzrig]

I feel that...a part of me wants to mess people up really bad but, in truth, I've never raised a fist against anyone in my life...it can get so stupid in junior high or high school, you get a whole lot of BS and crap like that from people who think they're better than you are. A lot of people at my scholl don't really give a sh-t about how people feel. The worst was when a friend of mine went up on stage to play guitar,

"I wrote this song and it really means a lot to me."

"Show us your stack!" Some guy in the audience shouted out.

"It's for a good friend of mine who died last year..." She starts to get teary eyed...

"So?!!?" Someone else shouted out...

Whatever happens you have to stay strong. The one who focuses on what they really want will get what they want...if it's to piss the heck out every sensitive soul out there, then whatever. You can leave them in the dust by the time you graduate.

[marbar]

Moving story. I know that this is against your, 'please don't reply without valid point' thing, but I'd just like to say

[SIZE=4][color=green][b]GO THE 7UP!![/b][/color][/size]

[Sui Generis]

Sad but true...Well nice job writing it! :whoops: Man kind be the crulest thing imaginable...Again nice job writing...

[liamc2]

thanks for the support. .it helps. .

[Ravenstorture]

[color=darkred][font=gothic]That is terrible, Liam... you are the last person in the world who deserves that kind of treatment. And you take it brilliantly.... but don't worry, mi'lord, soon their calls of "Harrryyy...." will soon fade into a low growling sound whenever you walk past. And yes, the evicerations have already begun.[/font][/color]

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic][color=crimson]I agree wholeheartedly. Mention it next time my lost cathartic friend, and wait for the screams to echo around the school...[/font][/color]

[Boo]

*snif*