Writing The Guardian

[Bahamaut2020]

The Guardian

Many years into the future humans will make peace and decide to expand their race. With the technology they have they decide to send another expedition to Mars. The expedition was a sucess. The humans began to build and create hover-cars and hover-transports the size of the White House to tranzport people to Mars. As more and more humans came to Mars, more and more expectations to make cities came. So the first city was created on Mars. It took only 9 months with the help of the robots and the machines they made. Since the city was the size of North America and getting bigger that was the only city they made. But, as the humans created a civilization on Mars, farther away from the city a powerful force was awakening from deep within the planet. It was forming as the city grew. As more humans came the creature took form. The more pollution that the city made from smoke and lack of water filteration the monster Grew size and strength. Then it was fully created and rose from the center of the planet. Meanwhile the city took many precautions to keep the city safe by building strong and powerful weapons. When finished building the machines they set them up in places at the city entrance and city exit, and other places. Days went by accordingly for a while. Then one afternoon somthing that would devastate the human race for centuries came. The weapons were standing by, fighter jets were making their routine flight. But when a fighter called in to put in his report they lost transmission. Next a tremendous heat-signature showed up on the radar. The soldiers began to panic. As the signature increased the soldiers calmed down took their weapons and waited. A radar-man told them the amount of distance the creature was. "600 meters!" said the man. "550 meters! 500 meters! 450 meters! 400 meters! 350 meters! 300 meters! 250 meters! 200 meters! 150 meters! 100 meters! 50 meters! 20 meters! It is right on us!!" yelled the man. The soldiers look around. nothing in sight. Then as fast as ever a beastly shape crashed down from the sky above. It then looked at the city. The monster looked like a dragon and was as big as the city. The monster roared. The soldiers in panic fired everything. But, it didn't even sting the dragon. Then the creature flapped it's wings so hard the weapons and the soldiers went flying. As the monster approached the city an electrical beam formed below the monster where the check-in was. The monster stepped right through it hurting it's foot with the electrical energy. The monster became angry and lifted the huge entance building and threw it at a gas factory. It blew within seconds. The monster crashed threw the city while fighter jets fired at it. Through annoyance the dragon used fire breath to destroy the jets. It approached the heart of the city where the center building, a bigger clone of the White House. The so-called leader of Mars looked through his window at the beast. His bodyguards rushed to his side and erged him to leave. The leader refused and said, "This is where I belong. This is our punishment for trying to increase our empire. I would guess this creature is the guardian of this planet of this planet." The dragon looked around knowing the city was to big to destroy phyisicly. Then it Back flipped and landed on all fours. Sudenly a huge ball of enregy formed. The leaged saw it was going to destroy the city. "It is an honor to be killed by you!" said the leader saluting. Then the energy beam was fired heading toward the center building. The beam hit it and then an explosion occured. The dragon flipped back up and guarded itself by folding it's wings around it. The explosion grew until is surronded the city. In seconds the city was gone. The only things left was the ruble and the dragon. Then the dragon unfolded it's wings and flew off. No futher expeditions were made to Mars, or any other planet unless needed. Stories grew on how a mighty city dissappeared from a dragon. For as long as I know not one written expedition was made again. But still to this day the dragon on Mars has been sighted from telescoped. And that dragon will forever, be Mars's guardian. THE END

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic]Now, if you send this into NASA, what kind of reaction are you expecting?

A little more detail would have helped, and breaking it up would have increased the visual appeal.[/font]

[Corey]

Cool story.
Like Harlequin said, a little more description would have helped.
Also a little more word diversity.
Some of the words became repetative though the story.