Writing Goatman!

[Dragon Warrior]

Ah yes. It's here. You voted. I tallied. I got the vote as Goatman. Now enjoy your top choice for the next Disasterpuiece Theatre production!


[SIZE=4]GOATMAN[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Episode 1[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]"Enter the Goat"[/SIZE]

Narrator Guy: Welcome to Goatman blah, blah, blah? Ahem. I am the narrator of this piece of crap found in a dumpster outside of Howie?s Pizza Place. God this is a terrible idea for a show! Who in the right mind would enjoy it. Might as well narrate now. I have no choice. (sighs) Now for the interesting part of the show!

We find our hero [ahem?] stopping a terrible crime from happening?

Goatman: I?ve found you and stopped you! Your done for!

Villain: Darn it all!

Goatman: You slime ball. What were you thinking? I knew it was you all along, Worrywart.

Worrywart: How did you know it was me? I mean, really. Get with the facts here. There?s about 1000 villains in Town Town.

Goatman: Well, I?

Worrywart: Just as I thought. (crosses arms and points nose upward)

Goatman: That?s it. I?m going to kick your can! (leaps at Worrywart)

Worrywart: Oh no! He?ll mess up my hair! (gets beaten up)

Narrator: Later, after the police arrive? Man, this show is boring!

Goatman: Take that evil doer. I never want to see your face doing crime again.

Worrywart: How about my body doing crime?

Goatman: Oh, I don?t see the harm in that.

Worrywart: Excellent.

Police: C?mon, you. Your going to a place where you?ll see lots of crime doers. The park! They have a new swing set. Then we?ll take you to jail.

Worrywart: Jail? They?ll beat me up there! I?m too cool to go! What if the toilets flood and drowned us or tigers rip us apart or? (takin? off in the police car heading for the park)

Goatman: Phew! What a day. Back home I go. But no pudding. It?s my ONLY WEAKNESS.

Narrator: Good idea, Goatman. But wait! There?s a shadowy figure in the tree laughing. Curious.

Shadowy Figure in tree: Muhahahahaha! I now know Goatman?s ONLY WEAKNESS and with the power of using his ONLY WEAKNESS, I can destroy him and do my evil deeds. come General Wes. (falls out of tree)

General Wes: Right sir. (falls out of tree and lands on shadowy figure in a tree now not so shadowy and not in a tree)

Shadowy Figure that?s not so shadowy and not in a tree: ( stands up) This plan will be a true success, General Wes.

General Wes: Yes, sir.

Shadowy Fig-OH FORGET IT!: We will become masters of evil! And we shall destroy Goatman or my name isn?t ARCH NEMISIS!

(lightning flashes in the background as Arch Nemesis laughs evilly)

Arch Nemesis: Where did that lightning come from?

General Wes: Got me, sir.

Arch Nemesis: Well it isn?t raining. It?s kind of odd for it just to flash like that.

General Wes: Maybe some city lights flashed.

Arch Nemesis: I suppose, but keep a sharp eye out for odd lights, General Wes.

General Wes: Right, sir.

Narrator: Later on in that very day, Arch and General Wes take a short walk through the park to see the new swing set when they laid eyes on Goatman!

Arch Nemesis: (walks over and grabs his eyes which were on top of Goatman. He then puts them in) That?s better. WOWZA! There?s Goatman! A perfect chance, don?t you agree, General Wes?

General Wes: Yes, sir.

Arch Nemesis: In fact, I?m so proud of myself, let?s have a good laugh. A good evil laugh.

General Wes: A good evil laugh, sir?

Arch Nemesis: Yes, General Wes. A good evil laugh.

Narrator: And so they laughed evilly and quite impressively.

Arch Nemesis: Muhahahahaha!

General Wes: Muhahahaha!

Arch Nemesis: MUHAHAHAHAA!

General Wes: MUHAHAHAHA!

Arch Nemesis: MU-

General Wes: Uh? sir?

Arch Nemesis: What is it, General Wes?

General Wes: He got away while we were laughing.

Arch Nemesis: Who did?

General Wes: Goatman.

Arch Nemesis: Goat-wha?

General Wes: Ya know. The person we?ve been trying to destroy?

Arch Nemesis: Oh yeah! That guy. Well? WHAT? HE ESCAPED.

General Wes: (sighs) Yes, sir. He escaped.

Arch Nemesis: Curses! We must find him!


Narrator: And so, those two guys went off to their secret headquarters to plot. And while we wait for them to get there, here?s a commercial break from Jabroni productions.


Boy riding bike: This is fun!

Girl riding bike: But only because we?re eating Trix cereal!

(Suddenly, a guy rides beside them with a nice Harley)

Boy riding bike: Wow. He?s cool. He deserves some Trix.

Girl riding bike: Why the heck would he deserve Trix for just being cool?

Boy riding bike: Umm?

Biker: (hits tree and it reveals the rabbit)

Kids: (stop bikes) It?s the rabbit!

Rabbit: (points a gun at the kids) Still think it?s just for kids? Give me all your Trix.


Narrator: Okay! That was a little strange so we cut short. Last time we tape a commercial live? Now then, when we last left Goatman, he ran from Arch Nemesis and General Wes who went to their secret base to plan evil plots! Ooo? (throws script) God, this is trash.

Arch Nemesis: Well, General Wes, I have figured out where Goatman is and now I shall use this brainwashing machine to brainwash him and make him stupid enough for me to put him in a net so I can take him back to my base, have a tea party and then toss pudding on him for his demise.

General Wes: Why not just toss pudding on him when you brainwash him?

Arch Nemesis: Really, General Wes, do you have to think of everything simple? Where?s the fun in that. Now for the brainwashing. (takes out the brainwashing machine)

General Wes: Where did you get that?

Arch Nemesis: I bought it.

General Wes: Where can you find a brainwashing machine?

Arch Nemesis: At JC Pennies.

General Wes: That?s a clothing store.

Arch Nemesis: It has other items and good prices might I add. Now down to business! To the Nemesis-mobile!

(they hop in the car and move at 3 MPH)

Arch Nemesis: We?re making record time now.

Narrator: Uh oh. Better look out Goatman. Here comes Arch Nemesis! Slowly but surely!

Arch Nemesis: Ah forget it!

(They leap out of the car and run instead)

Narrator: Later, where Goatman was found shopping in JC Pennies?

General Wes: (pops up from behind a sweater rack) Look there, sir!

Arch Nemesis: (has a bra obscuring his vision) I?M BLIND! (moves the bra) Oh. Hey! There?s Goatman! And he?s shopping!

General Wes: But the thing is, he?s about to try on that new cape sir. And we can attack him with the pud-

Arch Nemesis: Genius! We can see his real identity and make everyone hate him so he will soon be so sad he?d want me to throw the pudding on him! Hahahah!

General Wes: Not only will the people probably not be mad, but why not just throw the pudding on him as he changes?

Arch Nemesis: (taps finger on arm) There you go again. Always taking the easy way.

Narrator: At that moment, Goatman walked into the changing room with a red cape.

Arch Nemesis: Now?s our chance. (Runs up to the changing room and breaks down the door)

Narrator: Oh no! What will happen next? Will Arch finally see who Goatman really is? Will they ever use the brainwashing machine. And will those underpants on sale ever sell with that great of a deal again? Find out after this Jabroni production commercial BREAK!


Announcer: He?s played Soccer.

He?s played Basketball.

He?s even played baseball and football.

And he?s a freakin? canine.

That?s right. Airbud?s back? unfortunately.

And he?s going PRO!

Boy: Come on, Air Bud! Take Stone Cold out! He?s a wuss!

Wrestling Announcer: What a show. We?ve never seen a dog in pro wrestling before! And let?s just say this match is not going to the dogs.

Boy: (winces as Buddy gets the crap beaten out of him) C?mon, Bud! Give him the chair!

Buddy: (gets tossed into the floor and stomped on)

Boy: Uh? (tears come from his eyes) I don?t think Buddy made it? I?ll never get over this?

?

Dad: Who wants ice cream?

Boy: Oh boy! (jumps up and runs off)

Announcer: That?s right. Air Bud in

[SIZE=4] Air Bud Goes Pro! [/SIZE]
[SIZE=1]No dogs were harmed in this film except for Buddy, Buddy?s double, Buddy?s stunt double, Buddy?s stunt double?s double, Buddy again, Buddy?s lawyer, Buddy?s attorney, Buddy?s agent, Buddy?s kidney, Buddy a third time, Buddy?s son, his wife, his grandmother, and George Washington.[/SIZE]

This has been a Jabroni production


Narrator: (stuffing his face) Oh God I love Cheesy Wheezy Puffs. (sees film rolling) Oh! And we?re back! Last we left off, Arch Nemesis just stormed down the door of the changing room. What will happen next. We must read on even if it?s terribly boring?

Arch Nemesis: Ah HA! Now I have you? you? lady.

Lady: You sick pervert! (smacks him with a purse and he flies into a clothing rack)

General Wes: (walks up) Best try the brainwashing machine, sir.

Arch Nemesis: Good idea, General Wes. (Is hanging by a bra on the rack which is around him like a lady) Umm? could you help me down?

Goatman: (walks out of the changing room next to the one broken into) Not my color.

Arch Nemesis: Ah HA! Now I?ve got you, Goatman!

Goatman: (taps his shoulder)

Arch Nemesis: What? Oh. (turns around so he?s facing Goatman) Now I?m got you, Goatman!

Goatman: I don?t think so!

Arch Nemesis: I do. Haha! (leaps at Goatman)

Goatman: (kicks Arch Nemesis and grabs the brainwashing machine)

Arch Nemesis: It doesn?t matter now. I know your ONLY WEAKNESS. Egad! Why does the writer put ?ONLY WEAKNESS? in capital letters?

Goatman: Beats me.

Arch Nemesis: Oh well. I know your ONLY WEAKNESS and it?s-

Goatman: (drops the brainwashing machine and it fires on Arch and General Wes. They soon forget the weakness. What are the chances of that?)

Arch Nemesis: It?s? it?s custard? No. Door hinge? No. Umm? I?ll get back to you on that.

Narrator: And so, Arch Nemesis and General Wes run back to the secret base in which to plan what his ONLY WEAKNESS is. What luck for Goatman.

Goatman: You said it.

Narrator: Yeah. Whatever. Later that day? again?

Arch Nemesis: Argh! I can?t remember what the ONLY WEAKNESS is. And not only that, but I can?t remember where I left my favorite toy truck!

General Wes: I?m sure it?s around here somewhere, sir.

Arch Nemesis: Your right, General Wes. I?m sure it?s around here somewhere. Like under these papers that read ?ONLY WEAKNESS: Pudding?. Hmm? HEY! I was right. Now I just have to find his ONLY WEAKNESS. Maybe it?s behind one of the thousands of papers all around my base that read ?ONLY WEAKNESS: Pudding.? Ah well.


THE END


This show as brought to you by the people that made Monster Pets. They?re cute, cuddly, and destructive. Every child should have one. And every parent should give them one? IF THEY KNOW WHAT?S GOOD FOR ?EM. So, get cute, cuddly and destructive with MONSTER PETS!

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Crap! I had this huge post about it, but OB screwed up, and I lost it. So I'll sum it up.

Those commercials are freaking hillarious!
[/color]

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Crap! I had this huge post about it, but OB screwed up, and I lost it. So I'll sum it up.

Those commercials are hillarious!
[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Thanx, Aries ^^ Just stuff I thought up. Now then, Episode Two will have Arch Nemesis as the bad guy so watch out for his crazy antics on trying to find out what Goatman's ONLY WEAKNESS is and use it. Crazy, isn't he?

You posted twice by the way.

[Deedlit]

heh. I can't wait to read the next episode. ^_^ I also liked the commercials (especially the Air Bud one).

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Sorry about the double-post. I stopped loading the page, took out "freaking" and pressed submit again :p

Can't wait 'till the next one. (Air Bud commercial was my favorite too)
[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Heh. Well, there's more where that came from. I have Episode 2 in the production right now. expect it in a few hours or so.

[Dragon Warrior]

Alright. This episode takes a person that has sort of seen Beauty and the Beast before. And if you don't know who Mickey Rooney is, well, he's a short man. Her it is:


[SIZE=4]Goatman[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Episode 2
"The Goat's Out of the Bag Now"[/SIZE]


Announcer: Sick of those other video games that entertain you.

Kid: No.

Announcer: Well, then you should get super Dario Brothers!

Kid: Super Dario Brothers?

Announcer: Yeah! It?s fun for the whole family!

Kid: But it?s a one player ga-

Announcer: (mumbles towards kid) Shut up! (normal tone) Now then, when you play this game, your Dario or Loogie his friend.

Kid: Wow. How creative.

Announcer: I know.

Kid: How did they ever come up with that stuff. (sarcasm)

Announcer: The goal of the game is to get through many levels and save Princess Pineapple from the dreaded Downer.

Kid: Isn?t a downer a dru-

Announcer: THAT?S RIGHT! What a great game!

Kid: That?s it! This is a total rip off! The graphics are 5 bit too! You can hardly see the characters moving across that straight line or whatever it is! And Dario and Loogie are really Mario and Luigi. Princess Pineapple. Princess Peach. And Downer is a drug that was used for Bowser!

Announcer: Don?t forget Roshi.


Kid: AHHHH!!!

Announcer: And that?s why YOU should get Super Dario Brothers. Coming to a Mintendo near you.

[SIZE=1]Also available on Lameboy Advance.

This is a Jabroni Production [/SIZE]


Narrator: You sad, sad people. Returning to see another episode of Goatman. What?s wrong with you? You stupid or something? Were you brainwashed with last episode?s machine? GOD! Ahem? today we see Goat (Goatman?s identity outside his hero job) taking a walk to work.

Goat: I?m taking a walk to work today.

Narrator: And everyone in Town Town are so HAPPY. Even Arch Nemesis.

Goat: Hm. Town Town sure is happy. Even Arch Ne-

Narrator: Stop repeating me!

Goat: Sorry.

Narrator: Ahem. And so, Goat takes a walk to his job which he works for a cement factory. Wow. Some job. In the little town of Town Town, everyone was waking up to say:

Man: Hello!

Woman: Hello!

Barber: Hello!

Boy: Hello!

Crook: Give me all your money. I mean? HELLO!

(song starts in a form of Beauty and the Beast)

Goat: There goes the robber with a some loot as always, the same of stuff he likes to steal. But in a morning just the same,
the morning that HBO came,
to our poor stupid cable TV.


Book keeper: Morning, Goat. Where you off to?

Goat: My job. Duh!

Book Keeper: What?s the job this time? Mechanic?

Goat: Cement Mixer.

Book Keeper: Oh. I see. Want to get a book?

Goat: Nah. Wait. Anything on grazing?

Book Keeper: Why yes. (gives him the book and he gets paid)

Goat: Thanks. (walks over to a fountain and sits on the ledge to read some of the book.)

(sheep come over and look at the book)

Sheep: (are eaten by a monster in the water)

Goat: Oh my. I must get to work.

Towns people: Look there he goes; that goat is strange no question.
Something, something blah, blah, blah, blah!

Goat: Oh cut it out! (runs down the road)

Arch Nemesis: (watches from a tree) What?s with us and trees, General Wes?

General Wes: Can?t say, sir.

Arch Nemesis: Hm. Yes. Well? (puts down his binoculars) Let?s move out. (falls from tree)

General Wes: (falls as well)

Arch Nemesis: (shoves General Wes off him and gets up) I?ve decided the only way to stop Goatman is to join that singing crowd of happy townsfolk and he?ll surely come to us.

General Wes: Right sir.

Arch Nemesis: (joins the singing happy townsfolk)

Guy: There must be more to this TV life!

Arch Nemesis: Just watch! I?m going to make Goatman my wife!

Everyone: Ewww?

Arch Nemesis: Sorry. Sorry. Came out wrong. Let me start again. (clears his throat)

Just watch! I?m going to make Goatman my captive!

Guy: Yeah, but that doesn?t rhyme with life.

Arch Nemesis: Well say something else so I can rhyme to that in my part of the song!

Guy: Fine.

There must be more that we want to live!

Arch Nemesis: Just watch! I?m going to make Goatman my captive!

Everyone: (pats his back and applauds)

Arch Nemesis: I?m the man! Oh yeah!

General Wes: You?re the man, sir.

Arch Nemesis: Your right, General Wes. I am. Wait a minute? but the singing didn?t bring Goatman to me. Stupid people!

Townsfolk: HEY! (kick him and beat him down)

Arch Nemesis: Ow! Hey! Not the cape! NOT THE CAPE! OH NO!!!

Narrator: As Arch was beaten down, Goat made it late to his new job and was fired. Now what was he going to do?

Arch Nemesis: (is sitting in a tree) Where is he, General Wes?

General Wes: Not to change the subject, sir, but should you be in a tree when you have a broken arm and leg and spinal cord injuries?

Arch Nemesis: Nonsense, General Wes. You?re a worrywart.

Worrywart: No! I?m Worrywart!

Arch Nemesis: Right. Sorry. (turns back to General Wes) Trust me. There?s no safer place than a tree. (is suddenly stung by a thousand angry bees, attacked by rabid squirrels, mangled by monkeys, the tree branch he is sitting on was struck by lightning and he falls to the ground, the branch landing on him) Ow?

Narrator: Goat may be able to escape from Arch even if Arch doesn?t know Goat is Goatman, but Arch will strike again. He managed to get back to his secret lair with a evil plan. Stay tuned after this commercial break to see what will happen next!


Theme Song: I love eels because they?re so delicious! I?ve gone eeling!

Announcer: That?s right kids. The new taste sensation is out. Tiny crackers in the shape of eels.

Charlie: I found eel guts in one of the crackers. Are you sure they?re crackers.

Announcer: Yes, I?m sure, Chuckie.

Charlie: It?s Charlie.

Announcer: Sure it is. (ruffles Charlie?s hair) And that?s why you gotta eat them. They?re so realistic and fun to play with.

Lucy: Jimmy is being shocked by one.

Announcer: Hahahaha. Kids and their imaginations these days. So buy new Eel cracker snacks and get a charge out of them!

[SIZE=1]Jabroni Productions are not responsible if any child suffers a terrible side effect from the eels. No refunds neither.[/SIZE]


Narrator: (is eating Eel cracker snacks) Mmm? shocking. And we?re back. Last we left off, Arch Nemesis and General Wes returned back to their base to plan out the evil plot storming in Arch?s head. Goat went home to watch TV.

Arch Nemesis: Alright, General Wes. I have a plan that will help us capture Goatman and get his ONLY WEAKNESS so we can use it against him!

General Wes: Really, sir.

Arch Nemesis: Yes. Behold! (he takes a cloth off a big machine) OUR TIME MACHINE!

General Wes: Wow. Are we gonna use that?

Arch Nemesis: No. It?s just for kicks. The real object we?re using is this. (he takes out a small machine from his pocket) It makes anyone tell me what I want them to tell me. I call it my Truth-teller.

General Wes: Creative sir.

Arch Nemesis: Yes. Watch. (he points it at Wes and pushes the button)

General Wes: (stands still like in zombie-mode) I wear pink underwear.

Arch Nemesis: Hahahaha! (slaps knee)

General Wes: Not funny. (he takes the gadget and uses it on Arch)

Arch Nemesis: (stands stiff) I like eating my own boogers.

General Wes: That?s sick, sir.

Arch Nemesis: I was only kidding. That machine doesn?t tell the truth.

General Wes: Sure sir. And I don?t wear pink underwear. Oh wait? DOH!

Arch Nemesis: Now to test it! To the Nemesis-Mobile!

General Wes: Wait, sir. Remember what happened last time?

Arch Nemesis: Hmm?

(goes into a flash back)

Arch Nemesis: (frolicking with little gnomes in a garden of flowers) Hehe! (licks a giant lollipop and eats a big cookie)

Mickey Rooney: (pops out and jumps about with him)

(flash back ends)

General Wes: What was that? That didn?t even happen.

Arch Nemesis: Oh. That was my happy place. Wait. You could see that?

General Wes: Well, yeah. It kind of erased the whole screen and played the flash back right before us.

Arch Nemesis: Oh yeah? er? let?s just go.

Narrator: And so they did. But will Goatman be able to escape this one? Will that machine reveal the truth? Does General Wes really wear pink undies? Find out after this commercial break!


Jimmy: (playing with a toy robot)

Announcer: Bet you think that toy is boring.

Jimmy: AH! Where did you come from?

Announcer: Well, say no more. I have an even better toy.

Jimmy: Did you break in my house? The door was locked.

Announcer: (takes the robot)

Jimmy: Hey!

Announcer: Here. Take this! (gives him a stick)

Jimmy: A stick?

Announcer: Not a stick. It?s THE stick! Fun for all!

Jimmy: How can a stick be fun?

Announcer: Why, you could sword fight, use it for a piñata, or even bugging your mother over a hot, burning stove.

Jimmy: (tries to poke him with the stick)

Announcer: (grabs the stick) Try it and suffer terribly. (turns back to audience) And so, everyone, THE stick is THE best present ever.

Jimmy: Who you talking to?

Announcer: Quiet. (smiles)



Narrator: Now then? (puts down bag of Eels) Last we left off was where Goat was chilling in his home watching the tube when Arch and Wes busted in. Goat quickly put on his suit and became Goatman.

Arch Nemesis: Did you see that, General Wes?

General Wes: Sure did, sir.

Arch Nemesis: He just hid that goat to protect it. Now we must fight him.

General Wes: But your injuries. And why not use the machine.

Arch Nemesis: Oh right. Machine. HA HA! (shoots it at Goatman)

Goatman: (becomes stiff) I like cottage cheese.

Arch Nemesis: Well, who doesn?t?

General Wes: I don?t, sir.

Arch Nemesis: No one asked you.

Goatman: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago?

Arch Nemesis: I could ask the same thing.

Goatman: My ONLY WEAKNESS is?

Arch Nemesis: Yes? Yes??

Goatman: Is?

Arch Nemesis: What? What is it? (machine turns off and Goatman is free) What the?

Machine: Batteries low. Batteries low.

Arch Nemesis: Darn it all! I knew I shouldn?t of chose Mega-Batt Batteries instead of Energizer. Uh oh.

Goatman: Ragh! (beats them up)

Narrator: Even though Arch and Wes were able to escape, they were badly injured and didn?t get back their Truth Device. But what Goatman found on the device was a command where the person they used it on said what the user wanted to hear. Uh oh. Where?s Goat going with that machine.

Sign on Building: ?Important-Looking building with Important-Looking people who get paid a lot?

Manager: I will give Goat a job here. In fact, he?s now Vice President.


Goat: Hehe. (waves Truth Device)

Narrator: Silly Goat.

THE END


This show was brought to you by the makers of Jabroni Paste: The toothpaste that makes your teeth shine a greenish color. And it tastes like Jabroni goodness. Mmm mm. Get some today! (teeth pings)

[Shinobi]

LMAO! too good! lol, stoopid Arch! I luv the commercials! lol i think you should make your own post of funny commercials lmao!

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Haha, this is great! I love your work...I now officially dub you funny boy...
Aries: >gets smacked around by DW< Never..mind....

[quote]
Jimmy: Who you talking to?

Announcer: Quiet. (smiles)[/quote]

Love it :D
[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Hehe. Ah yes. Silly Jimmy. And stupid Arch. and funny Gavin. But enough of that. Episode 3 is on it's way. Expect it tomorrow.

(To Shinobi) If I make my own thread of commercials, what would I use to entertain my people when reading K&L or Goatman? ^^ You obviously don't think the stories are the funny parts do you? It's all the commercials. JK. Hmm...

[Dragon Warrior]

Sorry for the delay. Here's Epi 3.


[SIZE=4]GOATMAN[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Episode 3
"Is There a Doctor in the House?"[/SIZE]

Guy: (standing on the top of a 10-story building?s ledge)

Announcer: (pops up) Hi!

Guy: AH! Don?t scare me like that!

Announcer: Feeling low?

Guy: Yeah.

Announcer: Hate your life?

Guy: Yeah. In fact, I?m going to end it by jumping off this-

Announcer: Then you need the new CD from Jabroni Productions called ?Jump?.

Guy: Jump?

Announcer: Jump.

Guy: Jump?

Announcer: YES! Jump!

Guy: Okay. (jumps)

Announcer: The CD even includes a parachute for some odd reason. (throws the CD into the guy?s hands and the parachute releases)

Guy: Aw shoot.

Announcer: So buy it today? IF YOU KNOW WHAT?S GOOD FOR YA? (smiles)


Narrator: Today we start our show in an evil mad scientist?s castle.

Doctor: I am a doctor. Not a scientist. My name is Dr. Ego And I shall destroy Goatman! Muhahahahaha!

Narrator: Yeah, whatever.

Dr. Ego: I have a plan to serve him this broth in a soup he shall order tonight at a restaurant. When he drinks it, Hashanah? shall I say more?

Audience: Yes!

Dr. Ego: Oh. Okay. He shall drink the broth and die! Muahahahahahha!

(lightning flashes in background)

Dr. Ego: Woah. Arch Nemesis wasn?t kidding when he said something about that lightning. But now, I must finish mixing the broth for Goatman?s last meal! Muhahahaha!

Narrator: Uh oh. It looks like Goatman?s in for a bad meal tonight. But we find out hero busting up some bad guys in an alley.

Goatman: Stop right there!

Bad Guy1: It?s Goatman!

Bad Guy2: Yous better not mess wits us or yous will gets a beating.

Goatman: Oh yeah? You and what army?

Bad Guy1: Nots from us. From our boss.

Goatman: Your boss?

(suddenly, a small man about half Goatman?s size walks out and steps up to Goatman)

Boss: Yeah. Me. You wanna fight. Bring it. (starts hitting Goatman)

Goatman: (looks up) What the? He?s not even hurting me. (picks up the boss by the back of his shirt) I feel like I?m gonna break him. (throws him into a trash can)

Bad Guy1: Yous can?t treat our boss likes that!

Bad Guy2: Yeah! Yous gonna pay dearly now!

(They jump Goatman, but miss and Goatman smacks the two up and tosses them into

trashcans next to the boss?s)

Goatman: The police should arrive soon. Stay put unless you want another beating. (stomach growls) Wow. I need to eat. I?ll go to that restaurant.

Narrator: And so, Goatman goes to that restaurant. But little did he know, Dr. Ego was planning on serving him his evil poisonous broth!

Dr. Ego: (watching TV and eating popcorn at his house. Jumps up and down at the horror film) Don?t go in there! That?s where the monster is!

Narrator: Ahem? the broth.

Dr. Ego: What? Oh crap! I gotta get there and serve it to him! (gets dressed and grabs his broth and runs out to the restaurant next door to his castle which was located in Town Town)

Goatman: (seats himself) Hm. Soup looks good.

Narrator: HOLD IT!

(Screen freezes)

Narrator: Tell me exactly how Dr. Ego knew Goatman was dining at that restaurant and how he magically knew he wanted soup. Huh? Tell me that. C?mon. Hey! Don?t start rolling the film again! I?m talking you little-

(film starts again)

Goatman: Waiter! Waiter!

Waiter that looks like Dr. Ego with a mustache: Yes, sir?

Goatman: I?d like the Dr. Ego special soup, please.

Dr. Ego Waiter: Very good sir.

Goatman: And how much is that?

Dr. Ego Waiter: For you, it?s free.

Goatman: What? Really? Wow.

Dr. Ego Waiter: (faces his back on Goatman and laughs diabolically)

Goatman: What?s so funny?

Dr. Ego Waiter: (stops laughing) Umm? one of the waiters dropped food and spilled it everywhere.

Goatman: Oh. That?s not funny.

Dr. Ego Waiter: (turns around) WELL IT IS TO ME!

Goatman: Okay. Okay.

Dr. Ego Waiter: (walks off laughing. His mustache falls off revealing Dr. Ego)

Narrator: Oh my goodness! Who saw that coming! I sure didn?t! Will he actually be able to poison Goatman? Will this be the last episode when it?s only the 3rd? How much is the soup really? All these questions (except maybe the last one) will be answered in the next part of Goatman after this commercial break!


Guy: (sitting on a bench in the park)

Announcer: (pops up out of the bush nearby) HEY!

Guy: ACK! (collapses in shock)

Announcer: Tired of those sour back pains?

Guy: (gets up) What sour back pa-

Announcer: Precisely! After using this magical potion brewed by the Wicked Witch of the West you?ll feel younger.

Guy: How much younger?

Announcer: Most likely one year previous when you still had back pains.

Guy: Then what?s the good in this product.

Announcer: Nothing! (smiles at audience)


Narrator: (Shuffles the script pages) Ahem? yeah? when we last left Goatman, Dr. Ego was about to serve him his special soup? FOR FREE! What a deal.


Dr. Ego: Here you are, sir. (places down the soup and his mustache falls in it)

Goatman: Umm? your hair fell off. Good God! It?s Dr. Ego!

Dr. Ego: What? How did you know it was me? You?ve never met me before. Not even heard of me. I haven?t even committed any crimes yet.

Goatman: I just saw your name tag your wearing, but you are going to commit crimes? Your coming with me. (gets up out of his seat)

Dr. Ego: Not so fast! (grabs a nearby woman and takes a cucumber out his apron and points it to her head) Another step closer and she gets it.

Goatman: Umm? (motions his head at the vegetable)

Dr. Ego: Huh? (looks down) Oh. My bad. (he replaces it with a gun) Now, one step closer and-AWW! You know the rest!

Goatman: Now calm down. You don?t want to do this.

Dr. Ego: Actually, I kind of do. It seems like fun for a newly-born criminal.

Goatman: Really?

Dr. Ego: Yes. In fact, ever sense I was little, since 2nd grade I believe, I wanted to be a criminal and my father was always like, ?Boy! Before you become a criminal, I got-? (is knocked out by Goatman)

People in restaurant: Hey! We wanted to hear the rest!

Guy: (stands up) Hey! Let?s maul him!

People: Yeah!

Goatman: (backs away and jumps out the window, running down the street)

People: (chase him)

Narrator: Uh oh. This looks like trouble. How will Goatman get out of this one? Will he ever be able to arrest Dr. Ego? And where is Arch Nemesis in this episode?

Arch Nemesis: (sitting in a field of flowers) Aren?t daisies lovely, General Wes?

General Wes: Sure are, sir.

Narrator: Find out after this short commercial break that makes no sense!


Announcer: And now it?s time for-

[SIZE=3] Let?s Talk with Arch [/SIZE]

Arch Nemesis: (Looks at audience) Oh. Hello. I?m Arch Nemesis. You may remember me from the series ?Goatman? and the movie ?Exotic Babes and a Cruise Ship? and no I?m not Archie from the comic series. I?m here to chat it up with some people. Here today is Steven Spielberg. Hey ya, Steve.

Steven: Hey there, Arch.

Arch: So, Stevie. I can call you Stevie, right?

Steven: No.

Arch: So, Stevie, what movies are you planning on making?

Steven: Well, there is-

Arch: Great. (pushes a button and Steven falls in a hole) That?s all the time we have for today. Join me again for-

[SIZE=3] Let?s Talk with Arch [/SIZE]

Audience: (applauds)


Narrator: (snoring) Wha-what? Oh. we?re back on. Okay. Now where were we? Salami or something? Oh. Now I remember. We last left Goatman when he was being chased by an angry mob. What will he do? Who cares! (goes back to sleep)

Goatman: Must? think? (thinks and a big light bulb appears over his head. He throws the light bulb and it knocks over the crowd) Haha! Uh oh.

(some of the crowd survived the attack and became faster)

Goatman: Wait a minute. I can fly. (flies)

Crowd: Aww?

Goatman: (hits a building)

Crowd: Yay!

Goatman: (lands safely)

Crowd: Aww?

Goatman: (gets hit by a truck)

Crowd: Yay!

Goatman: (eats ice cream from that truck)

Crowd: Ya-uh? aww? umm?

Guy: Let?s just get him!

Crowd: Yeah! (runs after Goatman)

Goatman: (is suddenly picked up by Arch Nemesis on a hang glider) Wha?

Arch Nemesis: Now I have you. Hahahaha! See! I am in this episode after all! Hahaha- (hit?s a speeding jet)

Goatman: (lands safely in his home) Aww?

Narrator: (sucking his thumb and holding his teddy bear. Is poke by a stick) Wha-what? Oh. Umm? five more minutes? (gets poked again) OKAY! So, what happened? (is informed of what happened) Is that it? That?s the simplest way they could think of Goatman to escape? My God! (looks at script) ACK! The way the crowd forgets all about the incident is far worse! Well, they forget all about it the next day. Stupid, right? As for Dr. Ego?

Dr. Ego: (wakes up) Wha-what happened?

Narrator: Ask the guy that told me.

Dr. Ego: Oh. Okay. Thanks. (walks back to his castle next to the restaurant)

Narrator: Meanwhile, Goat plots on how to find Dr. Ego)

Goat: So he lives in a castle. Where am I going to find a castle? My God!


Narrator: Umm? yeah? so Goat?s adventures for one day are over. And people are safe! I have a crazy for soup now?

THE END

This show was brought to you by NOTHING AT ALL! Literally, nothing. Nobody bothered to bring it to you. Crazy, huh. Yeah. So, nothing. It?s everywhere.

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Haha! This one is the best yet!

[quote](Screen freezes)

Narrator: Tell me exactly how Dr. Ego knew Goatman was dining at that restaurant and how he magically knew he wanted soup. Huh? Tell me that. C?mon. Hey! Don?t start rolling the film again! I?m talking you little-

(film starts again)
[/quote]

:laugh:
[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Ah yes. Priceless moments. I am already working on Epiode 4. It will be on tonight, probably. Yay! Don't miss it!

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1]LOL! There is another thread like this, yet not [b]near[/b] as funny. (It's about a sheep...:twitch: ) Anyway, great job; keep 'em comin'! Thatta boy![/color][/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

A sheep? Curious. I wanna read. I like comedy junk. And sorry people for the delay. I have lots going on right now. Episode 4 in a few hours!

[Dragon Warrior]

Okay. As I promised.

[SIZE=4]GOATMAN![/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Episode 4
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARCH!"[/SIZE]


Guy: (whistling and walking down the road)

Announcer: (jumps up out of nowhere) hey!

Guy: What in the blue hell!

Announcer: Want to make money?

Guy: I already do.

Announcer: In a simpler way?

Guy: You mean like taxes?

Announcer: No. Try again.

Guy: Borrowing money?

Announcer: WAY OFF! In fact, I?ll show you. (runs into a bank and points a gun to the banker) Give me all your money! (runs outside to the guy) It?s that simple!

Guy: You just robbed a bank.

Announcer: Yes! Yes I did. (smiles)

Guy: There?s police coming.

Announcer: Here. Enjoy. (shoves the money in the guy?s hands and runs off)


Narrator: This episode is a special one! It?s Arch?s Christmas special! Oh wait? birthday. My bad.

Arch Nemesis: (wakes up)


Alarm Clock: RIIIIIIIIIIINMG (gets smashed)

Arch Nemesis: (leaps from bed and into his slippers) Ah! It?s a great day! Why? Because it?s my birthday! I bet my millions of minions got me presents. Every last one of them. And General Wes got me something HUGE! I must go see!

General Wes: (pouring coffee)

Arch Nemesis: (slips up to his side) What are you doing today, General Wes?

General Wes: Making coffee, sir.

Arch: Is it special BIRTHDAY coffee?

General Wes: No. Cappuccino.

Arch: Oh? (shuffles feet) So? umm? know what today is?

General Wes: Tuesday.

Arch: No! It?s a holiday!

General Wes: It is?

Arch: Yes!

General Wes: Really?

Arch: Yes!

General Wes: What holiday?

Arch: A birthday! You know who?s birthday it is?

Minion: Yeah! It?s Harry?s birthday!

Harry: (gets picked up and cheered for)

Some Guy: You?re the man, Harry!

Arch: Wha-what?

Minion2: We all chipped in to buy you this new car.


People: Ooo?

Minion3: And this giant shaver which you could probably use on that giant chimp over there! He likes music too.

People: Aww?

Chimp: Ragh!

Arch: Wait a min-

Minion: And of course, it took us all night, but we made this HUGE cake!

Arch: That?s enough! It?s my birthday! It?s mine, mine, mine, mine MINE!!

Minion: It is?

People: I didn?t know. Did you? No. Wow.

Arch: How could you not know? I posted it all around the evil lair! Can?t you see that giant flashing sign completely covering the east wall saying ?Arch Nemesis?s Birthday! Give him gifts!?

Random Person: Hey! There?s a flashing sign!

Everyone: (crowds around the sign in awe)

Arch: Argh! It?s in the evil calendars I send everyone.

Minion2: No it isn?t.

Minion203: Yeah. It must says ?Harry?s Birthday?.

Arch: Let me see that! (grabs it and looks it over) Hey! My name is crossed out and Harry is put in. It?s not even Harry?s birthday ?til December!

Harry: Oops. (is dropped on the floor and tossed out the door)

Private Sloth: Hey everyone! It?s Harry?s birthday.

Arch: Umm? yeah. Thanks, Private Sloth. God he?s slow. Now then, you guys didn?t really have to get me all this stuff.

People: (starts pushing gifts out the door to return)

Arch: hey, hey, hey! You didn?t have to, but I want them.


People: Oh. Okay. (puts them back)

Arch: Now then, I have a birthday wish. BRING GOATMAN TO ME SO WE CAN FINISH HIM OFF! I?ll make it my birthday AND Christmas present since it?s such a big one. Now go!

Narrator: Uh oh. Seems like Arch Nemesis is thinking big! What will happen next. Find out after this crappy commercial!


Announcer: Welcome to Bill?s Quote of the Day! Heeeeeeeeere?s Bill!

Bill: Ahem. To-

Announcer: Thaaaaaaat?s Bill!

Bill: I didn?t fini-

Announcer: See ya next time!


Narrator: Umm? yeah. We need a new sponsor. Now then, last we left Arch, he was after Goatman for his birthday present. Let?s see what?s up with Goatman. Oh my! He just saved some people from a raging fire!

Goatman: (places the people on the ground and hovers in the air) There you are. I just saved you from a raging fire.

Some People: Thank you, Goatman!

Goatman: Yep. Now, up, up, and somewhere else!!!! (flies into a tree and falls down) Ow?

Minion47809: (talks into his walkie talkie) I?ve spotted him. Over.

Minion239: (talks into his walkie talkie as well) I see him as well. Over. Hehe. These cups on a string are fun.

Minion47809: Sure are!

Arch: Just beat him up!

Minion239: Right, sir.


(and so they beat Goatman up and knocked him out)

Narrator: Later, in the evil lair, Goatman wakes up?

Arch: Hahahaha! Now that you?ve wakened up after 3 hours, we can finally kill you!

General Wes: Umm? sir.

Arch: What?

General Wes: Why didn?t you just kill him while he was unconscious?

Arch: For God sakes, General Wes, stop with the easy ways out! You make us look bad. Especially on my birthday.

Goatman: It?s your birthday?

Arch: Darn right. Don?t tell me you didn?t know neither.

Goatman: Can?t say I did.

Arch: What? You?d think your mortal enemy would remember when your birthday is. How long have we been foes?

Goatman: About 3 episodes. 4 if you include this one.

Arch: See. Perfect amount of time to find out my birthday.

Goatman: But you were always hunting me down and I didn?t have time to-

Arch: Pish posh. You failed at being a good enemy!

Goatman: Sorry.

Arch: Sorry doesn?t cut it! But this knife does. (takes out a knife) It?s very handy around the kitchen. And it comes in many sizes and in a complimentary wooden case. (holds up the case of knives)

Minions: Ooo? awww?

Arch: Now then? YOU SHALL DIE, GOATMAN!

Narrator: Uh oh. Will Arch Nemesis be able to destroy Goatman or will Goatman escape? You guess? Find out after this terribly ridiculous commercial break!

Theme song: Cheesy Wheezy Puffs! They are so yummy!
When you are down, get rid of that frown and fill up your tummy!

Announcer: That?s right! Cheesy Wheezy Puffs are so delicious you?ll want to eat them ?til you become terribly sick to your stomach! Isn?t that right, Timmy?

Timmy: I don?t feel so good.

Announcer: Precisely. In fact, you should only have to eat 4 bites before collapsing to the ground in a painful way. (whispers to Timmy ?eat some more?)

Timmy: But I don?t like them? (shaking)

Announcer: I said eat more! (turns back to the audience and smiles) Mmm mm? good.

Timmy: (collapses to the ground and not moving)

Announcer: Hahaha. Kids these days. So buy Cheesy Wheezy Puffs and see what side effect you?ll have besides enjoying them!

Theme song: Cheesy Wheezy Puffs! They are so yummy!
When you are down, get rid of that frown and fill up your tummy!


Narrator: (collapses to the ground) My stomach! Oh!!! (drops bag of Cheesy Wheezy Puffs) Last? we? left? off? Arch Nemesis was? about to? kill Goatman? let?s watch? (grab and paper sack and runs into the other room)

Arch Nemesis: MUHAHAHAHAHA! Now then, General Wes, take this set of knives to the kitchen. I have some destroying to do.

Goatman: (finally notices he?s not tied up and leaps at Arch and kicks him)

Arch: Ouchies! (flies into a toilet that was in the middle of the room [reason unknown])

Goatman: Bring it on, everyone. (kicks everyone and beats them up)

Minion32: NO! NO! I don?t wanna be ki- (gets kicked into the screen and cracks it)

Goatman: Whoops.

Arch: (pulls his head out of the toilet) Get him giant chimp!

Chimp: RAGH! (runs after Goatman) RAGH! (eats a banana) RAGH! (runs after Goatman again)

Goatman: (turns around and kicks the monkey in the nose)

Chimp: (holds his nose. He then whimpers) Hmm? (turns around and runs after Arch)

Arch: Hey now! No! NO! (gets beaten down)

Narrator: (returns from the bathroom) Woah. Yuck. Umm? where were we? Oh yeah. Luckily the chimp attacked Arch. It gave Goatman time to escape and return home in the new car with a piece of the cake. Uh oh. (runs back to the bathroom)

Goat: (eating cake and watching TV) I wonder how Arch is doing with the chimp.

Arch: (is being choked by the chimp) Don?t stop? ack! Playing the? ack! Music, General Wes!

General Wes: (is playing the violin) I?m doing my best, sir.

Chimp: RAGH!

Arch: CURSE YOU, GOATMAN! (sighs) Who else has a craving for bananas?


THE END


This show was brought to you by Starney the Mucky Green-colored Dinosaur. He?s discusting and nobody loves him, but he still keeps on trying.

Starney: (drinking soda and watching TV) Yeah. Whatever.

GO STARNEY!

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1]:rotflmao: Oh dear god, that was [b]too[/b] funny![/color][/size]

[starlight]

hahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaha where do you think up this stuff?? Man I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe! :D :D :D

[Kinetic]

[quote]
Arch: Sorry doesn?t cut it! But this knife does. (takes out a knife) It?s very handy around the kitchen. And it comes in many sizes and in a complimentary wooden case. (holds up the case of knives) [/quote]
[color=darkblue]
:laugh: Sounds like the Truman Show (that movie with Jim Carrey). "Look what I got honey." >insert announcer-type voice< "It's a three bladed knife, used for chopping, slicing, and dicing! And look at all the nifty features.."and blah blah blah.

I love it :D
[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Heh. Episode 5 is today. It'll be a special one. The enemy will be someone new ;)

[Boo]

Yay! I finally readed this and wew! I was really LOL.
Ill wait a min for the next one

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1] It's been a few days and there's still no eppie up?! *dies from Goatman deprivation* Please hurry for those like me...you know, the ones with no life. :D[/color][/size]

[Dragon Warrior]

Man, next time I say I'm gonna make an episode in that same day, don't expect it. Lots of things have been going on this week. I've been tied up in it all. Here it is.


[SIZE=4]GOATMAN![/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Episode 5
"Dog Gone It!"[/SIZE]


Announcer: You?ve seen Homeward Bound 1.

Little Boy: Your back, chance! (sniffs his dog) Woah! Where have you been?

Announcer: And Homeward Bound 2.

Dad: Darn those dogs!

Announcer: Now you can see Homeward Bound 3! IN Surround Sound.

Little boy: C?mon, dad. We must find Chance.

Older Boy: Yeah. What about Shadow?

Dad: I don?t give a rip about your dogs. They ran away. it?s their fault! So take it to the bank and deposit that!

Girl: (runs off crying)

Announcer: It?s fun for the whole family. So see it this August!

[SIZE=1] Show contains strong language and not for the whole family. [/SIZE]


Narrator: Welcome to Goatman! I think I?m getting the hang of this job. In fact, Goatman is the greatest show ev-wait a minute. This script sucks. You tricked me in trying to say this! (rips up script) Get someone else to do the show.

Network Producer: Now who are we gonna get to host the show?

Arch Nemesis: Ya know, General Wes, I find peanut shells to be fascinating with their rumples and salty taste.

General Wes: Yes sir.

Network producer: Hmm? He may work. (walks past Arch Nemesis and takes a hobo) Your our new show host.

Hobo: My mom always did say I had talent.

Network Producer: yeah, yeah. Talent. Whatever.

Hobo: (chokes on a piece of meteor from 5 light years away and passes out)

Arch: Whoa. What are the chances of that?

Network Producer: Well, Arch, I guess it?s your show.

Arch Nemesis: Excellent. (rubs hands together)


Arch: Welcome to Arch?s Show where I host some show about a guy? I mean Goat that has super powers. (wiggles fingers) I find that you people will enjoy this show. (sticks finger in ear and picks at earwax) Yes. And my assistant, General Wes will be here to help as well. (pulls out finger and waves the earwax at Wes) What do you think about that?

General Wes: Nauseating.

Arch: Huh? How can a show be nauseating? Oh well. On with the show.

We find Goatman rescuing some people blah blah blah? God. No wonder the narrator quit. Huh? (looks at camera man) Oh right. Ahem? and over at the dog race tracks a new event emerges. A dog race! Wow. Unexpected.

Dog Show Announcer: Wow, ladies and gentlemen, what an exciting day for dog races. We have champion dogs like The Master of Racing, Speed Demon, and everyone?s favorite, That Was My Shoe You Just Ate.

Audience: (cheers)

Arch: What?s this? It seems that a suspicious person is standing in the shadows. Hey! That?s my job!

Suspicious Person: Muhahahaha! Soon, they shall pay for what they did to me, Y2K9 which is really a retarded name. Those people that named me should pay as well. (steps out into the light revealing a hideous monster! Then moves the monster aside and reveals himself! he?s a dog!) Hahahahahaha-cough cough! Hack!

Arch: Well maybe next time you?ll think twice before guzzling a bucket of jalapenos.

Y2K9: Right.

Arch: And so, Y2K9 cracks a mysterious EVIL plan to ruin the dog races.

Y2K9: I never said I was going to ruin the dog races. I?m just gonna do something to some people.

Arch: Oh right. Sorry. Now? umm? what?s next? let?s see.. (looks at script) Ah yes. Line of questions. What will Y2K9 do? Will Goatman be there to help? How much could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Find out after this commercial break.


[B]It?s the
Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky
Mishmash Mooman
Woo![/B]

Announcer: That?s right folks. The Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo is here!

Guy: The what?

Announcer: The Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo!

Guy: What?s with the long name.

Announcer: The Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo is so great, it has a special way of doing things. Wow.

Guy: What does the Wicky Hicky Gosnatch Oscar Award I-Er! What does it do?

Announcer: It?s so great it does stuff.

Guy: Yes, but what does it do?

Announcer: Why, it-

Screen: We interrupt this commercial for a Emergency Broadcast System Test. I just had t test out this new game console I bought and I thought you might like to see. I mean, wow. It?s so cool! Check it out! Super Dario Brothers! And look! I got Spiderman the Movie game and I?m so freakin? awesome at it and-what? Okay? We?re returning to our show?

Announcer: ?and that?s what it does.

Guy: But that Emergency thing came on and I didn?t hear a thing you just said.

Announcer: Precisely. (teeth ping) So go out to the stores and buy this useless, but fun Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo today!

[SIZE=1] Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo?s are not sold in any store near you or near anyone for that matter so get off your butt and go get a life. [/SIZE]


Arch: We?re back and stuff. We now see the dog races have started. And guess who?s in that race. You guessed it! That Was My Shoe That You Just Ate! He?ll win and you know it. But who also is in the race is Y2K9. He?s just one step closer to his evil plan.

Y2K9: I?m one step closer to the edge, and I?m about to break! (plays Linkin Park and everyone jams)

Arch: (whoops out his disco suit and dances to the beat) This is wiggy, aye General Wes?

General Wes: Groovy, sir.

Arch: Oo ah. Oo ah. You know, we could really use something in here.

General Wes: Like what sir?

Arch: Like a Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo. Those things are cool.

General Wes: Yes. Very wiggy.

Arch: (leaps back in chair) Ahem. Goatman rushes to the scene of the crime which is the dog races and-wait a minute. How did he know Y2K9 was going to do some crime?

Goatman: I looked at the script while you were dancing. It said that your suppose to say he?s going to do some crime.

Arch: Oh right. Well? (rips out pages not needed) Carry on.

Goatman: Right. (flies to the scene)

Arch: I need a new day job.

Y2K9: (finishes the race second against That Was My Shoe You Just Ate) Perfect. Even if I got second, it can?t ruin my plans. In fact, I didn?t want 1st or it would ruin my plans. Keep winning That Was My Shoe You Just Ate for you shall pay for our past lives!

(lightning flashes)

Y2K9: Oh for crying out loud. That?s the third episode it?s done that. Get the lights fixed.

Arch: And so, Goatman makes it to the dog race track, but doesn?t spot Y2K9 anywhere. I feel an action scene approaching. Uh oh.

Goatman: I bet he?s batching evil plots somewhere. I?ll just enjoy the show ?til I see him.

Arch: Later, after the show ended?

Goatman: Man, that was a good show. Oh crap! I forgot about Y2K9!

Arch: Bum bum bummm?

Network Producer: Um? you don?t have to do sound effects. We have a sound effect machine, ya know.

Arch: Not even the Bum bum bumm part?

Network Producer: No. Not even the Bum bum bumm part.

Arch: Oh c?mon. I can do great sounds.

Network Producer: Really. That?s great.

Arch: ya know, I did the Meep Meep sounds for the Roadrunner.

Network Producer: Uh huh.

Arch: I was the Roadrunner.

Network Producer: Great.

Arch: here. Try these sounds. Ka-room! Oobie da! Ooo oo! Here?s a car honk. HONK!

Network Producer: Could we get back to the-

Arch: (farts) Whoops. That one was not my mouth.

Network producer: For God sakes get on with the show! (puts in a nose plug)

Goatman: (spots Y2K9 walking up to the announcer?s booth and enters) Holy Heart Failure and Klondike bars! There he goes! (rushes up to the booth and opens the door) Oh my! AHHHHHH!!!

Arch: What did Goatman just see? Did Y2K9 do something bad? Did he leave a nono in the announcer?s shoe? find out after this commercial break. or read the script like I do.

Network producer: Shhh! That?s our secret!

Arch: Oh. Right.


Announcer: Hello. I?m Marty Mart Martin and I work for The Hourglass Retirement Home. Here, we love our customers.

Worker: You just think you can watch what ever you want? Listen lady, this retirement home only plays one channel and if you don?t like Barnet 24/7, you can just GET OUT!

Announcer: We will take extra care of your old folks.

Old Man: I?m sick.

Worker: Oh. I?m sorry. You must?ve mistaken me for someone who gives a rip!

Announcer: And the home itself is astounding.

Old Woman: There?s bats in my room.

Worker: Let me see. (walks into the dusty old room that?s falling apart) I don?t see anything wrong with it. I?d love this room. What are you? A premadonna? You gotta have it perfect?

Old Woman: No, but look, it?s trash. The couch is just a blanket covered with dog hair.

Worker: That?s not dog hair.

Announcer: And we keep everything in excellent condition.

Old Woman: My room is cold.

Worker: Oh. The air conditioner is broken so live with it!

Old Woman: I thought it was the fact that my room has no wall, but okay.

Announcer: So bring your loved ones down to Hourglass Retirement Home!

If Your old and frail, expired and stail,
COME ON DOWN!


Arch: (dances) Booyah, baby! Oh. We?re back. (rips off disco suit) We last left off where Goatman opened the door revealing something that made him scream like a girl! Let?s see what happened.

Goatman: AHHHH!!!

Y2K9: What is it?

Goatman: A spider! Kill it, kill it, kill it!

Y2K9: (crushes it) Now can I get back to what I was doing with That Was My Shoe You Just Ate?

Goatman: Stop that crime your doing!

Y2K9: Crime? I?m just paying That Was My Shoe You Just Ate for the haircut he trimmed for me. He?s my barber.

Arch: Well, THAT was unexpected.

Goatman: I?ll say. (turns back to Y2K9) So I guess no criminal is in this episode.

Y2K9: Yep.

Arch: Not so fast!

Goatman: Hubbawha?

Arch: I now have control over the show! I can do my evil deeds at last!

Narrator: I?m back to take back my show.

Arch: Awww dang it.

Narrator: And so the day is saved by me because I wanted this crumby job back and the only other option was the Hobo?s Express train outside the studio.

Hobo: So come on down!

THE END

This show was brought to you by Wicky Hicky Boombom Sicky Mishmash Mooman Woo! Fun for everyone!

[SIZE=1] Must be 4000 years old to play with it. [/SIZE]

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Haha! This one was great! I especially liked the small little jokes, and the commercials.

Aries: You never cease to amuse me, Gavin. I can call you Gavin right?
Dragon Warrior: No
Aries: You never cease to amuse me Gavin :D
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