Writing Depression...

[Shinkoru]

[COLOR=blue] Here's a poem I wrote called depression. Tell me what you think.(Yes I know it does not rhyme)

[B] Staring at the wall, sititng all alone, silent tears falling gently down your face.
You didn't see it coming, until it was to late...
You wished you would have notied yourself slipping down, slowly.. before you coudl help it, you were drowing.
The darkness all around, swolling you whole.
You try to scream, but no sound comes out, you fight to get to the surface, you can see it, inches away, you struggle, but just sink in deeper...
The pain is unbearable the tears now blend in with the darkness, swollign you whole.. drowning you in a pool of depression...[/B][/COLOR]

[Trumen]

That was a nice but depressing poem.

[Shinkoru]

[COLOR=blue]Theirs more to it. I guess I'll put it. I just finished writing it. So heres the rest.
____________________________________________________

[B]....it finally got you.
Pulled you down with it, swriling your mind in the abyss and darkness. A flash of silver a drip of red and it would all be over. You sit pondering what to do. The darkness closing in and ever present.
The distant glint in your eyes tells everyone its coming to an end. You look over your arm slowly. thinking over the conquences. No you jump I jump now. this isn't the movies. Knowing he jumped only three days ago. A promise made. Glint of sliver, red everywhere. A mornful cry.. A promise kept.[/B][/COLOR]

[Mike]

Hm..nicely done. I like it, even though it's depressing. lol. Very creative. One of the best free form poems i've seen. :)

[Phantom]

I am amazed at how open you are with your poetry my love. A sentiment of gloom and remorse that would put even Richard Simmons into a lulling deppressive state... Excellent..ide say keep up the good work but it wouldnot sound right... I thikn your work is touching and I thank you for being able to state your feelings so well. I love you...

[color=sienna][b]Ecliptic Percussions:[/b]

Standing alone with the wind in your face,
Your eyes mingle with the billowing gusts of transparent hate,
Clashing to the end of an inconspicuous fate,

Delivering the release in an subtle place,
Taking with you the love only to submerse you with the pain?
Spew through the doors of this time wrought demented fane.

Again, seek your release into the dark shroud of obscurity, only to be frayed from the very existence you love and worship?

The end only denotes the beginning of something worse, signifying the recursion of your most ample dark element.

M.S. Hunter[/color]

[Shinkoru]

Thank you for the comment. If I find my notebook I'll post more i have but. Tkz. Ad i Like ur poem. heh

[Mike]

Oooooooooooo! :eek:

Wondeful! :D These are good!

Keep writing guys, I want to see more! :whoops:

[Shinkoru]

[COLOR=blue]Here we go, a lil brighter and more cheery. :)
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[B][size=4] My Pledge[/size]

Take my heart and take my soul,
if you take it, take it whole.
Love me true and love me deep,
my heart and sould you'll forever keep.[/B]

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How Ya like that one?¿?¿
OOO, here try this...

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[B] [size=4]The Judgement Gate[/size]
(an AH! My Goddess! spin off poem)

I look it over, standing tall and luminating, like an angel of death ready to wisk your love away from me.
Holing his hand, I look beside me. I gaze lovingly in to his eyes and tell ihm I love him.
We share a kiss and walk forward, taking one weak step after another.
Reaching the gate we pause. I grip his hand tightly as we take one more step.
A step that would decide our fate.
My mind races through the possiblitites in an instant. What if we don't make it, what if I dont love him enough to make it through, what if..what if,... my heart quickly slaps me.
I know I love him enough, i know he love me.. we will make it..
A warm feeling passes over us as we walk through the watery gateway.
Exiting on the other side I squeeze his hand tightly.
He squeezes mine back.
Tears flood my eyes as I turn to hug him. I tell him I love him a hundred times, as he does the same to me.
Now I finally know, its a definate, our love is strong and pure. Now I can face everyday, knowing, no matter what happens, we will make it through...[/B]

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Well, What do you think?? Good huh? Maby. Oh Yeah, both thoes, are to Phantom, michael, my love, my life, my soulmate. I love you Mike.

If you want more just tell me. I'll write em. I'm full of stuff like that.[/COLOR]

[Mike]

Ooooooooooo! I like 'em! Very nice again...Especially the first one, it rhymes and stuffs. :whoops:

[Phantom]

Oh god love? I feel the same? The poems are very good?angel you have no clue how lucky I am to have a girl like yo in my life..


[color=sienna][b]Diving headlong Into The Abyss of???[/b]

Andover, our love is restored. The faith that bonds us? The grief that yields to our love. Why is it that nothing can be foretold? Why in this land do people love? the immaculate perfection that has been bestowed upon me is unreal.

Take the step onwards, within the hate filled room, beyond the gates of Lucifer and into the dark pitiless shroud of abyss and see the light of the angel that is within?

Step to the fore, feel the incinerating heat. Watch, watch ever so carefully and be sure to allow the all-encompassing shadow disperses into the cerulean cobalt notification of God himself.

Angel, feel the love I bear and hold it dear, hold it to the tip of your very affection? Watch?

Watch as we dissipate this hellish atmosphere,

Watch, as give the impression of being in heave, let us douse the fiery pits of hell with our love and extinguish the burning hate in addition to flames with our love..

Take with you the token of our worship for one another?Denote the heavenly existence and proclaim our breech as one to be equaled with naught?[/color]

[Queen Asuka]

[color=crimson][size=1]I like depressing forms of poetry, that's whyI tend to lean more towards melancholy music with sad lyrics. But yes, I liked all of the sad poems, especially the first one you posted Phantom. The words you used to describe were beautiful. So yeah, I like the poetry. I haven't written any in forever and if I did now, it'd probably be sappy loves stuff because I can only write about what I feel and everything.[/color][/size]

[Phantom]

hey thanks queeeny! if u liek so much...make one of your own and post in here.. i wana here some of your work

[Queen Asuka]

[color=crimson][size=1]Well, I might sit down and write a poem now JUST so I could post it in here. The only times I tend to sit down and actually think of a poem, it's when I have to do stuff for school. In the 9th grade, I wrote my Young Georgia Author's Poem on Final Fantasy VII, and mostly the death of Aeris, and how Cloud was going to get revenge on Sephiroth. A pretty good piece of work, if I do say so myself.[/color][/size]

[Phantom]

Sweet thankz ...makes us feel special hehe... um ima write more once u post your poem kk?

[Queen Asuka]

[color=crimson][size=1]Well it might be a little while before I write one, but I am feeling slightly inspired right now because I'm sort of on the melancholy sides. This is becoming one of my more common moods as of late, but yes, you should go ahead and post yours.[/color][/size]

[Phantom]

[color=sienna][b]Color?s of Deception[/b]

In the awkward embrace with hate,
One often grabs at the coaxing howl of unjust supremacy,
What color is this fate? It is no blacker than the ebony etched scales of Lithitar himself!
Alas, the more welcomed clutch of this deceptive malarkey,
Tearing at the pain dithered ruler of obsession held only by a thread of life,
This angered bastard would filch your soul for a dime,
He is nothing you know or would ever encounter,
Unless you?re deceptive nature is more than just a discomfited touch with hate,

The black deathly rich ichor of this naught wretched beast of twinge,
Would be the décor for this type of odious person,
Transfix thine eyes on this divine principle?For evil is nothing?
Without the encompassing graphic deftness of deception. [/color]

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic][color=crimson]God bless melancholia and despression.

Love is a two edged sword.
You feel so happy, yet,
they twist it away from you.

They use it to rip you apart.
And it cuts so deep,
sharper than blades.

The cause or the cure?
Will it matter? Will we change?
Are we doomed to do it all again?

Is love merely an instinctual,
expression wrought from survival?
Or something so greatly more?

A freeing embrace, a cry,
from the heart that wills,
itself upwards, to the sky.

And knows no limits, nor bounds,
nor cares. Yet heeds life still.
Is there anything so sweet?

Yet they curse you with it.
The blessings you hope for,
transumuted by malice.

They? You ask? Who,
might these offenders be.
To pollute all we hold dear.

The most dangerous of foes.
The all seeing eye. They,
are the darknesses in your soul.

Egad, remind me not to write poetry on the spot.[/font][/color]

[Phantom]

This my friend is a true masterpeice of your mind... it is your first thoughts... the unaltered unabridged version of your inner sanctive thoughts.. Happy I am to be able to read such ....realism of expression.

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic][color=crimson]I would more say idle musings. And in the same vein:

A Toast To The Darkness In My Soul - For Ravenstorture
Lo! The hero doth return with spoils of war!
Twisted beyond recognition by toil
Did you pray for no such ending,
Or do you lie with your being,
And not just your facile mouth?

Does it haunt you at night, blistering,
Your dreams a weaving tapestry
Of what you could have had,
As opposed to what you have spawned.

A wreck, I told you I was.
A quivering mass of nerves.
Did you choose which string to pluck?
You play me like a tightly strung violin.

Yet I care not, after all.
I love every minute of it,
As much as I am enamoured of you.
No one else could have affected me.

You took what I was, the mixed up ingredients,
And bound them together. You made me.
All that I am, all potential, is from you.
You are more than a goddess to me.

They say we are kindred spirits,
Two beings so alike as to be uncanny.
Yet that is not so my love.
We are as one.

You yourself are the cause,
The root from which I spring.
This silvered verse befits you not,
As little as it befits the world.

You cannot decieve me.
Our love for each other is whole.
I know you lie to me not.
Your word is my heart.[/font][/color]

[Jesus Chicken]

Good work MDE. You're first poem is easily the best of the lot. Although it does not rhyme, poetry doesn't have to rhyme, it's just another form of expression and you have expressed, in a beautiful way, your story of depression and the expreince that one may go through. May god have mercy on those you do go through something such as this. Good work, nice and moody.

[Talon]

Nice poems everybody, Lacroix especially. Phantom, you did a good job as well, though I have NO room to criticize. C'est la vie. I have a question, Danni. This poem's about you-know-who, isn't it? Well, Remember I'm always here for you. And GREAT job by the way. Really, I mean it.

[Phantom]

Yes the depressing ones are bout YkW, and its best assured that she knows she has her most loved friends and bloodline family to know we ar here.. also this should be kept between us john, not the entire boards.

[Queen Asuka]

[color=crimson][size=1]Now Harlequin, I REALLY like your work. I like the fact that you can come up with stuff like that on the spot. Especially the second one for Raven. Beautiful and melancholy at the same time. Nice nice nice. You remind me of Ryan so much. He writes alot of song lyrics on the spot like that...[/color][/size]

[Mist]

[color=red][size=1] All these poems are amazing! You guys should post them on Otakupoetry.com! Love 'em[/color][/size]

[Shinkoru]

Um. Yeas, thoes poems are about you know who. Sean. I don't mind if everyone knows. It was a painful time for me and others. And that poem was written, the first part, the day i almost did what the second part says. But as the other poems showed. I'm all happy now :) oh and. I know yall love me. :)