Jump to content
OtakuBoards

How could you


Flipmodesquad
 Share

Recommended Posts

How could you turn away
Always forever you used to say
Forever those words are in my heart
Now they are nothing
but words of stone
You left me out in the cold
For someone who you said was more dear
why did you turn away
A love forever That will stay
:bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl:

IF ITS TERRIBLE PLEASE TELL ME NOW AND CORRECT ME.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[color=red][size=1] Good...although it was a bit short. You were very repetitive with the word "forever", which sorta threw it (the poem) off. You also would have been better off with stanzas.

Still very good job, though! 7/10[/color][/size]
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[color=red][size=1] It's okay to be repetitive; I never said it was a bad thing. It's just the word "forever", which is supposed to have distinct meaning, was over-used, and sorta threw it off. Nothing more.[/color][/size]
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...