Writing Dudeula

[Dragon Warrior]

That's right. Here's a dude story that I've had for quite some time, but forgot to post it here for you good people to see. Well, here's the rather short and bizarre tail of Dracula.. er... I mean... Dudeula.

*Lightning flashes*



[B]A short while ago...[/B]


?Dude, check it out.? Dude 1 said looking up at a huge building.

?Dude, is that a castle?? Dude 2 asked.

?Dude, it?s not JUST a castle, but it?s the most famous castle in the world! And in it, lives a very famous being.?


?Really? Who??

?The one and only? Pacha the Pizza man. Pacha?s Castle is the best pizza place in town. You got to try it.?

?Okay. Let?s eat here then.? And so the two dudes sat down to enjoy a meal at the wealthiest pizza place in the world. And settled down with their slices and enjoyed a quiet chat.

?LOOK AT ME!!! I AM PIZZA MAN!? Dude 2 said sticking pizza slices on his face.

?Ha, ha. Your stupid.? Dude 1 pointed and laughed.

?So, what did you bring for the camping trip?? Dude 2 asked, finally sitting down.

?I brought the usual, but for some reason I had a feeling I needed this wooden stake. Oh, and this cross. And holy water. And a box of sunshine. And onions. And strangely, a wallet-sized picture of Jerry.? The two look at the picture.

?Is that a booger in his nose.? Dude 1 looked closer.

?Ha, ha! It is! Now we can tease him.?


[B]Meanwhile, in a very evil-looking setting...[/B]


?Ha, ha. Yes, my stupids. You shall both die when u visit my castle! Hahahahahaha!!!!?


[SIZE=4]Dudeula[/SIZE]


?Dude, no one makes pizza like Pacha does.?

?I agree, dude.? Dude 2 said wiping his mouth with someone else?s? napkin. ?Hmm? Dude, I have a weird feeling we got to visit that place over there.? Dude 2 points.

?What? That barber shop?? Dude 1 following Dude 2?s gaze.

?No. The castle next to it.? Dude 1 looks down the road and sees the huge castle.

?Oh! That castle. Well, why didn?t you say so.? And so the two cool dudes left to the castle in which was very large. Dude 1 knocked on the door politely, but rudely. A man that was very tall and dressed in black stood in the doorway.

?Hey. We need a place to chill. Can we use your crib??

?Crib? I?m not a baby! And if you need to chill, go to Antarctica.? the man said, scratching his baldness.[I]Silence, you fool! They are obviously the two dudes you have been waitin for, the man thought to himself.[/I] [I]But they seem to be talking in another language.[/I]

?C?mon, dude. Be a homie.?

[I]Should I take that as an insult? Hmm? they?re "terms" seem to confuse me. But nevertheless, I must let them in.[/I] ?You may enter mortals.?

?First, tell us your name.? Dude 1 insisted.

?My name is Cou-?

?Is this Batman?s cape, you thief?? Dude 2 said, tugging on the man?s clothing.

?Stop that! It?s my only suit. My name is Count Dracula.?

?Didn?t you use to teach numbers on Sesame Street?? Dude 1 asked.

?Stop this insanity and enter!?

Dude 2 examined Dracula?s clothes again. ?You did steal them. I must give them back to him at the bat cave.? Dude 2 then ripped the clothes right off Count.

?Oh no! That was my only one. I must find something else to wear.? Dracula ran off in his underwear and returned in a pair of bunny pajamas. The two dudes started to laugh at him. ?That?s right. Laugh it up. You shall die tonight for I am A VAMPIRE!!!?


[B]Bum, bum, bummmmm.[/B]


?Silly, Count dude. There?s no vampires in New York.? Dude 1 said grabbed hold of Dracula?s neck.

?This isn?t New York and don?t hang on me.?

?You should really go see a doctor or something ?cause your pale and your started to go mental on us with that vampire crap.?

?But I-?

?Ya know what. He does look a little white.?

?Shut up and enter!!!?


[B]After entering...[/B]


?I shall now show you two your rooms.? Dude 2 questioned.

?Dude, if you?re a vampire, can you do that bat thing??

?Yes.?

?Turn into a bat then. For us!?

?No.?

?C?mon.?

?No.?

?Yes.?

?No.?

?Yes.?

?Rock, paper, scissors for it. You win, I do it. I win, you shall die.?

?Deal.?

After 4000 games of RPS, and Dude 2 winning every one of them, Dracula finally gave in. ?Alright. I?ll do the trick.? Dracula then turned into a bat and started to fly high into the air. ?Haha, suckers. You can?t do this!?

[SIZE=3]SLAM![/SIZE]

Dracula then fell to the ground and turned into his vampire form. He had little bats swirling around his head. ?Ow. Low ceiling.?


[B]Later, after Dracula woke up from his coma, which was about 6 months, the two du- what?s that? You wanna know what happened in that coma. Dracula had an odd dream. Here it is...[/B]


[Entering Dracula's Coma Dream]

?Ah? a hospital. And so many blood banks. I feel like the world is giving in. Finally!? Suddenly a car hit him and he awoke.


[B]That?s about what happened. Anyways, back to the story?[/B]

[B]Yes? that?s what happened. Anyways?[/B]

[B]Yes were sure. Listen, it was a short dream. Don?t read too much into it, okay? Now, BACK TO THE STORY!!![/B]


?Here?s your room.? Dracula said opening the door to a creepy two-bedded bedroom. ?Enjoy.? The two dudes slipped into their beds and fell asleep. Dracula stood in the doorway surprised. ?You?d think they?d put up more of a fight to not fall asleep so I couldn?t kill them, but hey! God?s giving me a chance!? And so Dracula slid onto Dude 1?s bed and released his fangs when suddenly Dude 1 awoke.

?What the? Dude, are you gay? Your trying to get in bed with me!?

?What?s going on?? Dude 2 said, waking up.

?Dracula is gay!?

?Good god!?

?I am not!? Dracula pleaded.

?What happened?? said a werewolf that just so happened to pass by the window at the moment. Dude 1 explained what happened to over 1000 people, which were all disgusted.

?Dude! That?s gay!? They all said then turned toward Dracula. Dracula turned beat red and ushered the visitors out. Once that was done, he beckoned Dude 1 and Dude 2 to fall asleep again. Once they did, Dracula tried the same approach on Dude 2. Suddenly?

[SIZE=3]RAM... RAAMM... RA-RA-RAAAAAMMMMMM!!!![/SIZE]

Dracula turned to see leather face: The Texas Chainsaw Master in the window, starting up the chainsaw. ?Muahahaha? Ow! Son of a! Stupid chainsaw.? Leatherface turned out to be Jerry and Jerry tossed the chainsaw out the window.

?You can?t stop me from sucking these two dudes? blood.? Dracula insisted.

?Who said anything about me stopping you?? Jerry asked. ?Eh. Oh well. While I?m here.? Jerry began by doing a matrix jump-kick at Dracula sending him flying into the wall by a chicken pen. Dracula just so happened to put the chicken pen inside this room for the night.

Dracula grabbed a chicken, cocked it?s neck like a gun and fired eggs through the air. Also like in the matrix, Jerry bent over and the the eggs flew past him slow motion. Once the chickens couldn?t fire anymore, Jerry tried to stand up straight. ?Dang it! I?m stuck this way. Hold on.? Jerry moved over to a chair and cracked his back upwards allowing him to stand again. ?Okay. Ready.? Before Jerry could make a move, an egg splattered on his face.

?That was an egg.? Dracula warned, then showed the rooster he was holding.

?Hiiiiiya!? Jerry said, leaping into the air, but Dracula ran out of the room before he could hit him. Jerry followed Dracula ?til they both were in one big stadium with a wrestling rink. They both jumped in. Jerry started out with a body slam and kicked ***.

Dracula then clothes lined him. Jerry jumped through the air and did a karate kick sending Dracula down. ?Give him the chair!? said someone in the audience. Jerry grabbed a metal chair and slammed it down upon Dracula?s cranium. Dracula then jumped out of the rink and ran down a hall ?til he was in an alley-like place.

Jerry trapped him there.

?I will never give in.? Dracula said then ran towards a metal gate. Grabbing a cane and holding down his bunny ears, he tried to jump through the two gates like they did on Charlie?s Angels? but he got stuck. ?Ow. That hurts like nothing? else. Darn it!? He pushed through and ran over to a fountain.

Jerry then jumped over the gate, landed face first, but got up just in time to join 2 chicks in leather clothing. ?It?s time for Jerry?s Angels!? Jerry and the two girls jumped at Dracula and started to fight him until the girls were killed and Jerry was left. ?Do you expect me to talk??

Dracula laughed. ?No Mr.. er.. what is your last name??

Jerry thought for a moment. ?I-I-I don?t know. I don?t think I have one.?

?Eh. Oh well. I expect you to die! hahaha!? Dracula pulled a lever that unleashed a trap door sending Jerry out of the area. Dracula put on a devious grin and ran off to the two dudes? room. There he was about to suck their blood when?

?You think you could get rid of me that easily?? Jerry said.

?How-how did you get back here before me and when
you were sent through a trap door that beheld crocodiles and sharks and the occasional monkey feeses??

?I don?t know. But what I do know is? YOUR WEAKNESS! Bwa ha! Behold, the mirror!? Jerry took off a rag off a mirror and and Dracula stared into it.

?That?s Medusa that?s weak against mirrors you idiot.?

?Oh? alright then.? Dracula then knocked the mirror through the wood covering the open window and unleashing light upon himself.

?No!!! I?m melting!? Dracula pleaded, ?This sucks! Nooo! Hey now? I?m getting a nice tan! But I?m also melting!! Noo? o.. oo?? Soon, Dracula was just a yellow puddle on the floor. Just at that time, Dude 1 and 2 woke up. They saw Jerry and leaped to his sides.

?Jerry! What are you doing here.? Dude 1 asked.

?Long story. It?s all like thi-?

?No time for that!? Dude 1 interrupted.

?Jerry!? Dude 2 said, eyes wide. ?You had an accident!? They all spotted the yellow puddle on the floor.

?Eewww?? They all said.


And so, it turns out Jerry saved the day. And the 3 of them left the castle in the middle of New York City forever?


Moral: Pacha?s Pizza Castle is THE BEST!!!

[vegeta rocker]

HAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
man, whew! thanks i needed that. Great story, i was cracking up the whole time, good work. (rolls down hallway laughing and bumps into wall which causes more laughter)

[Dragon Warrior]

That's what I'm here for. Nothing like making people laugh to make a guy feel good.

[Corey]

Man that was a great story.
And it was the first 'dude' story I have read.
I plan to read the rest now.
:D

[Dragon Warrior]

Heh. Alright. I think my next will be one about the woman who lived in a shoe. Hehe... ^^