Phantom Posted July 20, 2002 Share Posted July 20, 2002 [color=sienna][b]Depths of Fear[/b] Loathing, betrayal? Disgust, inceptive creations of profound hatred, It rips one?s soul into shards of abhorrence, The odium grows, breeds its unjust nature, [i][size=1]Do you panic yet? Is this trepidation enough?[/size][/i] Antipathy, perfidy? Repulsion, describing the repugnant fiend you revolt, It shreds, thrashes, and cleaves at your endless affliction, The torment expands, causing an unholy deprivation of being, [i][size=1]Do you dread yet? Is this terror enough?[/i][/size] Detestation, duplicity? Pierced love, the contradictive denunciation of passion, It tears, slits, and threshes into your deepest love, and razes it, The ordeal continues, abruptly disjointing everything you stand for, [size=2][font=courier]Severing the need to live?[/size][/font] [i][size=1]Do you drivel in unsanctified fright yet? Is this anxiety enough?[/i][/size] M Hunter[/color] [list] [/list] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted July 20, 2002 Share Posted July 20, 2002 *claps hands* I liked all the different adjectives used, they brought variety as well as more depth to the baisis of the entire poem. 9/10 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nomad Posted July 20, 2002 Share Posted July 20, 2002 wow...... yeah wow...... :excited: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted July 20, 2002 Author Share Posted July 20, 2002 Thankz peoples, im sorta an odd boy like i said, but the rich depths of melancholy just suck me in when i get concentrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted July 20, 2002 Share Posted July 20, 2002 WHOA! Good job!! Lots o emotion in that one.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mist Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 [color=red][size=1] Whoa...a poem that I have no critism for...that's a first...Great job, Mishka![/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 Kool man! Really awesome, especially the little step-notes between each stanza. 9.999/10. One thing. It could have been a LITTLE more paralyzing in the delivery. I.E. color. Ima start changing the colors of my poems to match the intended emotion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted July 21, 2002 Share Posted July 21, 2002 [size=1][color=darkblue]Interesting... I like it..very good for a free form, you kept it together well, and that means a lot since I like poems that rhyme, lol. As I said before, keep up the good work! [/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted July 22, 2002 Share Posted July 22, 2002 [font=gothic][color=crimson]Love the descriptism.[/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted July 22, 2002 Author Share Posted July 22, 2002 Wow, Harlequin used love in the same sentance that is showing praise...i feel quite good now.. hehe btw: i was sorta waiting for your responce... harlequin... sorta wanted to see the opinion of another twisted mind...:-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 [font=gothic][color=crimson]Sorry, I was a little pressed for time, so I didn't have much to say. Had to paraphrase my thoughts so to speak. Anyway, to my opinion. As I so vulgarly said, I like the imagery. The subject is appealing, kind of reminds me of quite a few song lyrics I've heard, mainly the Tea Party. "All you needed was an open invitation, you said yourself you craved the cimplications you know the one who made you make the dedication you sell yourself you sell your soul" The Tea Party - The Master And The Margaritta. That kind of defiant, contemptuous thread weaving through arrogance, a message of rebuke to those its directed at. So to speak.[/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted July 24, 2002 Share Posted July 24, 2002 wow i loved the intense feeling, the imagery didn't hurt either. A twisted mind is better than a bent one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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