Talon Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 [color=teal]Lost in an endless void, I quest for that which I need. The girl my affections with had toyed. Her arms open, her frame like a reed She fell away one fateful day, Never knowing the shock of it. All I had were demons to slay, And a broken set of teeth to grit. My heart shut down, My mind a-clutter. All I did was in my pain drown, And stand right there and stutter. I ran away from all the fear, A shirt missing and my chest a mess of blood. In an instant she ripped what I held dear, And sent me crashing with an almighty "thud". I sealed away every emotion, My heart a solid wall of steel. I took no more of any notion. No longer would my love be real! She softened my steel, broke my rock. The kiss saved my life and my heart did heal. She took me once around the block. When we returned, she found the softness in the steel...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 [font=gothic][color=crimson]I love it because I empathise so well with the last two stanzas. It's a great poem, but I think you're starting to get a little quixotic on choice of subject.[/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mist Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 [color=red][size=1] Hmmm...I think your theme is getting repetitive, but a nice poem indeed.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted July 23, 2002 Author Share Posted July 23, 2002 Grr.....I WRITE WHAT I KNOW, DAMMIT! ALL I KNOW IS PAIN, GUILT, SADNESS, AND LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mist Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 [color=red][size=1] John, calm down. I said it was a good poem, but you just admitted it: You write on the same themes, because it is what you know. [/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrettygurlRei Posted July 23, 2002 Share Posted July 23, 2002 I like the poem, very touching indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted July 24, 2002 Share Posted July 24, 2002 it may have a repetitive them but it's beautiful anyway, write what you know right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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