Writing a snowflakes fire 3-12-02

[vegeta rocker]

the day the snow flake fell
fell from the pure white sky
white and beautiful
the edges softened
by the angels wings
brushing them smooth

pure water born into a spider web of snow
the years it took for the vanilla feather to reach the snow was marked by rifts of snow
and ice

when it hit the snow it was weak
and when the snowflake melted
the snow was fused with the purest life
but it didnt melt into the grass
the cruel inforgiving wind
softened it's gaze
and lifted the snow flakes spirit above

the snow star rose above all the other flakes
whose journeys weren't complete yet
when she finally rose to the moon she smiled
for even a snow flake can smile
if you just make it happy

passing by saturn she thought
i wonder where im going
where do ice diamonds go when they leave
maybe im going to pluto
i hear its cold there

everywhere she looked she saw darkness and shattered glass
wait i've passed pluto
where could i be going
could the wind have made a mistake
but the wind pressed on

i see something
what could be so bright
where am i
its so warm hope i don't melt

the stars melted away
suddenly the world stretched
and the wind bit and the snow
was hot like fire

she fell
the snowflake fell
her new limbs flailing
when she fell past jupiter
her eyes opened for the first time

slamming through cotton sky
landing on cold green felt
her brown hair was hanging over her new blue eyes

when she lifted her face
the first stars were just shattering into dawn

i would very much like some criticism on how to fix it, i can't see it's flaws though i know it has them. this is the most personal one i have ever written so its hard to see the mistakes.:)