Changing religions...

[Avalon]

My mom's a Christian...and she's pushed me to be one too. She's pushed me so far that I've grown to hate it...I have been looking into another religion over a few months...and I have hinted to my mother about changing my religion. She says she'll be very angry but she wouldn't be surprised because I rebel against her in everything...What she doesn't know is the religion that I've decided upon. This religion, which I am a praticitioner of, is the very one that she grew me up to hate...to despise...but ironically, i dressed up like one every Halloween...I want to change my religion to Wicca. I loved witches ever since I was little...so I decided to become one...I don't want to tell my mother because I'm 17 right now and she'll get mad at me and will start telling me about how I'll go to Hell and all that...I'm afraid she'll disown me...what shall I do? :bawl:

[James]

[color=royalblue]I think the best thing you can do, is just go along with it for now. You're still only young.

When you are 18 or whatever...then you can actually start practicing whatever belief you want. But 'till then, I think it's probably wise to just "tow the line"...especially if you're worried about being disowned.[/color]

[GinnyLyn]

oh boy...um, um, um. *promises to be good*

OK, the problem is that she pushed you. IMO, no one should EVER force anyone else to be a religion that you don't want to be (although I wish you could find someone else other than your mother to help you understand Christianity). It's like being a bad salesman--the kind that keeps telling you that you want the beat up toaster in the corner of the car show room. No matter how many times you tell him you want a car if he keeps shoving the toaster on you, you will take it home, but you won't be able to use it as the intended purpose of a car, and you won't ever be able to appreciate it as a toaster itself. Whacked, I know, but I find that analogy interesting.

Now, whether you really wish to pursue this, or whether you are rebelling against your mother, I don't know. Is there a way you can, you know, live elsewhere, maybe with other relatives? Your mother will flat out not accept your current decision and that's only going to make things a lot worse.

(And speaking of things getting, I offer fair warning in saying that no one should bash any religion in this thread--else I WILL get out of hand. Warning has been placed. ;))

[James]

[color=royalblue]Yep, I shall be closing this thread at the first sign of any "religion bashing".

It would actually be interesting if people of all different beliefs could offer their opinion in terms of how Panny Chan could proceed.

Perhaps others here have been through something similar?[/color]

[Sandy]

Actually, earlier this very week, I went and resigned from the lutheric church. It was my decision, and I'm proud I finally did it. It was really uncomfortable to belong to a religion you don't believe...So now I'm officially atheist!

But Panny, why are you thinking of CHANGING religion immediately? I think it would be good for you to be "religionless" for a while, and study the different religions, if you need one.

Personally I think a person can cope just fine without any religions (I'm a living proof of that!:D), but if you want to be a part of one, you should be careful when choosing.

If I may take an example, the movement called "scientology" cheated millions of dollars from people with their "salvation-courses". People tend to get somewhat gullible when they're in deep emotional problems. So if you join a religion, make sure it doesn't start to demand you money or something worse!

Besides books and info, you should seek the "thruth" in yourself -that's what I did! I'm not saying my way of thinking suits everybody, but to me it's perfect.

So take your time, the religions don't disappear anywhere even if you did some self-researching first!:)

[zidane11]

Just wait until you turn 18 or move out of the house. Simple as that.

[Angelus_Necare]

If you choose to be a wiccan and you mother did disown you what would that say about her? Maybe you should sit down and talk with your mother about this, tell her that you can't follow what you don't beleive and that you have at least found something to place faith in. I had the same problem with my mother the day I told her that I was Atheist, granted she wasn't happy but we talked and she understood where I was comming from. please talk to your mother it's the best you can do.

[James]

[color=royalblue]Hm, some good responses so far.

I think we [i]are[/i] at a point where we can discuss religion without getting too fiery. As long as everyone uses common courtesy...it shouldn't be a problem.

Panny, I hope that you've found some useful suggestions here so far.[/color]

[wrist cutter]

Well hopefully you aren't changing religions just to rebel against ol' mom. That's a stupid reason.

Being interested something doesn't mean you should necessarily become it either - I mean, I'm "interested" in Japan but I'm not moving there or anything (though maybe a visit). So really, you have to ask yourself if Wicca is really what you believe in (and make sure you know a lot about its beliefs and such).

My mother has instilled Christianity in me since I was young and "forced" me to go to Church every Sunday as well, but for me it hasn't caused me to rebel but slowly find that Christianity truly is what I believe in, and I couldn't change religions now because I simply know that it's what I believe in. Now maybe this is the case with you, except perhaps you have problems with your mom and this causes to change religions in defiance rather than for actual reasons, and in such a case you must really consider that first.

Others have said it and I will too - look around first. If you really feel that Christianity is not the belief for you, make sure you look at a lot of your options and know them well before making a final decision. Don't get caught up in something that isn't for you.

[vegeta rocker]

i agree with wrist cutter. You make sure that you choose something not for the sake of having a right to choose, but because of what you believe in. I myself am a christian but i study other religions to gain a better understanding of faith overall.
If you become a wiccan, you will probably be more peaceful than most christains since you will be an earth child.(though not all wiccans consider themselves earth children) I think Wicca is a beautiful religion, when you believe that every living thing has a spirit it makes every day life feel more adventerous and beautiful.

[Transtic Nerve]

I'd have to agree here with everyone else.

While I find it absolutely absurd to force any child into a religion, sometimes, children need a direction. But like I said, you are old enough now to know what you want. Once you become 18, you are legally an adult and thus your parents have no say in what you do.

I HIGHLY suggest you look into EVERY religion and learn about their ways and rules or whatever. You never know what may intrest you. But yeah, it's your choice. That's what religion is all about, and your mom being a Christian should accept and know this.

[PiroMunkie]

[color=indigo]As much as I hate to repeat things, and as monotonous as this is probably sounding: Don't change your beliefs just out of "rebellion" or wanting to be different.

I was once in a similar situation as you. My mother never pushed too hard for me to be Catholic, but I was raised in a quasi-strict Catholic environment. I was raised Catholic, went to a Catholic school, went to church every Sunday, received all of the sacraments I could get until the end of grade school. Freshman year is when it really hit me that I just did not like the whole organized religion idea. Coincedentally that was also the year that I hit heavy into the punk culture (I had always enjoyed it before, so that's when I decided to really become a part of it). And in solidifying my views as punk, organized religion just really irritated me with everything it did. So I just said 'screw it' and became independent of religion. There's actually a funny story between me and one of the counselors at my school dealing wityh the whole "independence" thing, but it's not really relevent and might spark an arguement to someone who's easily offended.

Anyway, if you want to become Wicca, be my guest. Some of my better friends are Wiccan. I just ask that you know what you're getting into and get into it for the right reasons. Oh, and also make sure when you research Wicca, stray away from things that talk about killing babies and drinking blood and all that stuff. >.< ! Those people don't know what they're talking about.[/color]

[Corey]

As much as I hate to repeat things as well: Don't do it just to piss off your mom. if you do and then discover that you rally don't like being Wiccan then you may find yourself in one big mistake.
I was baptised Christian. As I was growing up my family never enforced anything on me. We never went to church, we didn't have a cross in our house, I was never forced to read the bible. It was just there that I was Christian. Now I'm a sophmore in Highschool. During my freshman year, much like Piro, I ran into problems and started questioning my religion seriously. I didn't ask to be Christian, I was just Christian.
Now I'm almost 16 and consider myself void of religion. Since I'm not leagaly able to 'drop' Christianity, I will bear with it untill I'm 18. It's not that I hate Christianity it's that organized religion just doesn't make sence to me.

[GinnyLyn]

I shall also be a mimic at this point:
When you are 18, yes, you will be old enough to make your own decisions. But it will be tough until then. Since you seem to be in a moderately high state of emotion, you want to be careful what you do. As in don't do something you'll regret. And whatever you do, [b]don't[/b] pit any of your friends, Mom's friends, or relatives against her, saying that so and so is such and such a religion and they're just fine. That'll make it a LOT worse. Trust voice of experience over here.
I hope the toaster analogy made sense, because it's true. You can't get anything out of a religion or appreciate it if you don't really want it or care for it. My religion fulfills my needs, but I am different from you. You are the best person to know what will make you happy and at peace.
One last piece of advice: while looking around at the different religions, either get someone experienced and understanding of that religion, or do the factual research yourself. Don't just ask your buddies what religion seems the best to them. A lot of people misunderstand a lot of religions, and you don't want to end up back where you are now, with someone else breathing down your neck.
Hope we are helping. :)

[Subversive]

Well 1) I believe Chritianity is the best religion, Although I respect all religions.

2) If your mother truly is Christian she won't disown you infact she'll love you the same or more

3) When one is considering a religion, your considering changing who you are, who you'll be, and who you want to be. This is a huge decision I'd do whatever you want to do, but think about it very much. I'd pray about it, but I'm Christian, and you are thinking about becoming Wicka so I don't know what you'll do unless you still have a faith in God.

[RicoTranzrig]

[COLOR=darkblue]Religion never truly had an impact on me until recently...like, last year. The thing is, when you get older...you start noticing things that you never noticed before, things that you like and things that you don't. Religion is really more of a personal journey and going to church or a gathering (IMO) is like going to a safe harbor, completely on your own will, to rejuvinate yourself so you can have strength to face your own challanges. Just from personal experience, whatever makes you happy, whatever makes you nostalgic when you're with a religous gathering, that'll proably be the religion that you belong to. But yeah, just keep talking to experienced people about religion and just be open-minded to different things. For now, I don't recommend announcing your decision...just wait until you've thought it through, slept on it a couple times...[/COLOR]

[SuruBlu]

I'd personally have to say that if your mother treats you that way she's not a very good christian. Also, I hate to be repetitive, but experiment and find out what religion is best for you and dont shut out christianity just because of the bad experience you've had with your mother, there are MANY divisions of christianity including lesser knowns like the Jehova's Witnesses and Mormons. But be it in Christendom or not give it time and you'll find whats best for you.

[Subversive]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SuruBlu [/i]
[B]I'd personally have to say that if your mother treats you that way she's not a very good christian. ... [/B][/QUOTE]

exactly, Christians are taught to love all people...

[Sara]

That's a bit of a generalization, but I'll let it slide. :whoops:

Well, I can't say anything deep and insightful that hasn't already been said, but I can offer some personal thoughts....Sort of? My quiet little issue isn't quite as dramatic as yours, but it's quite a problem for me right now.

[Anyone who'd not familiar with different sects of Christianity, just go ahead and skip over this post, it won't make any sense to you.]

I'm Lutheran, born and baptized. And all my family--[i]all[/i] my family--is Lutheran. I've gone to Lutheran grade school for years and am currently enrolled in a Lutheran High school. Every day for years, I've had religion/theology class. Which means, basically, that we're semi-brainwashed into thinking that not only in Christianity the only way not to suffer terribly in Hell, but you'd darn well better be from Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, too! I don't really agree with that, and I [i]certainly[/i] don't believe in the way it's being taught.

We're told--and tested on--memorizing 'what we believe' without ever being explained to, really, why we're supposed to believe it, or what other thing there is to believe. I guess I believe in a lot of it--kind of what wrist cutter said...I don't know if I could change now, even if i wanted to. I've come to believe it.

One of my friends--goes/went to my high school--is Christian, but Methodist. We've been in one or two good-natured religious debates over lunch, just talking about similarities and differences. I find myself agreeing with his point of view much more than that of my Lutheran friends. And I find it upsetting that I just sort of 'inherited' my religion.....

Meh, anyway.

I'll tell you something interesting, though. One of the best gifts I have received was from one of my uncles [my Godfather]--one of those idiot's guide books, you've seen them, about world religions. I got it from him on my confirmation day. :whoops:

[GinnyLyn]

:therock: Really? You never told me this. *feels a little bothered*

I'm a Lutheran Christian, been that way since I was eight/nine/ten/whatever age I was when I was baptized. >_<;
What I've been told is to believe in the grace of God and believe in Jesus *continues on quietly*. Religion has NOTHING to do with how many members you can coax in, how much money you can suck away from them, how good you can look performing good deeds, or hanging around with others at doughnut and coffee/potluck dinners. It has PLENTY to do with giving you a reason to live. Well, that's IMO.

When I was younger, I felt forced a little. But I went, and I am glad. I've had countless experiences that have strengthened my faith, and others that have shaken it. I've had people that make me so sick of their hypocritical ways that I wanted to leave forever, and I've had blessings in people that have shown me a better understanding of my faith. No religion is without its doubts or promises. It's just finding one that you agree to.

I do echo my thought (and a few others') not to completely dump out on Christianity because of your bad experience. I close with relating the one I've had the last few months:

Early May. Finals in college. Moving. My uncle was dying of cancer. I thought I could handle it all. And I was quite wrong. Everything collapsed the night of my final exam, when my uncle died. I've never been the same.

I went to work the next day, hoping to, well, work through it. Halfway through the shift, everything collapsed on me again, and I was on the verge of just giving up completely. My good friend Ron told me something quite, well, thought provoking if nothing else :devil:, heh: "(Stuff) happens." Which basically means no one religion ever promises that you're gonna coast through life without any problems or worries.

I've been growing up quite fast lately. Becoming somewhat cynical. A little meaner, with a shorter fuse. And I'm not letting people step all over me anymore--I'm too old for that. I'm seeing my faith from a view I've never considered before, and I'll tell you this much: it's not the same faith I pictured it to be when I was young, if you know what I mean. Childish ideas are tossed out and replaced by more mature ideas. Things I never thought about before came into focus. And, admittedly, there's some stuff I'm having difficulty with. Especially in my old congregation. I was seeing stuff going on that I did not like, mostly of the "look how great we are" variety. When my uncle died, they played plenty of sympathy lip service to our family on Sundays, but very few bothered to call or write at any other time. I thought I could ignore this, but it only got worse, tearing my faith apart. I've changed congregations since, and things are better. The congregation is more focused on the important issues. I still struggle, but...*shrugs* that's a part of being a human.

To me, my faith is about fulfilling my spiritual needs. And I pray that you, Panny Chan, find the one that does the same for you.

[James]

[color=royalblue]That was an interesting post, Ginny. A good one too. :)

Religion has positive and negative aspects. In regard to Panny's situation...I think she definitely has to be searching for a religion for the right reasons. I mean, not just to get back at anyone or just because she's frustrated with her current religion.

Another idea is to just be agnostic. Granted, it takes some level of strength for that (in the sense that you don't really [i]belong[/i] to a specific religion, yet you still have a spiritual faith or whatever)...and you may find that you are comfortable with that.

In my opinion, your religion is what you make it. You can be positive and use it as a way of furthering yourself as a human being; or you can be blind and ignorant.

So, I guess I'm saying that as long as you have the right reasons/ideals in mind...then whatever you settle upon in the end is okay. :)[/color]

[MarkM]

It should be up to you what you beleve... After all its your life live it the way you want...not they way your mother does!

[GinnyLyn]

*nods* Thankies, James. :) I am greatly pleased that we could all be mature about this, everyone! :angel:

[James]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GinnyLyn [/i]
[B]*nods* Thankies, James. :) I am greatly pleased that we could all be mature about this, everyone! :angel: [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=royalblue]Me too. I think we [i]can[/i] have these discussions here if everyone is civil and respectful.

And to think that people scoff at the rules on OB...those rules are there to facilitate this kind of discussion. lol

Anyway, I'm rambling...I think I need some coffee. o_O;;[/color]

[Subversive]

rarely does a board do that, That really says something about our members :D