Corey Posted July 26, 2002 Share Posted July 26, 2002 I'm not sure if I have posted any of these before. [b]Floating[/b] I'm floating above, Everything in sight. I'm flying upward, In the calm winter night. Images flash, Before my eyes. Are they someones life? I can only surmise. The images are horrible, Scary and sad. Red stains form, under a head. An envelope lays, In a hand. The blue hand clutched, Apparently dead. The body jerks, And twitches with death. Preparing to leave, For eternal rest. The images, They come faster now. I understand, what they are trying to tell. The rent, The man was leaving to pay. He sliped and fell, On an icy walkway. He hit his head on the pavement, As he fell. Blood seeped, His brain swelled. He died of bloodloss, On the street. His body froze, His blood no longer leaked. "Why did I see, This mans horrible death?" A horrible thoght, Gripped my chest. I reached back, To feel my head. Expecting to find hair, I find blood instead. The tips of my fingers, Are a deep, deep red. I have finnaly realized, I'm dead. [b]Wanderer[/b] When I let my mind wander, I leave this place. I leave my race. I travel to space. I don't get angry, I can't get sad. I'm always happy, And always glad. The blackness of space, Sooths my soul. I lean back, And take in the show. Stars revolve, Around my arms. Planets rotate, Around the starts Galaxies move, Across my skin. They penetrait deep, Deep down within. They touch my soul, And ease my pain. They destroy my malice, And keep me sane. I drift back down, To this earth and the world. And wait for another, Thousand problems to uncurl. Wandering is my scapegoat, My help and my savior. I will return, Sooner or later. [b]In My Mind[/b] Why must I sit here, Huddled in fear. I feel pain but alas, I cannot shed a tear. The means of control, I yearn to find. I am a prisoner, Inside of my mind. I want to move, I want to talk. I want to find, The power to walk. I am a prisoner, Inside of my mind. I will be now, And for all time. So what do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrettygurlRei Posted July 26, 2002 Share Posted July 26, 2002 they are all good, I really like the first one, you should write more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 26, 2002 Author Share Posted July 26, 2002 I only write when I'm angry or depressed. I haven't been either of those lately. I wrote those poems about five months ago. Thankyou for the compliment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted July 26, 2002 Share Posted July 26, 2002 they're very good. sometimes when you read a rhymed poem they feel like they had to stretch the grammer to get it to flow. But with yours it flows naturally when you read it. Very nice...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flipmodesquad Posted July 26, 2002 Share Posted July 26, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by DarkOrderKnight [/i] [B]I only write when I'm angry or depressed. I haven't been either of those lately. I wrote those poems about five months ago. Thankyou for the compliment. [/B][/QUOTE] I write when im like that too......Nice ones eh?.....I like em......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 26, 2002 Author Share Posted July 26, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by vegeta rocker [/i] [B]sometimes when you read a rhymed poem they feel like they had to stretch the grammer to get it to flow. But with yours it flows naturally when you read it.[/B][/QUOTE] I was forced myself to read a thesaurus. That really helped develope my vocabulary. You should try it.... No... Not really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mist Posted July 26, 2002 Share Posted July 26, 2002 [color=crimson][size=1][QUOTE][i]Originally posted by DarkOrderKnight [/i] [B] Galaxies move, Across my skin. They penetrait deep, Deep down within. [/B][/QUOTE] What do I think huh? I think I might come to love that little quote. Honestly, Corey, you did an amazing job! Of course, you can already tell that I like this quote a lot. Very deep and thought enhanced. (Keh...) As for a thesaures, (Too lazy to check if I spelled that right...) I have a miny one that is always at my side. :D[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted July 28, 2002 Share Posted July 28, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by DarkOrderKnight [/i] [B] I was forced myself to read a thesaurus. That really helped develope my vocabulary. You should try it.... No... Not really. [/B][/QUOTE] ouch. what are you implying?:bawl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 28, 2002 Author Share Posted July 28, 2002 I wasn't trying to bash you. From what I've read your vocabulary is good... It's your grammer that needs help. :D j/k I was implying that it took me a lot of painstaking hours and about three points off of my glasses percription to finish that damn book. The first chance I got I burned it and bought a new one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 I also like how you so easily make your poems rhyme, and make them flow at a good pace at the same time. The first one I like the best, but they are all good. Keep writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted August 4, 2002 Author Share Posted August 4, 2002 Thankyou much. I attempted to do some freeverse poems but they sounded like ©rap. So now I stick to rhyme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jupitersun Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 i like "in my mind " the best they're all really good though.post more!:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now