GinnyLyn Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 I dunno...but lately, I've been doing the whole, "What is my purpose?" bit. I keep wondering if people really like me for [i]me[/i], or if they only like what I do...if they are only nice to me for as long as it takes for me to go away. This feeling was always there, it seems, but in the past few weeks, it's gotta out of hand...almost unbearable. Every couple of nights, I lie awake and just cry...wondering why it is this way. Is it my fault? I've noticed that I've also dropped out of a lot of my "extra curricular" stuff over the past few months...my acting group, my speech club (and I was one away from being a certified speaker, too...), my bible study group. Now, I promise you, I don't [b]ever[/b] think about taking my life...I just keep wondering if the world would be any different regardless of if I had been in it or not. I wish I could reach out to people more, but I feel like everytime I do, I lose them. I lost one of my best friends at the beginning of this year...my favorite uncle in May...I changed the church I grew up in a few weeks ago... Am I depressed or just blowing this out of proportion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinetic Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [color=darkblue] I think everyone goes through this at some point, and I know I have, but trust me, you are very important, and loved. That's all you need to know, and don't think that the world would be any better without you, if that's what you're suggesting. I'm not very good with words, and I'm not very wise, but remember that everyone is special, and so are you ;) [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrist cutter Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 You're not depressed, everyone does that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyGirl Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [color=deeppink]Ahh, Ginny, I know how you feel! I agree with Aries that everyone goes through phases like that, and I definitely don't think that you're blowing it out of proportion. What one person may see as a trivial matter may have a serious effect on someone else, therefore nothing that you're feeling right now can be passed off as something silly or something that shouldn't be causing sadness. If it worries you or makes you unhappy, then you're not blowing it out of proportion :whoops: Whenever I go through phases like this, I tend to tough it out on my own, but I'd advise you to talk to somene you really care for. You don't have to necessarily talk about your problems, but just being around someone that elates your mood is good ^_^[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Navi Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 It's normal to be depressed. And it hurts to change...and to quote a horrible band "Well I guess this is growing up". Tahaha. Im going to get flamed for that. No, the world would not be the same without you because if you haven't changed someone directly, it was probably indirectly. I think the purpose in life is to find a purpose in life. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [color=deeppink] [size=1]*nods* I think everyone has that phase.... even tho I'm not too sure if I've gone through that phase yet,.... But of course, you're [u]not[/u] blowing it out of proportion. And nicely said Navi.... I agree with you on that last sentance comepletely. ^_^[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Just remember... You Are Ginny. You have definitly affected people on these boards if no one else. When that kind of mood creeps up on me I simply remember that if the world was without me, then there would be a little less color in a big blob of gray. You are also adding color to a drab and somtimes overbearing world Ginny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicoTranzrig Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [COLOR=darkblue]I guess...don't worry, if you can't help but worry...then take the previously mentioned advice, talk to people about anything, maybe yourself. Everyone has a purpose in life...it just takes a whole lot of searching to consciously find out what it really is. Edit: In a way...you've influenced me right now, really letting me know that I'm not the only one out there who...wonderied...losst close friends...and stayed up late nights, crying...[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven's Cloud Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [color=indigo]I definatly don't think that you are blowing it out of proportion. Depression can be an extremely serious issue, and, although it may not seem that serious right now, you may want to at least speak to your physician about it. If it has come to the point where you are staying awake and crying every night, then it may help to take some medication for a short while. Whatever you decide to do, just remeber that you wake up to a new day everyday.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defcon5 Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 You have influenced someone. I know that you have influenced me. The way you stood up for christianity motivated me to do the same. You gave me a renewed spirit in my faith. And so if you where not alive then I may have lost all intrest in my faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 yeah, taht happened to me yesterday! i got all mean on the boards and my self esteem was low...i wondered about the infinite universe, the existential world we live in, which contradicts yet welcomes nihilism, that promotes a hardcore commercial paradox in which we thrive and spawn.....all that....but just think of all you have and all you love.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [quote] keep wondering if people really like me for me, or if they only like what I do...if they are only nice to me for as long as it takes for me to go away. [/quote] [color=royalblue]I frequently wonder the same thing...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 wow, i KNOW peple don't like me for me.....so i just bear with it till i find someone who does! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SunRiZe Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 I like you ofr you, Ginny, I'm sure everyone here does as well :) I think it's not a matter of blowing it out of proportion, . It's perfectly natural to think waht it would be like if you wren't born, and as for all the extra curricular activities you used to do, trust me, you're far more active than I am, phew! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted July 31, 2002 Author Share Posted July 31, 2002 Thank you, everyone--it helps to know that I am not alone in my feelings. One question: since I've withdrawn from most everything, how soon till I go back "to normal"? I wish I could talk to my mom, but she just blows it off; I'd be embarrassed to talk to my old pastor because, heh, I don't want him to think I'm, well, a sad and depressed little creature; I do need to talk to [i]someone[/i] educated in this "cheerful" field, though. Posting this has helped a lot, thank you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [color=royalblue]Well, Ginny...I think sometimes life can be depressing. I mean, it can't be helped. But it's possible to get over these periods and to think about what is positive in your life and focus on that. I don't know what help I can be...but if you ever want to PM me to discuss your problems, I would be happy to help in any way that I can. I understand how you feel -- and I know that you perform a very valuable service to the entire community here. But I do feel that people here truly like you for who you are. I know I do. :)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 well, it could be a while if you don't TRY to be happier..again, think of who you love and what makes you happy....and good lord, get up and do something!:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninjaman Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 I know how you feel, Ginny. Lately I've been feeling the same thing. I haven't told anyone this and I know someone that's on here, at the OtakuBoards, so I'm pretty sure he will be reading this. I just suck it up and try to rid of the pain by doing something else. And I'm pretty sure that's not the best way to go. But anyway, Ginny, I like you for who you are. As from what I've seen, everyone goes through this type of thing. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GinnyLyn [/i] [B]I dunno...but lately, I've been doing the whole, "What is my purpose?" bit. I keep wondering if people really like me for [i]me[/i], or if they only like what I do...if they are only nice to me for as long as it takes for me to go away.[/B][/QUOTE] A simple bout of weak depression. Trust me on that one. I know depression like the back of my hand. Most likely you're just down because something in your life is really rough right now. How close am I to the truth? O__________o;;; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Yeah, but it's not necessarily the [i]only[/i] thing depressing her. I found that I only thought about stuff like that after being depressed in the first place. Even then, there isn't always a reason. Sometimes it just happens. Generally, if this doesn't continue for weeks onto months straight... it's not something to worry about. I would probably talk to someone outside of the boards about it anyway though. If it's really bad there are medications... but otherwise you are taken to a psychiatrist who will help you find better ways of thinking about things. This way you will see things from a different angle, and hopefully not get so saddened over them and can deal with them rationally. I've had a lot of the same problems. For me, it just basically stopped after I made myself get over things that I couldn't before. I really didn't care how it was affecting myself, but to know that I was hurting and worrying other people... well that actually made me want to change it. I'd check it out even if you are slightly worried. I mean, what could it hurt? Either you'd get help to be yourself again, or you'd find out you were fine anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted July 31, 2002 Author Share Posted July 31, 2002 It helps to know that I'm not alone in my feelings. Thank you [b]all[/b] so much, your help and friendship have made my getting out of this emotional pit a lot easier. I'll still go talk to someone, but I'm on the up and up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinetic Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [quote][i]Originally posted by GinnyLyn[/i][b] I'll still go talk to someone[/b][/quote] Whew, thought you said [i]Stalk[/i] someone...anyway, that's good that you're getting better, and I think you'll be fine ;) Just try to remember that the world is not out to get you...I did the opposite, and...well...just try to have fun :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [color=indigo]I hope I'm not too late. Well I really don't know you too well, Ginny, but that goes for probably most people here, but I know that any thought counts. I am pretty sure I have gone through this whole little "Who am I? What is my purpose?" phase. Though I can't really remember, I was probably thinking about it casually and not so much out of depression or whatever might be triggering your thoughts. I agree with Semjaza Azazel in that people think about things like this after already being depressed. Happens all the time to me, but usually I just blow things out of proportion with mass paranoia, over-analyzing things finding every possibility, and sticking with the one thought the scares me the most. Then when you get out of whatever was bothering you, you would realize that thinking about stuff like that was rather pointless. I'm thinking that something else is bothering you, which is causing you to think about this kind of stuff. I mean, recently you said you had that problem with your boss at work. That could very well be a factor, whether you think it might be or not. Things stick around even after you're done with them. I know that much from experience. Or it is possible that you have other things I just don't know about. Just know that people do care, even if they don't know you too well. I always enjoy reading your posts, even if I don't respond to them in any way. Like how I never responded in your "problem with the boss" topic, yet I do know about it, cause I did take the time to read it. I hope you get out of this soon. :)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 [COLOR=darkblue]there are 3 basic stages to what you're feeling: 1) regular depressed feelings 2) clinical depression (at least 2 weeks of constant depressed feelings) 3) chronic depression (at least 5 months of clinical depression) if you're experiencing stage 2, you need to see a professional of some sort (pastor, therapist, etc.) to work out why you're feeling this way. if you're experiencing stage 3, you need to start seeing a psychiatrist who will give you medication. as someone who has lived w/ chronic depression, i had to go through 12 psychs before i found a really good one. but it was worth it once i did. but what i found most helpful was discovering (imo) the purpose of life: to love & learn, & teach what you know to others. if you have done these things in some way, you have definitely made a difference. ginny, i think you're one of the smartest people on the boards. the world would definitely miss your presence. :)[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 mmm..... well, it seems your going through a semi-clinical depression, according to LM, so you should be fine soon....! i don't think medication or psychology helps much here, cause he's not going through a big thing.i think he's just finding himself, lord knows i haven't, and when i try im sure it'll be similar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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