torn

[Stitch]

yeah this topic is about a fight with my mom and dad they said they don't want me hanging around with my friends that are guys
i have known these ppl 4 a long time and i share everything with them and all of a sudden my parents tell me i shouldn't hang out with them and i told my parents that they can't chose my friends and my mom goes well i can chose your friends i have the power to put you in another school i was like totally shocked

so anyway i was thinking about the reasons why they would tell me to ditch my friends and i came up with this list

1 some of them smoke
2 some of them smoke ... grass
3 some of them drink
4 some do all of the above
5 some of them arn't virgins
6 some of them don't belive in god

that is the list and i know these are all really bad things but i only have about 5 to 8 friends that do this stuff and i have plenty of other friends(who i love dearly) but these guys are close because i can talk to them about my problems and they can relate and they don't talk behind my back and they respect me too.
i wish i knew whut to do in this situation but i don't and i'm not ready to ditch my friends for my parents or my parents for my friends. it hurts because these guys may have bad habits but that dosen't make them bad people and its whats on the inside that counts right???

so please tell me what to do i'm really lost and torn between what to do or how to make my mom and dad understand where i'm coming from even though they are open to my opinions i have a feeling that i'm gonna need more then just a hug and one sentance
~GG~:bawl:

[amibasuki]

[FONT=arial]your parents are just worried about your well-being, and think that your friends are bad influences on you. they're just trying to do what they think is best for you. I totally feel for you though. you could try persuading your parents to let you hang out w/ them as long as they don't drink or whatever while you're around them. sorry if that ain't much help. [/FONT]

[Kinetic]

[color=darkblue]
Yes, your parents are just trying to do what they think is right, and what any parents would do, but I feel where your coming from. I agree with Amibasuki, maybe you could persuade them somehow, by making them not do it around you, or something.

Sorry Chloe :(
[/color]

[RicoTranzrig]

I can sorta relate but I think this isn't for everyone...have your friends over. Adults are adults and they should be mature enough to talk with them and see for themselves wheter or not they're good kids or not.

[Delian]

I think you need to bring up the issue of trust. You know your parents don't trust your friends because of their bad habits. They think you are going to be influenced by them. The fact is, your parents don't have to trust anyone......except you. Explain to them in a calm manner that they need to put their trust in you and the choices that you make. You will need to reassure them that their habits won't rub off on you. You will need to repeat this conversation with them a few times (also doing chores and helping out kinda works as well). One thing you shouldn't do is get angry and start yelling or cursing at them, as this will only strengthen their resolve on the issue and it will make you look irresponsible and immature. Good Luck

Hope this helps

[Ryan]

[size=1]

I don't think it is so much about them but they are worried about you getting into the same stuff as them. Even if you say you won't that still doesn't persuade them that nothing won't come up. Like Rico said, invite them over with your parents and like others said above ask them to stop the smoking and drinking whenever you are around.[/size]

[Juu]

[color=deeppink] [size=1]You're parents are worried.
They don't want you to start smoking, drinking and..erm.. losing your viginity because of your guy-friends. I have alot of friends that are guys, (in high school) that had friends that began smoking. What I have to say is, if these guys are really that close, and wouldn't do anything to hurt you..that could be a different story... But your parents just want you to be safe, they don't want you to do the bad stuff they've been doing. I understand they must be close, but sometimes, people that do drugs..well.. you know..

but here's one question, have they ever asked you if you wanted to smoke/have a drink?[/color] [/size]

[amibasuki]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Juuthena [/i]
[B][color=deeppink] [size=1]I understand they must be close, but sometimes, people that do drugs..well.. you know..

[/color] [/size] [/B][/QUOTE]
[FONT=arial]I don't. it [i]is[/i] a bad habit, but doing drugs doesn't automatically make you a bad person.

[/FONT]

[Juu]

[color=deeppink] [size=1]Sorry, ment that as some people...
What I ment was the people that try to sell it to you and all that. Sorry, I didn't mean it like that...[/color] [/size]

[amibasuki]

[FONT=arial]no biggie.

as for the parents meeting the friends thing, it may or may not be a good idea. some parents are just downright stubborn and/or closed-minded (believe me, I know). but if your parents aren't like that, then go ahead and take a whack at it, couldn't hurt.
[/FONT]

[vegeta rocker]

your parents are worried about you, i suggest you sit talk down and talk it over with her. Let her know how important your friends are and if she tries to take them away that you will continue to interact with them anyway behind her back. She might respect your upfront honesty...or make you change schools. Best way, sit down and talk to her about trust, thats what it really comes down too.

[Stitch]

my parents trust me with a lot of stuff and they know i have tryed drugs trust me i won't try them again i have tryed smoking and i have tryed drinking.

i am having all of my friends over at the house tommorow night as some ppl have suggested so yes i hope all goes well

and yes my parents have offered me to drink but i didn't cuz i had already tryed it
~GG~

[Corey]

I'm probably the only person in my little group of friends that has never done anything like that.
I have never smoked, either kind of things that you smoke, I have never drank, I have never had sex, and... well... I really don't believe in God but still respect people that do.
Many of my friends my mom and dad know. The ones they don't I know they wouldn't approve of so I don't bother introducing them.
My advice to you?
Keep the friends and just be sure that your parents trust you enough not to do the stuff they do.

[munkee]

i have an older friend shes in 10th grd and shes surrounded by all those things... she goes to parties where ppl are doin it on the bed... her mom doesn't like it, but these are the friends she relies on and the friends that help her get up when shes down... if these friends mean that much to you, keep them... otherwise... you might have to think about it... :D goodluck... many prayers to you and your family.... ~ payce

[James]

[color=royalblue]To be honest, I don't think that they are practising good parenting.

Who cares if some aren't virgins, or if they don't believe in god? I mean, if that is a problem...then they need to get a [i]real[/i] problem. lol

The grass thing I can somewhat understand...they don't want you to be exposed to drugs. That's totally understandable.

But banning kids from friends is the first way to get them to fall exactly into the wrong position. The tighter the restrictions are, the more the child wants to rebel against their parents.

So in this case...I frankly think they are wrong, based on what you have said.

Having said that, I don't know all the details...so it's impossible to say once and for all who is right and who is wrong.[/color]

[Genkai]

IDEA ALERT!

have your friends talk to them...it doesn't have to be face to face, but you could use a phone, or be the moderator!:)

anyway, i think if your parents talked to your friends about it, they would understand.

[Stitch]

i can give u details james give me a sec to figure and sort them all....................... ok i'm gonna put this in a list

1 i was hanging out with my friends and my old babysitter saw me with them

2 my babysitter told my mom that i was haning around with the wrong crowd

3my parents confronted me and told me that i was getting into things is houldn't be in

4 i told them that i didn't do any of the "bad" stuff and they were skeptical

5 they told me not to hang around with them because it was ruining my image or reputation

6 i told my parents my reputation didn't matter because my friends still supported me

7 they said well your friends arn't reliable because they could be high and giving you advice which isn't good

8 i got upset and told them they can't control who i hang out with
they said well then we will make u switch schools

9 so i got sad came to you guys and told you and invited my friends over and my parents thought they were okay but they were still a little weird so i don't know how to make them feel comfortable with my friends

~GG~

[Mitch]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by James [/i]
[B][color=royalblue]To be honest, I don't think that they are practising good parenting.

Who cares if some aren't virgins, or if they don't believe in god? I mean, if that is a problem...then they need to get a [i]real[/i] problem. lol

[/color] [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=red]Exactly what I think. They just don't want you to get into drugs is what I think is the bottom line. They care for you so much you don't even know exactly how much they care for you. They haven't even met these friends ever have they?? I hate it when people just judge you by what you do and don't, not by what kind of person you are. I agree with Rico, to you should invite them over if your parents actually get to know them, maybe they will change their minds. [/color]

[Genkai]

yeah, she did, but now her parents are not comfortable with her friends, though they will allow her to hang with them... i think..

[vegeta rocker]

how many people have friends that their parents approve of? Everyone has at least one friend that their parents don't like. It's just how parents are, they just happen to have more ammo in this case.

[ShadowX]

respect your parents descion i was in the same position they where older than me a ilooked up to them but the smoked and they hanged out with even worse friend and my dad told me not to play with them so i did the only really thing i miss is playing foot ball with them riding then i made new friends and hanged out with them

[Fall]

Well there isn't really much you can do, I mean, if you refuse to do what your parents want you to do, they could send you to another school, and then you might lose them all together.

Though if you ask me, your parents chould also respect your decission.....they should atleast let you hang out with your friends, especially that you've been friends with them for years.

[ifm2181]

It's really bad to lose friends, especially ones that you've known for a really long time. Unfortunately, parents have to do it sometimes, and you lose em. Believe me, I lost all my old friends back in grade 7 because I had to move.