Writing Ballad of an Unsung Hero

[Talon]

[FONT=times new roman][color=teal][i]I'll tell you, now, a story of truth.
Of a man who once fought evils uncouth.
His legend has been forgotten by time,
So here and now I tell you his rhyme!

Magnus Firenze had been a great fighter.
His hair was light silver, and his eyes, they were lighter.
They shone like the mythril they mined in Antilver,
His strength outmatched even the great tree Lansilver.

He spoke with his father about his one fate,
Hoping his name would be placed on the slate.
Magnus swore to his father, making a swear-sacrifice.
"I swear to you father, I'll be Guardian of Paradise!"

He rode out on his steed with a fight on his mind.
He lost a great battle with he of demon-kind.
He rode on with a gash in his mighty chest.
He fell to the ground an into an uneasy rest.

Sharde Ironside was a girl of great beauty.
Many men in her house had whispered "Hey, cutie!"
She was walking one day along the dirt street.
When she found injured Magnus asleep at her feet.

They lived in love as Magnus' wounds did heal.
Magnus' heart, Sharde Ironside did steal.
One day, she hastily took up and went walking,
And when she returned she heard her love hotly talking.

The demon was evil, it was pure bane.
To face the creature of legend was to face unending pain.
Legend said it's wings were dark fire, it's eyes were sheer black.
No hero back then had lived against its attack.

Magnus and Sharde fought side-by-side,
Tanning the great demonic evil's hide.
Sharde fell to the ground, her lips frozen dead.
As Magnus severed the great demon's head.

Magnus stared at his love, now dead on the ground.
He screamed at the sky, though no-one was around.
He held his blade level with his chest,
And with one stroke laid himself to eternal rest.

Magnus Firenze, my friend I am sorry to see.
Your deeds have been forgotten by history.
Though I know your story, and of your sacrifice.
I mark you , my friend, Guardian of Paradise![/FONT][/color][/i]

[Mitch]

[color=red]Well done. Does this poem actually hold an allegorical meaning as well?[/color]

[Talon]

[color=teal]Nope. I just made it to tell a story.[/color]

[Boo]

I luuuuuhuuuuv it! It is really great! you Keep on surprising me! ;)

[BearsBaby635]

[color=blue]I love it Fox! You keep it up. :)I love you[/color]

[Phantom]

simply put, your effort is amazing. The main differnce in me, is that your effort comes from determination, and the rhymes are wvery well thought out and contructed. :-D Me? well i just have my words and my thjought hehe...

like how use proper nouns when you run out of real words... exceellent touch :-D

[Talon]

[color=teal]Thank you, much, everyone. Sheez, it was Hell. I was up from 8 to 12 making that one up. My head hurts. Ow.[/color]

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic][color=crimson]I agree with Mike. Some of the words there were definately stretched to fit. Great job anyway. I just dislike the ...unoriginality... inherent in several aspects of the story.[/font][/color]

[jupitersun]

thats a great poem i really like it!:)