Guest Soft mush Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 [COLOR=orangered]It's PLAY TIME ![/COLOR] As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoon and comic strips: * Lost: small apricot poodle. reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. * A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine foods expertly served by waitresses in apetizing forms. * Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00 * For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. * For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar. * Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. * Now is the perfect time to get your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too! * Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory * Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. * We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. * No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent * For Sale. Three canaries of undetermined sex. * For Sale - Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Huskey. * Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh vegetables, salads, quiche. * 7 ounces of choice sirloin, steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings. * Great Dames for sale. * Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. * Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. * 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawney Port, sold to pay for charges, the opwner having been lost sight of, and bottled by us last year. * Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. * Vacation Special: Have your house exterminated. * If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fountain and Chopin. * Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. * The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds and other athletic facilities. * Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. * Toaster: A fift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. * Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so servicable that lots of women wear nothing else. * Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it. * We build bodies that last a lifetime. * Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last. * This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes & Gardens. * For Sale - Diamonds $20,00; microsopes $15.00. * For Rent: 6 room hated apartment. * Man, honest. Will take anything. * Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200.00 a month. References required. * Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop. * Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. * Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! * Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. * Modular Sofas. Only $299.00. For rest or fore play. * Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. * Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. * 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. * Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and snacks included. * Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. * Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. * See ladies blouses. 50% off! * Holcross pulletts. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204 * Wanted. Preparer of food. Must be dependable like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty. * Illiterate? Write today for free help. * Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. * Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. * Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating * Mother's helper - peasant working conditions. * Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale. * And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. * We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00 And these beauties from the radio: * Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a rediculous figure. * Be with us again next Saturday at 10:00 P. M. for "High Fidelity," designed to help music lovers increase their reproduction. * When you are thirsty, try 7-Up, the refreshing drink in the green bottle with the big 7 on it and u-p after. * Tune in next week for another series of classical music programs with the Canadian Broadcorping Castration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Deranged Gerbil Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 rofl!!! thats some funny s.hit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice Dragon v2 Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 yes more useless facts to send Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Deranged Gerbil Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Ice Dragon v2 [/i] [B]yes more useless facts to send [/B][/QUOTE] hey, has anyone ever told you that you have a BIG mouth which needs shutting? appropriate methods are required, namely sticking a big shoe in your mouth :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 No offence, but that isn't very "fun".... Games are for kids..... hence why I don't play games and find them extremely repulsive and pretty much moronic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Soft mush Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaku II Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 2 things: 1. Who the hell are you? 2. That post was extremly useless. Your post has made everyone who read it dumber. Thanx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biida Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 OMG, Those are funny!! *reads them again, and falls out of her chair, laughing* Owchies...:D :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Soft mush Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Zaku II [/i] [B]2 things: 1. Who the hell are you? 2. That post was extremly useless. Your post has made everyone who read it dumber. Thanx. [/B][/QUOTE] I am so gonna have to be angry with you right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice Dragon v2 Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Deranged Gerbil [/i] [B] hey, has anyone ever told you that you have a BIG mouth which needs shutting? appropriate methods are required, namely sticking a big shoe in your mouth :mad: [/B][/QUOTE] geez, get off ppl's business i get useless facts from my friends. im gonna send them these facts so shut up n stay away from my business n i wasnt insulting him which backfires your dis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted August 30, 2001 Share Posted August 30, 2001 Since most of this topic has the maturity of a 4 year old.... and the fact that none of you can keep your mouth shut, including myself.... topic is no longer needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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