Writing Lyrics

[Raquel]

Ok... Well... I'm working on writing so heres where I'm gonna post my work so it can be critiqued and criticized... Enjoy

Stain

Soul for dyin,
When you die you?ll find again,
Wings for flyin,
Your problems tragic,
A truth of lies
Thinkin I can create magic,

Eyes reflecting pain,
Crimson blood and a razor blade,
Upon the floor it leaves a stain,
Upon my mind it leaves a stainnn?

How shall I tell your father,
That you died at my feet,
Do you think that I should even bother,
Cleaning the stain at my feet

Ivory and ebony,
Crimson blood the only color,
Upon the floor it leaves a stain,
Upon my soul it leaves a stainnn?

Broken mirror,
Lookin at the world through the eyes of others,
It?s a better place,
Black and white there are no colors

Shards of glass,
Crimson blood and shattered tears
Upon the floor it leaves a stain,
Upon my hands it leaves a stainnnn?

Black sails in a silver mist
Blood spilt at my feet
Death is brought by Forsaken?s kiss
Staring at the stain at my feet

Sand and sea,
Crimson blood the only other,
Upon the floor it leaves a stain,
Upon my mind it leaves a stain,
Upon my soul it leaves a stain,
Upon my heart it leaves a?
Stainnn?

[Soccer 4 Life]

:wow: This is an outstanding piece of work, from beginning 'til the end.

I personally like the ending, it's deep and unique in it's own dazzling way....

U have a making of a true writer..

[Raquel]

Leave me to die,
Cold to the bone,
I'll fend while I cry,
Trust is forsaken,
Broken and bled,
Liberties taken,
Truth's been force-fed

Pain's subsided,
I'm feeling numb,
Life?s abated,
Truth has come

To pull through,
Soul is needed,
I wronged you,
Discussion heated
Permission to maim,
A look in the glass,
Given to shame,
Felt hate as I pass,

Pain's subsided,
I'm feeling numb,
Life?s abated,
Truth has come

As I sit here and bleed,
It splatters the floor,
I'm feeling the need,
To watch as it pours,
Spilling unchecked,
Reflection of fear,
My mind has been wrecked,
Madness is here

Pain's subsided,
I'm feeling numb,
Life?s abated,
Truth has come

But what of the others?
But what of their pain?
Considered them brothers,
Crimson the stain,
Reliving this lie,
I stand at the sink,
This husk starts to die,
I fall from the brink

Pain's subsided,
I'm feeling numb,
Life?s abated,
Truth has come

[RicoTranzrig]

That's great writing :) I swear I could visualize a music video for the second one. Of course, for the first one, I can imagine heavy screaming to distorted guitars. Good work!

[Raquel]

Thanks both of you... I'm still working on another one... Although... it seems to me I'm pretty single minded... They all seem to revolve around suffering, pain, blood, and darkness... O.o"

[Boo]

[color=red]CO.ol! Thats really Co.Ol![/color]

[Raquel]

Firefight

The shadows on the wall,
Entrance my burnin mind,
Screamin as I fall,
Of what I wish to find

The oppression of the fire,
I'm burnin up inside
I'm stuck in mire,
Nothin left on the inside


But flame
It burns as I scream,
It's written inside,
Flame
What else can I learn,
I'm burning inside

Scorching flesh,
It soothes the mind,
Behind the mesh,
They've drawn the line

The flames confined,
Been cuffed again,
Regaining mind,
I'm stuck in pen


Flame
It burns as I scream,
It's written inside,
Flame
What else can I learn,
I'm burning inside

[zidane11]

I think you should make a song out of that, It goes together really fluently. keep up the good work.

[Imp]

Here are the lyrics to a song I wrote.

Title: Mystic
Length: 8:47 (that's really long :wow: )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[COLOR=royal blue]Let's fly to a new place
I see a smile on your face
Let's go to this mystic land
Come on let's have some fun
I know you're not the only one
Come let's travel back in time

Fairies go and come
When they hear the sound of the drum
Six moons to block the sun
Still they know the day isn't done

Fairies are casting spells
Deep down in the wishing wells
We're in a mystic place
So far away it's up in outer space[/COLOR]

[COLOR=red]What year is it? We see...
It is 1200 B.C.
We are on the planet Gala
We see a whole dark world
No light hardly in this world
Still they sing la la la la la la

Witches and wizards too
The sky of aqua blue
Five moons surround the place
But I know there's a sixth one in place

The sun Inferna glows
But nobody ever knows
We're in a mystic land
If you believe then come and take my hand[/COLOR]

[COLOR=limegreen]Lots of things to see in the day
In the forest the critters go and pray
It's like they try to bring the sun
They dance so happily
They sing oh so enchantingly
They do this till the day is done

Most flowers cannot grow
But the real ones really glow
It's such a magic scene
And I know they glitter and gleam

They bathe in the moonlight
And that's why they shine so bright
We're in a mystic trance
Cause up in space you gotta take a chance[/COLOR]

[COLOR=deeppink]Another planet's in sight
They look up in the starlight
They dream 'bout the planet Orenya
That planet is sort of the same
As them in many ways
As if they were really twins

They travel up in space
They try to find the place
They travel night and day
But they know it's too far away

Still they dream and pray
Throughout the entire day
We're in a mystic tale
If we believe then we will never fail[/COLOR]

[COLOR=purple]There is a musical fountain
As sacred as a little mountain
And they hear a happy tune
The song is so enchanting
The melody is so relaxing
It's like looking up at a blue moon

They make up songs and rhymes
To reflect those happy times
They can be good or bad
But I know they're never mad

Music is heard by all
It's like a spirit's call
We're in a mystic dream
Can you believe the wonders we have seen?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=teal]One day they heard a sound
It was an object above the ground
It was a giant asteroid
They knew it would hit
It would hit the planet
Even though the moons were hard to avoid

Suddenly they saw the sun
They cheered but knew what was done
They did not know why
But they knew that they would die

The asteroid hit the ground
It killed everyone around
We're in a mystic curse
This could be bad; whatever could be worse?[/COLOR]

[COLOR=chocolate]When the rock hit the planet
Five moons went in to grab it
The sixth flew way out in space
The rock flew out soon
Eventually it formed the moon
The planet was a whole new place

The next dreadful day
Flew by like rain in May
Only one survived
But she knew she would have died

The big impact from hell
Formed into Planet K-12
We're in a mystic light
Even after this the future shines so bright[/COLOR]

[COLOR=orange]We are back in the present
Even so, it's not so pleasant
Because Gala's totally gone
It's just a memory now
Galadra's the moon of K-12
Fairies thrive in the morning sun

The twelve Fairysum
Protect the magic as one
There is a leader, then
But she knows she's different from them

[B]Her mother's still alive, and she was there in the past
If she wasn't there, Gala would not last
Her name's Kirasakurati, a legend as well
Starts with K, has twelve letters, so they named it K-12

Now they wish to find Earth
It can start a whole new birth
Earth is K-12's friend
So this isn't the end[/B]

Peace and joy to all
This planet is not a fall
We're in a mystic song
I'll speak it out to everyone!!![/COLOR]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that's it. Long, huh? :rolleyes: Whatcha think?

[Raquel]

Worn

A mirror shattered,
A child screams,
soul lies tattered,
hidden in dreams,
broken corpses litter the ground,
frozen in terror,
a silent sound


Life
It's worn
And old
I'm worn
And cold
And I'm tired and bleeding, my life's on hold

Heart of icy stone,
in the dreaming I had it right,
reality is that I'm all alone,
confined in the darkness of night,
it sooths my soul,
vampiric kiss,
a bloody hole


Life
It's worn
And jaded
I'm worn
And faded
And I'm tired and bleeding my life's on hold

~~~~~~

That one wasen't very good... O.o"

[Biida]

Jesus Christ, Siren.. *stares, gaping, completely at a loss for words*

Those are...amazing. O.O Hehe I wish I could write half as well as that. Do a few more and e-mail them to me in advance. :D

[And Nefertimon, yes, that song was long. But it was well worth the time it took to read it. ^^ I love it. ]

[Imp]

Hee hee hee... If you like Mystic, here's another one you'll like... it's called "My Best Friend". It's a fairly sad song, but I think it's good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[COLOR=indigo]All the times we've been together
They made me cry
We are friends in happy weather
Lots of sunshine
The power of friendship is a very special thing
One kiss and one hug, and you're immediately on wings

You can fly
This is what it means to be a true friend
Life goes by
But I know we have to say goodbye

I can't give you gifts
But I can give you this
A memory of the times we had before
I can't give you cards
But I can give you my heart
I hope you know that you are my best friend

We talk about many things on the phone
We AIM and send email
So we're not alone
The power of love is a thing that lasts forever
Even if we say goodbye we will still be together

I can't give you gifts
But I can give you this
A memory of the times we had before
I can't give you cards
But I can give you my heart
I hope you know that you are my best friend

It's just so sad that we have to part
But you will still be very close to my heart
Make new friends but keep the old
One is silver, but the other is gold

You can fly
This is what it means to be a true friend
Life goes by
But I know we have to say goodbye

I can give you gifts
But I can give you this
A memory of the times we had before
I can't give you cards
But I can give you my heart
I hope you know that you are my best friend

Oh I can't give you gifts
But I can give you this
A memory of the times we had...
Oh I can't give you cards
But I can give you my heart...
I hope you know that you are my best friend

I hope you know that you are my best...
Friend[/COLOR]