Frankie Posted October 9, 2002 Share Posted October 9, 2002 Here we go people hopefully this worksi wouldent mind opinions i know there are a few typos here and there... i got someone doing some editing i guess what do you think of chapter 1? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Na'dou Posted October 9, 2002 Share Posted October 9, 2002 I'm going to have to read it from my computer, but it sounds great so far...what about mine, did you get to see it?... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Tremaine Posted October 9, 2002 Share Posted October 9, 2002 What sort of opinions do you want? I've only flicked through it, so I can give you my first impressions. It's a bit hard to grasp what's going on because of the format it's in (not your fault- I don't get along with text only documents). I like the dialogue- good Tamers style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Na'dou Posted October 9, 2002 Share Posted October 9, 2002 Blanko, the story was great, but the ending seemed a little, I don't know how to put it, but hey I'm no crtic, so everything's fine...great story... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devidramon Posted October 10, 2002 Share Posted October 10, 2002 I hope it doesn't sound harsh, but most people would rather that someone go over the good and the bad. The good: Looks pretty interesting so far. Like the dialogue, and Takato's banter. If this had been at the beginning of the season, Takato would probably be too afraid to say anything like that to Rika. Who's the other Tamer? Good or bad? If good, please, please don't make her a Mary Sue. The bad: Only thing really wrong is the way they just attacked Pteramon and Wendigomon. I could see if Renamon did it back in her data-hunting days, but if this takes place after the season, then they wouldn't just go around killing every Digimon who bio-emerged for no reason with no questions asked, which is sure what it looks like they were trying to do. Nitpicks: Guilmon doesn't have fur, Kyubimon's a fox, and it looks a lot better if you write numbers out (eg. "the four of them" is better than "the 4 of them." Also, I'd really cut and paste it into the reply box instead of saving it as an attachment so we don't have to download it and wait for Word, Claris Works, what-have-you to translate it. A lot of people aren't going to work that hard for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted October 10, 2002 Author Share Posted October 10, 2002 ..it wasent wendigomon it was prariemon... but YORU NOT SAPOSED TO KNOW THAT anyways... like i said i typed that pretty quickly so i messed up on a few things CHAPTER 1 is saposed to be a little....mysterious liek the lizard or the girl... and the 2 digimon were possesed..guilmon and renamon senced this then the 2 digimon attacked so the others did too... and i am not trying to make them ravenous digi killers... the 2 digimon had the POSSESED crimson like eyes...that will be expalied more in chapter 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted October 19, 2002 Author Share Posted October 19, 2002 sorry for the double post BUT.. what do you guys think should i continue this fic And what do you suggest for a good enemy... i have my ideas but i need opinions too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devidramon Posted October 19, 2002 Share Posted October 19, 2002 If it's called [i]Ancient[/i] Arrivals, perhaps one of the Ancients? The Ancients of the bad Hybrids are A. Troiamon, A. Sphinxmon, A. Mermaimon, A. Volcamon, and A. Wisemon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted October 19, 2002 Author Share Posted October 19, 2002 O.O OOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOoooOooOo nice.. thanks.. ill take that into mind... ill look into that...sounds....cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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