vegeta rocker Posted October 14, 2002 Share Posted October 14, 2002 Well i wrote this one last night, its just one of those that is about nothing yet everything. Someone told me it remined them about santa. Thoughts upon a roof top I stood upon a roof top and contemplated the most uncommon things how long the construction had taken where the shingles were bought the wind in response to my ridiculous thoughts whispered its opinion seeing not a marring cloud nor a tinted bird the air bore a feeling of rebirth i found myself wondering oddly enough if it's unwavering eye could actually see me scanning the horizon partially blocked by the trees holding up the sky no insects dared speak they merely held fast to their twigs and comtemplated the most common things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted October 14, 2002 Share Posted October 14, 2002 [color=red] It's good. But not your best. It just doesn't flow as readily and as easily as your earlier works. But, it is still a good poem. Just keep at it! [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted October 14, 2002 Author Share Posted October 14, 2002 thanks for the crit, i have been getting lazy on that. i will keep at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now