Writing The True Story of Humpty Dumpty

[Sui Generis]

Well ok my H. English decided to have us write a child's story in a new view, allowing us to add characters and change it slightly. For some reason I allowed one of my friends to read it and she thinks I should post it on here so I will. Don't know why. Anyways, here you go...the real story behind Humpty Dumpty...


A silent figure loomed over the small wooden table. He lit the candle. As the flame grew his features began appearing as if by magic. The man had a sneer on his face, and his eyes were set. Something had happened and it seemed that he had taken twisted pleasure in what happened. He sat down and took a small quill out of his can of ink. Scribbling down a few words the man began laughing. The paper now shimmering with the man?s evil said ?Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, Humpty Dumpty didn?t live at all.? The man chuckled silently rubbing his mustache, for he thought he was terribly clever. After thinking for a moment he scribbled down more words. ? It had started out as any day, the sun shining too bright and the animals too happy.? This is where the story begins.
It had started out, as any day, the sun shining too bright and the animals were too happy. I always hated these days, and wondered how I could destroy these horribly perfect days. No matter where I looked there was happiness. It disgusted me; I mean who honestly wants to be happy? I was walking through the forest in my usual miserable mood and trying to avoid everything. To me the world needed to be more sad and miserable, like me. That was my ideal world. I walked past a pair of rabbits playing and shook my head. Then trying to destroy their fun I threw an apple at them. They scampered away, and I laughed for I loved seeing rabbits flee. I looked back towards the path and noticed something. There was someone or something on the bridge hovering over the stream. As I came closer I noticed it was an egg, and the egg was reading a book and humming. At first I didn?t believe my eyes, an egg, finally as I came to my sense I became even more irate. Why could this piece of food be so happy, I had to find a way to make him less happy? I walked up to him and began talking. To my dismay we had a fairly pleasant conversation talking about the weather and his book. I found out that his friends called him ?Humpty Dumpty?, some name. After some slow conversation I finally came to a point where I couldn?t take anymore of his mindless blabbering and pushed him off the bridge. He screamed on the way down and when I lent over to see what happened, I noticed that he was shattered and scattered all over the place. I smiled; this certainly must?ve put an end to his happiness. I laughed slightly as the words ?Humpty Dumpty had a fall, Humpty Dumpty didn?t live at all.? The tune was actually catchy; I began saying it under my breath as I laughed louder and louder. Then I heard a noise. The kings men! I slumped down, so that from the stream I could not be seen. I stayed there hoping that I would not be found. As time went along I became impatient and poked my head over the edge. What I saw then I couldn?t believe, the stupid egg was up and laughing. The king?s men had put him together and were sharing stories with him. I couldn?t believe this, even through his hard times he was happy. I stood there gawking at the should be sunny side up egg. ?Halt!? The sound rang through the air; I turned to see a knight looking me square in the face. ?You are under arrest for the attempted murder of our friend, Humpty Dumpty!? The knight then came over and grabbed me. I was in a state of daze and couldn?t believe was going on. I was dragged to a horse and thrown on top. Then as I laid there staring down at the grown, the egg came and wobbled over to me. ?And let that be a lesson to you, even through the hardest times happiness will prevail!? after saying this he just walked off. I stared at his back in disbelief, someone be happy no matter what? How was this possible? Just as I began wondering these things, the horses started off. I was taken to a jail cell where I am currently living at. I sit here writing this story and I smile. For the egg was right, through it all happiness can triumph. So as odd as this may sound, the moral of my story is, ?No matter how tough it is grin and shrug. Life will always be easier with the daily amount of laughter and happiness accounted for.?

[Mitch]

[color=red] That was great. Except I didn't like the end. It didn't sound like the character you had been building throughout the entire story. When you make a character look the way they are, they should stay that character throughout the entire story. Well, I suppose you were making the moral visible so kids could see it, but it kind of ruined the end of the story. But other than that, it was great.[/color]

[Sui Generis]

Yeah exactly we were supposed to have a moral at the end and I forgot all about it so I had to state a moral, so I'm honestly not to proud of the ending...anyways thanks for the comments!

Crit needed and welcomed!