Writing MegamanX's adventure

[LoneStar]

Hey I'm a [SIZE=4]BIG[/SIZE] fan of megaman and megamanX games aswell as anything related to them. This is a story that I thought up and thought it was pretty cool so I decided to post it. so read it though and tell me what you think of it. I hope you like it as much as I liked thinking it up.

Megaman X (a.k.a. X) opened his eyes and looked around the small tank. On his left was a picture of his best friend Zero, the red Maverick Hunter that had died three days ago. As he looked at the picture X felt a tear form and run down his cheek then onto his blue titanium chest plate. He then wiped it away and opened the recharge pod and stepped out noticing the sound of his metal foot hit the solid ground in front of the pod.
As X was getting out of the pod and noticed an object lying on the table in the middle of the room, as he approached the table he recognized that it was Zero?s Z-saber and under it was a note addressed to him.
Dear X,
This is Zero?s Z-saber as you may have guessed. It was found with a few other pieces of his red Armor, I thought it would be best if you had it.
I know your still mourning the death of Zero as well as most of the base is, but we?re holding a party to lighten everyone?s mood and would like you to attend it. It will be at 8:00 P.M. tonight.
Alia

?Great this should get my mind off of Zero,? X said to himself with a hint of sarcasm.
X then noticed that he had e-mail and went to check it at his computer. But before he got a chance to open it the message opened itself and a picture of Zero appeared ?X you may think that I am dead but I?m not, I was severely wounded and have been hiding out in the old part of town. This isn?t the time for questions can you come and get me, soon? My auto repair systems have repaired me for the most part, but I still need some repairs to my right leg. I?ll wear a black cloak so you will know who I am. Well I?ll see you later.
In total disbelief X thought for a moment and decided to take Alia with him. But since he didn?t know were she was, so dialed her comm. channel soon her face appeared and X noticed that she was covered with dirt, her blonde hair was a mess and her light red and white amour was covered with sand and mud.
?What do you need X?? Alia asked in a tiered voice.
?Zero is alive he just contacted me,? X said hurriedly ?can you come with me to the outskirts of town to get him??
?Wait slow down, alright. You say Zero is alive right, and want me to come with you?? Alia asked skeptically.
?Yes, I would like you to,? X said calmly.
?Alright I?ll come with you, but if this is a joke I?m going to hurt you,? Alia said in a stern voice.
About an hour later X and Alia met at the hunter base and left for the outskirts of town. It took them about an hour or so to get there, but when they got there they couldn?t find Zero. As they started looking for Zero they went down an alley and suddenly they heard a tapping sound from behind them. When they turned they saw a figure wearing a black cloak, and walking with a cane in one of his hands, then he lifted the hood and Zero looked at them.
Suddenly a blast shot past X and hit Zero Square in the chest and Zero slumped to the ground. X ran to Zero and he was also shot, in his back, then soon Alia joined them in an unconscious heap.
Two hours later X awoke chained to a concrete wall as he looked around him he noticed Zero and Alia were chained to the wall as well both were already awake. X asked, ?Were are we??
?Think we?re in a Maverick base, somewhere in town,? Alia said dryly.
Suddenly three massive reploids walked though a door on the other side of the small room.
?Good your awake,? boomed one of the reploids.
Then the three reploids freed X, Zero, and Alia led them to a large room filled with Reploids and Humans, who yelled simultaneously, ?Happy Birthday X.?
X looked around very confused and looked at Zero who was laughing, and asked what is going on??
Zero stopped laughing and said with a grin, ?It took us a full year to plan this surprise party for you with out you finding out about it. I ?died? so that you would stay in your room and mourn and not notice every one gone. During the last three days I have been hiding out and last night I went, got the cake and brought it here. So Happy Birthday X lets enjoy the party.?
:eek:

[Mitch]

[color=red] Heh, it is a nice twisting story. But it still could be improved greatly. This is the rough, I'm guessing, Mike, so I'm not going to lay down lots of negativity. But yes, it could be much better improved. For one thing, it doesn't seem to flow...and I found myself losing interest at parts. But that could be easily fixed with more descriptive words, and an improvement on the vocabulary. If you want me to help you along with editing it, I'll be happy. Just PM me or whatever, and I'll help you make it better.

But it was good. The basis and the idea of it were wonderful. It just could be improved muchly.[/color]